Hello Everyone,
I haven't posted here in a while, but some of you may remember my story. I posted my story about my most recent past life memories here at the forum quite a while back, but since my earlier posts are no longer available in the archives, I would like to repost my *long* story...I have very *vivid* detailed memories of my prior life. The majority of my PL memories are of the mid to late 1930s in NY. The story of how my PL memories came to me is a long story in itself, but I believe this is an important part of my story and may be of interest to some of you who haven't read it...It will take me a number of posts to tell my story in detail, so I'll be posting my story here in parts.
In my present life I was born in 1940 in Los Angeles, CA. I have one brother, his name is Michael, and he is two and a half years younger than me...When I was a young child first beginning to explore my LA neighborhood, I can remember looking everywhere for a creek I was sure I would find somewhere near my home. I could clearly remember walking along a creek on the way to a small neighborhood market, yet no matter how many times I searched my neighborhood, I was never able to find the creek or the little neighborhood market. What puzzled me even more was that I could remember walking along the creek with my brother and friends who were on longer in my life.-- I knew that my little brother at home was not the same brother and I wondered what had happened to my (other) brother and family...I have a vague memory of asking my mother what had happened to the creek,(the water) but I don't think I was able to communicate well enough for her to be able to understand what I was really asking her about.
I think I came to believe (for a time) that there must be two worlds. I was fascinated by stories of brownies or "little people" and I'd keep trying to find this "other" world...Also when I was young I had reoccurring nightmares of falling (usually from a tall pole) and I would wake up feeling terrified, with my heart pounding...Beside these falling nightmares, I had many fears as a child, that I believe were related to my (recent) PL traumas...I eventually outgrew the nightmares and overcame many of my fears, but I've had a life-long fear of heights (though my fear of heights is no longer as severe as it once was)...The flashbacks and memories that confused me when I was young faded to the back of my mind as I grew older, and I had a pretty normal childhood after that.
I married my childhood sweetheart at age 16 and we were very much in love for the first few years of our marriage. In time my young husbands irresponsibility, money problems and both of our immaturity caused problems in our marriage. Ater 4 years of marriage, I divorced my husband, but ended up going back with him a year later, mainly because of our two children.
When I was 23 years old I began to feel very troubled. It started with my feeling a longing to find my "soulmate" (my truelove). I felt a deep emptyness inside and believed that I could never feel complete or happy until I was with my soulmate that I was meant to be with. My mind gradually turned inward until my fantasy world became my reality. My obsession with finding my soulmate eventually led to my having delusions...I insisted on having only a platonic relationship with my husband, because in my confused state of mind, I felt that I could only give my love to my (one and only) soulmate.
Not long after my delusions began, I had some very shocking and painful flashbacks come to me suddenly. These flashbacks came to me in bits and pieces, a little at a time, and they were so vivid that I actually believed they were memories from my current childhood,(memories I had blocked out somehow)...I struggled for years after this trying to fit the sad, painful, or traumatic new memories that kept surfacing in with my prior childhood memories--But the more I remembered, the more confused I became, because the new memories were just too different...Also the areas and places I kept remembering, (in great detail) were very different than any of the places or areas where I had actually lived,(in my present life)...My mind was in so much turmoil and pain during this all of this upheaval, that I was barely able to function...Of course my mental state was very hard for my husband to understand or deal with, and he eventually found another woman.
When my husband suddenly gave me notice to pack up and leave, it came as a terrible shock, and was a very rude awakening for me. I won't go into all the details here of what happened after that except to say that I was forced for a time to move in with my parents who took over my children and treated me like an outsider, or the family idiot, (but that's another story)...I was very miserable, lonely and lost in my own little world, during the year or so I lived with my folks, but I eventually managed to come out of my "inner world" enough so that I could get a factory job.--I did this out of shear desperation I believe, even in the confused state of mind I was in, so that I could move out and into my own apartment with my children.
By the time I was 27 years old, I was in a new relationship, still very confused in my thinking and pregnant with my 3rd. child. My boyfriend/father figure,(7 years my senior)and I moved in together soon after we found that I was pregnant. My boyfriend knew that I was in a very troubled state of mind and he encouraged me to tell him about the painful memories that continued to huant and disturb me...As I talked to my boyfriend about my memories, regularly, I found that I was able to remember more things in greater detail, and more of the pieces of the puzzle (as it seemed to me then) were connecting, but the memories still would not fit in with my other childhood memories.--It was like I had two separate sets of childhood memories and my newer, very painful memories were just as vivid as my other childhood memories.
One evening as I was reviewing and reliving (to a point) some of my more disturbing memories, and telling my boyfriend about the feeling they brought on, a picture of a creek flashed through my mind. Suddenly I remembered my childhood flashbacks of the creek and the little neighborhood market that I had tried to find in vain...After this I had a breakthrough in my memories, and it was then I finally realized, that the painful memories which had confused me for years, were actually memories of my prior life.
I could remember then that my name had been "Colleen" and that I had been 13 years old when my painful experiences (with boys) had first begun. I remembered that I had a brother named, Johnny, who was a few years younger than me, and that I had a half-sister named, Trudy, who was several years younger than my brother Johnny. (I later rememberd a baby half-brother, whose name I could not recall)...I seemed to just know that I had lived in New York, but I couldn't remember an address, or even the name of the city.-- I later remembered a street name, (Cortlandt) and after researching this name along with other clues that my flashbacks provided, I eventually came to believe that I had most likely lived in the S. Bronx.
As a young teenaged girl named Colleen, my self image was extremely poor and this was mainly due to abuse I suffered over a long period of time, because of my love (and obsession) over an older boy who used and abused me to bolster his own ego...I saw myself as a skinny, pale, freckle-faced girl with curly, bushy hair that was hard to control. I had a thin heart-shaped face and my hair was a dirty or rusty blonde color. I found that I was able to see pictures in my mind of most of my (former) family members and especially my brother Johnny.
In my next post, (part 2) I'll tell about some of the sad, painful and traumatic experiences I remembered that were so disturbing in this PL, (without going into too much detail) beginning when I was 13 years old and ending with my accidental death at age 15.
One of the main reasons it continues to be important to me to tell my story about this relatively recent Past life, is because I strongly believe I must have former family members (mainly siblings) who are still living. I can't give up the hope that I will one day be able to validate my PL memories and then locate former family members, but time is running out for me to be able to do this I feel.
I plan to continue my story, on a new thread, hopefully within the week...In the meantime, I would welcome any feedback or questions any of you might have regarding this part of my story.
In LOve and Light,
------------------
Lily~
I haven't posted here in a while, but some of you may remember my story. I posted my story about my most recent past life memories here at the forum quite a while back, but since my earlier posts are no longer available in the archives, I would like to repost my *long* story...I have very *vivid* detailed memories of my prior life. The majority of my PL memories are of the mid to late 1930s in NY. The story of how my PL memories came to me is a long story in itself, but I believe this is an important part of my story and may be of interest to some of you who haven't read it...It will take me a number of posts to tell my story in detail, so I'll be posting my story here in parts.
In my present life I was born in 1940 in Los Angeles, CA. I have one brother, his name is Michael, and he is two and a half years younger than me...When I was a young child first beginning to explore my LA neighborhood, I can remember looking everywhere for a creek I was sure I would find somewhere near my home. I could clearly remember walking along a creek on the way to a small neighborhood market, yet no matter how many times I searched my neighborhood, I was never able to find the creek or the little neighborhood market. What puzzled me even more was that I could remember walking along the creek with my brother and friends who were on longer in my life.-- I knew that my little brother at home was not the same brother and I wondered what had happened to my (other) brother and family...I have a vague memory of asking my mother what had happened to the creek,(the water) but I don't think I was able to communicate well enough for her to be able to understand what I was really asking her about.
I think I came to believe (for a time) that there must be two worlds. I was fascinated by stories of brownies or "little people" and I'd keep trying to find this "other" world...Also when I was young I had reoccurring nightmares of falling (usually from a tall pole) and I would wake up feeling terrified, with my heart pounding...Beside these falling nightmares, I had many fears as a child, that I believe were related to my (recent) PL traumas...I eventually outgrew the nightmares and overcame many of my fears, but I've had a life-long fear of heights (though my fear of heights is no longer as severe as it once was)...The flashbacks and memories that confused me when I was young faded to the back of my mind as I grew older, and I had a pretty normal childhood after that.
I married my childhood sweetheart at age 16 and we were very much in love for the first few years of our marriage. In time my young husbands irresponsibility, money problems and both of our immaturity caused problems in our marriage. Ater 4 years of marriage, I divorced my husband, but ended up going back with him a year later, mainly because of our two children.
When I was 23 years old I began to feel very troubled. It started with my feeling a longing to find my "soulmate" (my truelove). I felt a deep emptyness inside and believed that I could never feel complete or happy until I was with my soulmate that I was meant to be with. My mind gradually turned inward until my fantasy world became my reality. My obsession with finding my soulmate eventually led to my having delusions...I insisted on having only a platonic relationship with my husband, because in my confused state of mind, I felt that I could only give my love to my (one and only) soulmate.
Not long after my delusions began, I had some very shocking and painful flashbacks come to me suddenly. These flashbacks came to me in bits and pieces, a little at a time, and they were so vivid that I actually believed they were memories from my current childhood,(memories I had blocked out somehow)...I struggled for years after this trying to fit the sad, painful, or traumatic new memories that kept surfacing in with my prior childhood memories--But the more I remembered, the more confused I became, because the new memories were just too different...Also the areas and places I kept remembering, (in great detail) were very different than any of the places or areas where I had actually lived,(in my present life)...My mind was in so much turmoil and pain during this all of this upheaval, that I was barely able to function...Of course my mental state was very hard for my husband to understand or deal with, and he eventually found another woman.
When my husband suddenly gave me notice to pack up and leave, it came as a terrible shock, and was a very rude awakening for me. I won't go into all the details here of what happened after that except to say that I was forced for a time to move in with my parents who took over my children and treated me like an outsider, or the family idiot, (but that's another story)...I was very miserable, lonely and lost in my own little world, during the year or so I lived with my folks, but I eventually managed to come out of my "inner world" enough so that I could get a factory job.--I did this out of shear desperation I believe, even in the confused state of mind I was in, so that I could move out and into my own apartment with my children.
By the time I was 27 years old, I was in a new relationship, still very confused in my thinking and pregnant with my 3rd. child. My boyfriend/father figure,(7 years my senior)and I moved in together soon after we found that I was pregnant. My boyfriend knew that I was in a very troubled state of mind and he encouraged me to tell him about the painful memories that continued to huant and disturb me...As I talked to my boyfriend about my memories, regularly, I found that I was able to remember more things in greater detail, and more of the pieces of the puzzle (as it seemed to me then) were connecting, but the memories still would not fit in with my other childhood memories.--It was like I had two separate sets of childhood memories and my newer, very painful memories were just as vivid as my other childhood memories.
One evening as I was reviewing and reliving (to a point) some of my more disturbing memories, and telling my boyfriend about the feeling they brought on, a picture of a creek flashed through my mind. Suddenly I remembered my childhood flashbacks of the creek and the little neighborhood market that I had tried to find in vain...After this I had a breakthrough in my memories, and it was then I finally realized, that the painful memories which had confused me for years, were actually memories of my prior life.
I could remember then that my name had been "Colleen" and that I had been 13 years old when my painful experiences (with boys) had first begun. I remembered that I had a brother named, Johnny, who was a few years younger than me, and that I had a half-sister named, Trudy, who was several years younger than my brother Johnny. (I later rememberd a baby half-brother, whose name I could not recall)...I seemed to just know that I had lived in New York, but I couldn't remember an address, or even the name of the city.-- I later remembered a street name, (Cortlandt) and after researching this name along with other clues that my flashbacks provided, I eventually came to believe that I had most likely lived in the S. Bronx.
As a young teenaged girl named Colleen, my self image was extremely poor and this was mainly due to abuse I suffered over a long period of time, because of my love (and obsession) over an older boy who used and abused me to bolster his own ego...I saw myself as a skinny, pale, freckle-faced girl with curly, bushy hair that was hard to control. I had a thin heart-shaped face and my hair was a dirty or rusty blonde color. I found that I was able to see pictures in my mind of most of my (former) family members and especially my brother Johnny.
In my next post, (part 2) I'll tell about some of the sad, painful and traumatic experiences I remembered that were so disturbing in this PL, (without going into too much detail) beginning when I was 13 years old and ending with my accidental death at age 15.
One of the main reasons it continues to be important to me to tell my story about this relatively recent Past life, is because I strongly believe I must have former family members (mainly siblings) who are still living. I can't give up the hope that I will one day be able to validate my PL memories and then locate former family members, but time is running out for me to be able to do this I feel.
I plan to continue my story, on a new thread, hopefully within the week...In the meantime, I would welcome any feedback or questions any of you might have regarding this part of my story.
In LOve and Light,
------------------
Lily~
