The most profound experiences i had during pregnancy, communicating with my children in utero... or communications from my children in utero.
I conceived of our first the day that my Father in law (fil) had a major heart attack. We didn't know that this had happened... we live in Canada, he lives in the UK, and we had been out all day.
It was found that fil needed a bypass... quickly. Because of the timing of conception coinciding with fil's heart attack, I was already alerted to the fact that our child might have a strong connection with fil, or with my partner's family in general.
The day of the operation, I was about 25 weeks pregnant, the baby suddenly stopped moving. It was so quiet in my womb, that I was slightly concerned, but keeping the faith that this might have something to do with fil being in surgery at that exact time. Calling family, this was confirmed... the surgery had just started an hour ago, which coincided with the sudden quiet in my womb.
After about 6 hours, I suddenly felt movement again. I told dh that his father must have come to from the operation. Half an hour later the phone rang, it was mil, telling us that fil had come to half an hour ago.
Another time the baby didn't move. I was concerned this time, because we knew that fil was okay, and hopping around in his garden. I called my mother, who does muscle testing. She lives in the Netherlands, so it would be testing across distance. The outcome was a sentence in a book: "swimming with dolphins". I thought "whatever..." and soon the baby started to move again. A day later, I was visiting with new neighbours, who have a three year old, Reno. Reno suddenly climbed up on my lap quite um, shall I say "lively"? His mother warned him: careful of the baby in Mandala's tummy! He looked at me, and said that the baby wasn't there today. I asked him where the baby was, and he answered "swimming with the dolphins".
I woke up one morning, with a thought loud and clear in my mind: "This is a boy, and he will be called Joshua". Okay then! He had introduced himself. Dh totally agreed with the name (phew!).
A week later we decided that his second name would be Leslie, a family name in dh's family; held by dh's grandfather and uncle. It fitted very well with his first name and our last name... it just *felt* right.
Once Josh was born, dh's parents visited from the UK when Josh was 7months old. Fil immediately commented that Josh was the spitting image of his brother Leslie. Later on we received photos from another family member, and some of the photos were of dh's grandfather. We can now see the incredible similarities (Josh is now 3 years old, we wouldn't have been able to see that at 7months).
During the last month of pregnancy, I was very reluctant to lie on my side. That was kind of awkward, since the side is the easiest for sleeping while highly pregnant. But with pillows and lots of space it worked.
During labour, things seemed to stagnate, I was getting concerned. Up to that point, I had been very confident. But now I was getting uncomfortable with the hints I felt that the midwives were dropping about "moving things along". I was pretending to have pushing contractions (yeah right, as if they wouldn't know the difference) but I was in fact politely pushing along. I asked the midwives, rather urgently, what I could do. They suggested that I lie on the bed, on my side. I told them that I was reluctant to do so, since I hadn't wanted to do so for three months. They said it was their experience that it would help, so I did. But as soon as I had my next contraction, the heart rate of the baby went down from 130 to 90. This was not good. I was ordered to lie on my other side. The heart rate went down to 60. This meant cord trouble. This was bad. The backup midwife left to call 911 for an emergency transfer to the hospital. My primary midwife told me that the baby needed to come out now. I totally agreed with her, I was adamant that this baby would be born at home, not in an ambulance or hospital. I ordered dh to get a kitchen chair, to put it in the living room, and for him to sit on it. The backup midwife is still on the phone (this is all within a minute of her getting up to call)... I squat in front of dh, hold on to his sweater around the waist, and I bear down. Josh was born within two pushes. The backup midwife was still passing on vital stats for the ambulance.
The reason I mention this, is that I had given away my authority while becoming insecure. I no longer took their counsel, I was looking to them for authority. The moment I was given it back (when the primary mw told me that the baby needed to come out now) I was in control, knew what to do and how to do it. I took this to heart with my second labour, which lasted all of an hour from the moment I knew I was in labour until the birth of the placenta. I kept in touch with what I was feeling... and I communicated with my unborn child. He told me to take off my pants, and whoosh, the first show appeared. Not a stain in my panties. I said to dh that I wished my water would break: whoosh, it broke. I heard a voice inside me saying: Hello, I'm coming now. I told dh to get "the chair" (same setup as first birth), I squatted, pushed and the primary midwife had to yell: Stop pushing!, or I would have pushed him out in one push. It took two pushes. The midwives were in our house for respectively 3 minutes and 15 minutes. I had made the tea for the first to arrive myself, I was still only having "menstrual cramp-like pain" when she arrived.
I didn't have any tearing for either birth. Both babes were fine and had full apgar scores. As long as I listened to my inner self, I felt totally connected with the needs of my children.
That is my main wish for you> that you may find trust that, whichever kind of birth your child choses, your body knows what to do. You can communicate with your children. You can ask them what they need, you can tell them what is going to happen. Dh was already prepared for emergencies to talk to the baby about closing chakras in case of an emergency birth, either through vacuum extraction or c-section or something. These things are not outside your control. But it requires trust. I wish for you that you will follow your own intuition, fully trusting the feelings you are having, each moment. That you can ride the pains, knowing that they are preparing your body just that step further for the arrival of your child.
Please let me know if you have any questions. PM me if you want to email. I wish you happy birthing, and a beautiful, peaceful babymoon. Time is getting closer... I am thinking of you and your babe. (((((hugs)))))
