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Your Lives in Review

Hippy16

Hippy16

Senior Registered
Well i have been meaning to post this for a while. I am interested in reading your life memories, in order like the first life you think you had, and a synopsis of that life. I know many of you probably have posted, but i thought it would be interesting in reading them all at once. such as tell the year, country, some memories you remember, or regressed to, how you died, children, family life etc. Perhaps if alot of people reply we could make it a sticky, in the archive section.

Here are my lives, or atleast what i think they were.

"what i call my 20s life"
-The date in the regression was Saturday June 8th 1946
-I was to my surprise a woman! i had light brown to blondish hair, sort of wavy and pulled up. i looked about 35-40 years old.
-I lived in a tall row house, somewhere up north in the us. inside was small and cramped, stairs against the wall, and beside that the kitchen. my room was a small white bed with a steel frame, white sheets,a window that would always stick. a desk with papers. a wooden floor, and yellow with brown flowers wallpaper.
-My job was down town in a restruant, about 7 tables along the wall, and a back room.
-My childhood home looked in the country, my mother was older. no father. 2 elderly scary grandparents on a chair. i ate bread, my mother washed dishes. i was outside i had long blond hair kind of tanlged. i played with a cloth doll, my mother made me.
-my worst memory was in a hospital, i can would look out the window it was sunny, it must have been against another building becuase i could see the light but just brick across the way. i would watch the opened door, and see people walking by. i felt very scared and sad, i was dying i knew it. then my mother came in, white hair, very old, but dressed nice. she sat on my bed with me and we talked, it went black. i wasnt very old, maybe only a few years after where the regression first took me. maybe 48 or 49.
-my happy memory was dancing and drinking at night in a bar, then walking home with a guy, i had this hat on off to the side. i think i was about 16 or 17. then also i was about 20 in my kitchen it looked newer, i was smoking and playing cards. my hair was pulled back, i had a white dress with red flowers. there was a baby in a carriage like thing there also, but i didnt want her, she ruined my life i felt.
-the reunion was alot of people, my mother young again. my duaghter grown up she had long brown hair. wow while writing that i brought a few memories back up. nothing big just like the color of things. ever since i did that regression i kind of had a new look on life. felt i took alot of regret with me from then, i was very very selfish in that life. it was always all about me. my duaghter was just born yet i cared less about her. in the end nobody came to see me when i was dieing, only my mother, i feel love for her. its weird i love her, and i dont even know if she existed.

"my hippy life"
well this is the life i wanted to go back to, i never even really thought about having a 20s-30s-40s life. i mean i liked the 20s but not as much as the 60s. i only have a few actual memories from this life.
-as a child maybe 5, my father has black hair, and flannel. its christmas i have 1 brother, and a mom. i got a blue rocking horse. its snowing. im a boy. i think its about 1955. i have blond hair.
- actually i dreamt and remembered this one. im at a school dance, i have short hair slicked back. and glasses lol. a white suit. im dancing with a curly haired girl in a dress. unchained melody is playing i think. i can still smell the gym. i think i was about 13 or 14 so the year was 1963 or 1964.
-then i can kind of feel getting into drugs, and getting into the whole hippy scene during the later 60s. i think i lived until 1985-86. i dont know if i had any kids. i want to do a regression to get more on this life. but im really interested in my 20s life now, so this can kind of go on the back burner for a while. becuase for some reason that life was more important. maybe it led to alot of pain and mistakes during my hippy life.

so what are yours...
 
Great idea! The memories I've read here are so interesting. Let's have more.

From what I can piece together, I lived in ancient Rome (but all I really remember is the look and sounds, and driving chariots), as a Sephardi in 15th century Spain, in American colonial times, a Native American in the 19th century, a violinist in, I think, Budapest, British soldier in WWI, in Nazi Germany, and now. There are too many memories to post--my hands would get tired from typing--and most of them aren't all that dramatic. If anybody's interested, let me know, and I'll write them down in manageable amounts. : angel
 
i would be interested in reading your lives "in a nut shell" so to speak. post whatever you like.
 
Well, you asked for it... : angel

I have no idea what this person's real name was, because he didn't use it much. He went by John Whitehawk, Whitehorse, some sort of white animal, and I can't for the life of me remember. He let himself be called that, because the white people needed a name for him that they could pronounce and not laugh. He had a lot of personal dignity, and would have felt demeaned somehow by having a funny name.

He was Native American, but I don't know which tribe or nation he grew up in.

So, I remember...

Riding with two other young men, on shaggy paint horses. The men are wearing fur clothing of a pale tan color. The horses have no saddles, and the bridles are just leather thongs, with no bits.
They are alone on a snow-covered prairie. Pine trees and bare branches grow in the hollows of the terrain. It's rolling, not flat. The day is overcast.
Ahead is Canada, and once they get there, they'll be all right. (No, I don't know why they're taking refuge in Canada, or how they got separated from their band.) They kick their horses into a gallop and ride as fast as they can, yelling and screaming because they're so relieved to be free.

Seeing a woman and two children, a boy and girl, clinging to her, on a board sidewalk. Their clothing is all shades of brown. The woman looks anxious and lost somehow. John is sick of living alone, and persuades the woman to come home with him. She agrees. They follow him without anybody saying anything more. In his mind, it's all settled--she's his wife.
Back at the house, which seems to be a soddy, she sweeps the floor and fries pancakes or something like them.

It turns out her name is Mary, and she's a widow. It was either this, or take her chances alone in a frontier town. I think she was from Ireland, and a few years older than him. He didn't keep track of his age in terms of dates, but experience. Thinking of your life in terms of how many years ago you were born, rather than what you've learned and done, would have seemed preposterous to him.

He holds worn black and white cards in his left hand, rearranging them with his right. He thinks this is a ridiculous, useless pastime, but the white people play this game, and for some reason, expect him to be naturally good at it.

They have a lot of stupid ideas (sorry, white people, but that's how it looked from his perspective.) They'll trade perfectly good items for weasel pelts. This always amuses him.

And that's enough for now.
 
Overview of Lives Remembered

I'm not sure how much is just my imagination or what could credibly be called a past life, but this is what I remember.

1. 1500s/1600s a woman in France, Paris. My finance went off to war and was killed. I married another man whom I did not love and had a family. We were middle class and I remember cooking over a black iron stove. I died of natural causes.

2. 1600s/1700s a man in Spain, Madrid. (Actually I dislike all the other cities in Spain.. I have strong pride in Madrid even now.) My previous life as a woman I had so few options, so I definitely wanted to be reincarnated as a man. I don't remember much about this life but I was proud and content. A psychic once told me that I had started this life as a peasant with a lot of baggage and bad karma, but I stuck to my principles when others around me became corrupt so it was a powerful life for me. According to the pyschic, I was a local political leader in some way. I don't remember this, but I feel I lived a long life and died of natural causes.

3. 1700s/1800s a man in United States, Philadelphia. Maybe because my previous life was begun in poverty I decided to reincarnate in a wealthy family. Also I was not interested in politics in this life at all perhaps from being jaded in my previous life and now everything was about my personal journey. I was a younger son in a wealthy Philadelphia family. I was not concerned with the Revolutionary War because I was a child at the time. I wanted to marry this woman from a wealthy family but my proposal was refused because I was the younger son. I felt a lot of repression in this life and remember arguing with my father in a beautiful wood paneled room with a large rectangular wooden table. I left Philadelphia and went out West to live a more authentic life. I'm not sure how far West I got, but I was a sort of trapper, trader and later a small rancher. I think I married a spanish woman in this life and we had a family. I died of natural causes.

4. 1800s a man in United States, Native American reservation. I think as a result of my "repressed" Philadelphia upbringing in my previous life, I somewhat idolized the Native American freedom. Unfortunately, I was reincarnated on a reservation. I don't know where. Our cabin (yes, cabin, not native american structure) had a dirt floor. It seemed like there was dust everywhere. My family was very quiet. It seemed like no one talked let alone laughed. I feel like I walked into a river when I was a teenager and shot myself in the head with a pistol. This was in the middle of the day and I felt it was the most powerfully spiritual thing I could do. I felt I became one with the sky.

5. 1800s/1900s a man in the United States, Tennessee or Pennsylvania. Coming back from a suicide lifetime is definitely a struggle. I became a miner and worked hard in the mines. Ironically, I had hated the dust on the reservation so much and now I would be covered in a black dust everyday. I married and had a family, but I don't think I talked to my family much at all. I was very quiet in this life. I just worked hard and did the right thing. I died in my early 50s of lung disease.

6. 1900s a man in the United States, Kansas. I paid off my karma from the suicide so I was a happy man in this life if a bit of a wide eyed innocent. Maybe I was a rube, but I was eager as a puppy dog. I feel my mother on the native american reservation was also my mother in this life although now she was much happier. I enlisted in WWII as a teenager. When I went to the military I was in awe of the size and organization of the army. I really felt as if I was a part of something bigger and better than myself. I died in europe in a foxhole with gunshot wounds to the chest and stomach. Maybe it was karmic for my mother that I died at the same age as before, but this time it wasn't her fault because we had a close relationship.

7. 1900s/2000s a woman in United States, Chicago. This lifetime. :) My family are all "new" souls to me. As you can see, I haven't been a woman for a long time so that has been a bit of an adjustment.

~razza~
 
My lives in review...OK here goes--the ones I can remember anyhow...lol :D

1) A life as a young girl (age 7 or so) in Stone Age Europe-- no names come to mind.
2) A gentleman of some wealth in Rome (one of its cities on the Mediterranean...Hurculaneum perhaps...not sure on locale)--no names associated with this one, either.
3) A gentleman (definitely wealthy) in Tudor England (time of HenryVIII)--I believe I was Henry the VIII.
4) A British naval rating (simple seaman) around the time of Lord Nelson--I bleive my name was Jamie MacPherson that life.
5) A Creole man living in New Orleans shortly before and during the Civil War. Only the name Pierre comes through clearly--not sure of last name though this it might have been Marchant or Marechant.
6) Charles Herbert Lightoller, Second Officer of RMS TITANIC--am deinitely sure of the name

Other than the current life that is about it.
 
wow. this is pretty much what i was talking about in a thread i just posted today called 'timelines'. my personal one contains 22, so this could take a while :)

1) an egyptian servant (possibly to Cleopatra, or around that time)

2) Greek Commoner in 1200 BC

3) Related to Buddha in some way or another (possibly seregant mother, or servant from the palace days) 580-490 BC

4) Roman Empire commoner (i'm also looking into a connection to Caesar, but it feels more like a short lived sex affair, or nothing at all) 100-42 BC

5) Greek Empire Prostitute 500's AD

6) Living in Italy as a housewife/commoner 900's AD

7) Mayan Princess 1000-1200 AD (this life is particularly one that i have been affected by as of recent, and in this life. I was 11 or 9 when i was ritually slaughtered, as many young girls were raised to be. But instead of seeing it as glorification, as many Mayans did, i was a coward and it was a terrifying experience. i actually relived the event a few days ago in meditation, and it was horrifying.)

8)Mayan Queen Priestest Directly following the last life (in this one, i performed the ritual slaughter of young princesses, and this is a specific life i am very ashamed of)

9) Russian Soldier 1200's AD

10) European Royalty (possibly a prince?) 1400's AD

11) Irish Woman Commoner Later 1400's

12) Black Plagued/starving man 1500's

13) Early 1600's astronomer

14) 1600's writer/Playwright- not specifically well-known, but publicly acknowledged

15) English Daughter of Lord earlier to mid 1700's

16) English Convict sent to Australia later 1700's (this is more of a feeling, and not quite confirmed...)

17) Pioneer Man Late 1700's Early 1800's (I have a feeling of close relations with indians, specifically new mexican area ones... so i'm guessing that this was the life i formed this relation. I also died at age 23 or 26, so this was a relatively short time)

18) Mary Todd-Lincoln 1818-1882 (this is a lifetime that i have recently acknowledged, and although i had always had a feeling of close relation and love towards Abe Lincoln, who i also beleive was reincarnated into JFK and then a close friend of mine in this lifetime, i was a bit taken back by reading a bio about Mary and finding how scarily related we are. Some things that immediately came to mind was my slight dislike towards Kentucky for no reason i was aware of, personality and look a like traits, and many more. I am pretty sure that i was once her, but you never can be positive.)

19) a Late 1800's, Early 1900's non-famous actress (this life has some relation to the titanic... but i have yet to dive deeper into that feeling... i am not certain that i died there... i think if i was on the titanic, i lived. but maybe i was just affected by it...)

20) a life of fame i am not ready to mention, that only Sandra is aware that i have admitted to (although i don't blame her for possibly not beleiving me, as i often OFTEN doubt and hope it didn't happen myself) :o

and last but not least...

21) Elese- (1963-1988) in this lifetime, i was raised in northern california by my mother, who prior to my birht as an only child, was a murderer. She died at my age of 8, and later became my best friend for nearly 8 years in my current incarnation... after her death, i lived with my father for a while and then moved in with my grandparents and lived a life as an awkward social lite type (following my last life in the spotlight), turned hippie/drug addict/groupie not after long. This is one of the first lifetimes i discovered... and i am currently going to inquire on a link to possibly knowing a specific band (that is relatively a bigger one in the 70's, but not that well known)... and other aspects.

so that is my timeline.... my lifetimes have been pretty exciting, yet totally exhausting... and this life is proving to being the same!
 
Here are the lives I've managed to sort out, identify or put time periods to (in parentheses is the sex of the container):


Pre-history: (Male) High Priest of the Temple of Belial in Atlantis

circa 0 AD/BC: (Male) Involved in the Roman occupation of Judea at the time a certain carpenter was executed

10th century Germany: (Male) King Heinrich the First (first high king of germany, very proud of my son, Otto, he was the Holy Roman Emperor)

late 15th century Spain: (Male) Involved in the Spanish Inquisition

17th century Italy: (Female) a life in exile, ran away from home due to religious differences

18th century Italy: (Male-castrato) sang soprano in the church choir

late 18th/early 19th century Scotland: (Male) very young military drummer, only a couple of brief memories evoked by playing the snare drum-I have a feeling that I died in my first battle.

19th century Austria: (Female) another exile, ran away from home in this life, too.

20th Century Germany (Male) Nazi

20th/21st Century America: (Female) exiled again, have already run away from home once, and planning to do so again.


This was a helpful exercise...I'd never looked at what I know all together like this and I definitely see a clear pattern. With the exception of my life as a male singer and the one I call the little drummer boy, all of my male lives that I've identified have been involved in something awful.

And all of my female lives have involved in my leaving my home and going somewhere else to pursue what was important to me and to be myself.
 
This is a very interesting thread and I would love to read briefly about everybody's lives, because even if you can find the same information elsewhere on this forum, it's very scattered.

I want to stress that my recollections are not certain. Some I believe quite strongly in and others are just intuitive guesses. But here goes:

- life in China, don't know when (I just had a dream in which I was looking for the sea shore and told myself "these were the most horrible 20 hours of his/her life")

- life in Ancient Egypt as a man, a black vizier or something like that (maybe during the Middle Kingdom)

- life in Roman times in Southern Europe, I probably worked for the army (I had a dream about witnessing a crucifixion)

- life as a rebellious peasant man in Estonia (Saaremaa), probably in the 13th century or a bit later

- life on the Orkney Isles as a little girl that drowned in the 15th century

- life in Germany in the 16th century as a woman (?), got beheaded by antibaptists in Münster

- life as a male puritan in the 17th century, I was born in England, but sailed to New England, no family

- life as a fairly rich lady in Ireland (Waterford) in the 18th century, unhappy marriage, I probably know my name and who I was

- life as a little girl in Sweden in the beginning of the 19th century

- life as a rich, Southern belle during the Civil War era in the U.S. (but lived also in Belgium as a child), I probably know my name and who I was

- life as a colonalist English man, moved to South Africa; at the end of the 19th century/beginning of the 20th

- life as a Parisian Jewish artist woman (not famous), also during the WWII, I was taken to a concentration camp, but I believe I survived

- unhappy life as a young black woman in Brooklyn, NYC (born in North Carolina), I was born in the 1950s and died at the beginning of the 1970s (I might know my name, but I don't know who it was)

I have clues of many other lives too, but they are not clear enough to write down. If somebody has had lives in the same places during the same eras, I would love to share experiences!

Karoliina
 
This is part of the story I submitted to the group I belong to for those of us who have had past lives in the Shoah; some of the names which didn't come to me through dreams or regressions may just be placeholders till I find the real names, if I ever do. I also neglected to mention the young man Rudolf, who gave us water once a day on our hideous journey East, barely more than a boy, probably one of those who wore the Nazi uniform but who was forced into it and didn't believe in the rhetoric. I don't know if he were in the camp as well and used his position to smuggle extra food and blankets and things to Oda and her friends.

I was a young woman named Oda Estermann, born 15 April 1926 in Berlin. My father ran a chocolate store, and my mother Mathilde was a horrible woman, preferring my younger brother Fritz, born in 1929, over myself and my beautiful older sister Hänne (Hännchen), whom I believe is my dearest and oldest friend in this lifetime. Hännchen and I were not exactly the best of friends growing up. She was born 8 April 1923. At about age six or seven, two other children my age come to live with us: Lorelei Radonska, a presumably orphaned girl of German descent but who lived in Poland, and Mark O'Connell, who was also an orphan, born in Scotland, one of the few native-born Jews there. After Krystallnacht a bunch of us were sent into Switzerland; I went with Mark and Lorelei, and our Russian friends Igor and Mikhaila, a brother and sister, also came. My sister Hännchen came too, but didn't live with us. Our parents and Fritz stayed in Germany, presumably having been picked off of the streets while we were hiding in the house during some sort of round-up.

In 1941, Lorelei begins to miss her native country very badly, and against everyone's better judgment, we leave Switzerland, go back into Germany, discover a young boy, maybe 6 or 8 years our junior, hiding in our old house (Fridl), take him with us so he won't be discovered, and somehow make it safely into Poland. I believe we were hiding in the Hotel Polski, for all of my dreams involving Polish involve a hotel sheltering a lot of refugees, and we must be very careful not to attract attention or to let the authorities know what's going on in that hotel. In the hotel with us are two Israeli men, a woman named Helena, and a woman posing as Lorelei's aunt. [I just knew we were in the Hotel Polski when I first read about it years later; it matched exactly the type of place I'd dreamt about. That famous picture of the young boy holding up his hands was taken after the hotel was finally raided.] During the roundup by the Nazis in 1943, Mark, Lorelei, Fridl, and I manage to escape and are somehow smuggled into Holland, where we hid for six months in an apartment. We also may have been taken into Belgium for six months after that. During this time, we run back into Igor and Mikhaila; I don't remember how they had come to leave Switzerland, or if they had been in the hotel with us.

We were arrested and deported rather late in the War, on a train going back to Switzerland; we were apprehended in Vichy France, although Fridl managed to escape over the border, unseen during the chaos that followed. Lorelei was taken away as soon as the doors opened when we arrived; someone saw how beautiful she was and dragged her off; she was raped and forced to work as a prostitute or sex slave. We found some of our old friends in the camp and made some new ones as well; our Catholic neighbor Dorchen was there as a political prisoner, as well as my best friend Ilse, who had been caught while in hiding. Our Lutheran neighbors the Marxes are also there, all three in different places in the camp; Dorchen "informed" on the daughter, Elsa, a girl we had always despised, to try to perhaps lessen her punishment by cooperating, never dreaming what fate lay in store for her, Elsa, and Ilse, who was captured and deported at the same time. Mikhaila was burned alive maybe a week after our arrival.
 
Continued:

(The Hungarian sisters we made friends with were Ilona [Ica], Doróttya [Dóra], Éva, Marisa [or Mariska?], and Rózsa; Bettchen was a strong-spirited girl from Chemnitz, Germany, who came to the attention of the murderers in charge and got her an elevated position which enabled her to be treated like a human being and to help her friends, by getting them good jobs in indoor quarters and by bringing them back decent food; Erma was a very emaciated girl in our quarters, who arrived in the same early transport as Bettchen, who, through all of the trauma, had become psychosomatically mute, but for being able to say her "name," i.e., the number on her arm.)

The Nazis’ end is at hand, and we all must hide to avoid being taken on death marches. During one of these mass exoduses, we happen to be standing near Frau Marx, who is in a different section from us as well. We all catch sight of the formerly proud and haughty Elsa walking out; Frau Marx tries to grab her daughter, whom she hasn’t seen since before they were arrested, but can’t hold onto her or reach her because of the crush of the skeletal crowd. Frau Marx stays with us and mothers us. Herr Marx was in the same barracks as Mark and Igor, but refused to hide in the hospital with them, and so ended up on the same march as his daughter, in the mens’ column. I also happen to see my estranged older sister Hännchen marching out; she sees me too and manages to slip off. She heard about us leaving Switzerland, and tried to follow us into Poland; the moment she crossed the border into Poland, she was arrested, not being as lucky as we were. We aren’t together for very long, but in the short time we do have together, we finally reconcile. I try to follow Hännchen out on another march shortly afterwards, but I am discovered and sent back to the camp. I never see my sister again. She ends up at Bergen-Belsen with Elsa, Willy, and our Hungarian sisters’ older brother Kazi, though unlike those three, she didn’t survive very long after liberation. She died on 3 May 1945 of typhus, but at least she was free.

Those of us who remain are several times led out to begin death marches, but each time we are turned around; there must be fierce fighting in the area, and they don’t want to get caught in the middle of it. We also may be loaded onto icy cattlecars, but they are soon abandoned and we are driven back into camp. They are driving us mad with this constant game of taking us away but then taking us right back. During these last days before they flee the camp, there is an Aktion in the barracks I have been staying at. Little Rózsa is taken by some strangers to another part of camp, presumably to be hidden and protected because she is so young and so she won’t be taken away; Erma can easily evade a death march or this roundup by lying on top of all of the dead bodies and pretending to be one herself, so emaciated is she; and Dorchen, Bettchen, Ica, Dóra, and Eva are off at their assigned jobs. Marisa and I manage to crawl under one of the pathetic Pritschen (lice-filled flimsy planks masquerading as our beds) and evade being noticed as the Nazis come in and kill the remaining prisoners. We are liberated not long after.

Lorelei, Erma, and I are very sick and have to be in the hospital for several months, but we recover. Lorelei has fallen in love with a Jewish Norwegian named Søren who has come to the camp with the liberating Russians; he may be in the Army, maybe the Red Cross. They get married in a simple ceremony before she leaves the camp-turned-rehabiliation centre and live in Norway (we visit her and she visits us once each) till she dies of what could only be called a permanently broken spirit and heart in the Spring of 1947. The Szilard sisters, our Hungarian friends, go back to their hometown of Csorna, Erma returns to wherever she came from, and Bettchen goes home to Chemnitz, soon renamed Karl-Marx-Stadt. Dorchen, Ilse, Mark, Igor, Frau Marx, and I return to Berlin; amazingly our three houses are still standing and have not been gutted by bombs, fire, or war, nor have new families moved into them. Igor, Mark, Ilse, and I live in my old house, Dorchen lives either across the street or several houses down in her house (her parents are presumably dead), and Frau Marx goes to her house, also on our street, waiting for any word of Elsa or Willy. Igor’s best friend Ilya comes to Berlin after the War too, and can’t believe that Igor wants to go back to Russia. He is too anguished over the loss of his sister and his parents, and disappears into his homeland. It isn’t long before we never hear from him again; he very well may have been thrown into the GULAG and died in that kind of concentration-camp. Or he may have lived, been rehabilitated, but died like Lorelei, of a permanently broken spirit. Ilse, Mark, and I go to Switzerland in November of 1945, and find Fridl there in the house Mark, Lorelei, and I lived in during the early War. Mark and I are married in 1947, and adopt Fridl, though he is by no means young enough to be our child. We love him too much to let him be turned over to Social Services because he has no family left.

In 1949, Mark, Ilse, Fridl, and I leave Stein, Switzerland, for Australia, where we happily live until I die in 1953, giving birth to my only child, Samuel, who lives. I drank Mikhaila’s drugged drink in the camp, because it was her first time to menstruate and we wanted to let her have that experience instead of having it taken away by drugs designed to thwart that natural process. It must have had a bad effect on me, for I was unable to have a child with Mark for all of that time. I let my life be taken from me too easily; I survived a camp only to die in childbirth?
 
Whew, you all remember sooo much! Wonderful! I liked reading everyone's responses!

Here is a breakdown of who I know I was and some hunches that I have:

Ancient:
Sumer, Mesopotamia. I feel that I may have been a man. Who knows how many lives we all had in these ancient times!! I just wish I could remember some of these lives. Ziggurats are strangely familiar to me. I know I have seen one!

Egypt: This is just a feeling. I have always been so interested in Ancient Egypt, mummifying and pyramids (I don't know if I was around during the making of them in the old kindgom, though). I esecially like the times of the Armarna Revolution--especially the freedom and naturalism in art during that time.

Greece: I feel I've lived there and maybe Rome, but I do believe that I loved greece more. I kind of dislike Rome, and how they revolve around the city of Rome, less toward the people. Ancient Greek art strikes a chord with me. Especially the sculptures. Rome, I just get a kind of strange feeling, a cold feeling, like there should have been more emphasis on the people of Rome rather than Rome itself. That is the big difference between Ancient Greece and Rome in my eyes.

Medival Times
I don't know where I lived during these times. I like Gothic style churches, but no real memores from the times.
Except the black plague during the later part of the dark ages, I can picture these times in my head. Really disturbing feeling.

India
I know I have lived in India as a woman, maybe twice as a woman. I have had memories of worshipping a golden god, and saw my face, which resemebled mine, especially my eyes. They still have the same golden tone. I do believe I like this life a great deal. I have no idea of the time. I have also seen myself as a woman (same one?) sweeping the floor, I was kind of overweight and had a long black braid. Maybe I was older. I have a strong pull toward Eastern religions and decorations, the people, music, ahhh I just love India.

Jungle
I have some separate memories of living in a Jungle, I don't know if these memories are from the same life or not. I believe I was a man in this life. I have heard the world Bolivia, but also get a strong India feeling. I saw myself as a man riding an elephant through the jungle, I was possibly logging. In another flashback, I saw myself going though the jungle up to a hut that was on stilts, climbing the ladder, and entering a room full of men (elders) smoking something.

Native American (most likely)
I have had some flashbacks of this life. First, I was a little girl leading an Apaloosa horse. I heard my mother scream "Hurry up, Littlemoon!!" and I looked up, and realized that I was on some type of trail/road with my people, the leader was up front. I was a little girl of about nine. I also have seen myself in this life when I was possibly a teenager/young woman, lying in a field of clover and staring at the mountains in the distance. I liked this place.

Young Girl, unknown location
I only have one horrifying memory of this life. I was a little girl, looking up at a man who was choking me (only to realize it was husband in this life) and saying (I don't know if I was still asleep or said this outloud) "How could you have done that to me, I was only nine years old!" This man had on a red uniform, and dark hair/mustache and eyes.

England/Colonial America
some of these memories maybe be from other lives, but I don't know, especially the first one. I am just putting them all here. I will have to sort these out when I know more!

First memory: I was a woman at a party, I had on a large dress and my hair up. I knew there was another woman standing to my right, and there was red and gold floral wallpaper. A man (butler maybe?) swirled in front of me into the other room. There was fancy music playing.

I remember being a young girl, very poor, and I live with my old mother and father. I was happy in this life, I loved them very much. I had dark curly hair, and a green dress, brown raggedy shoes. I remember my brother was in the military, I think I still lived in England at this time, before I moved to America. I patched up his uniform. I was left-handed. I remember the day e died, the police came to the door and told us "Jack" was killed. I remember his funeral and throwing flowers into the hole before it was filled. I got my name, Mary DuPre. We lived in the country. I remember childbirth.

I remember my infant son dying, his name was Benjamin.

I later put all these memories together, and confirmed that I was this Mary DuPre, had an infant son named Benjamin whoe died, and had a brother named Jacques.

I dont' remember coming to America, but I know that I did.

Lately I have remembered more of this life, and even seen the plantation (picture) of where I lived. My husband's name was also Benjamin. I remember swinging on a porch swing, and a few other country memories.

Wow, I didn't realize that was going to be so long! There are a couple of other things, but my hands hurt. :D
 
What I think I can recall:

A life in Sumer?

A life in the Middle Ages somewhere in Europe? I get the impression that I was poor and died young (like a lot of other people back then).

A life in which I died in a sinking ship.

A life somewhere in Africa... possibly South Africa. I remember a dusty road in the hills and remember passing oxcarts and seeing a wild elephant walking alongside us. A European woman is with me. She is important to me but I don't know why or how.

A life in Missouri, not sure when it took place. I am a little girl, and we are leaving our home because a fire is raging in a small plot of woods nearby and we have no way to keep it away from our house. We round up our livestock and I get in the wagon with some pots, pans and toys. My older brother says we are heading to Kansas.

A life in the United States, beginning on or about 1910. I'm a boy and I like to visit an amusement park. My teacher has her hair in a bun and wears a dark dress with puffy shoulders. When I grow up I get a job in the movie industry in Los Angeles and this allows me to work both outdoors and on movie sets indoors. I have a nice house. I believe I ended up involved in the military in WW II and don't know what happened after that or how old I was when that life ended.

My present day life where I am born in the eastern U. S. to an archaeologist and his wife and grow up to be an ecologist who also hangs out with people in the film industry.
 
Here is a list of all my suspected past lives:
  • 1960s-1970s
    I think that I was a member of the artistic community and an active participant in the sexual revolution. As a child in this life I retained many ideas from those experiences. For example, nobody could ever convince me that sex was wrong or gross, even when I was at the age where we expect children to find it disgusting. I began drawing, painting and writing poetry at the age of 5-6.
  • A life as a hunter-gatherer woman in an early European tribe. Not much to talk about here, I just think I have distinct memories of long days spent grazing, with my face and hands stained red from berry juice.
  • A life as a prostitute murdered by Jack the Ripper. I'm not sure whether I was one of the known ones, or whether there were more that Scotland Yard never connected to the case. When I first heard the name Jack the Ripper, I immediately realized that he was not just a murderer, but that he murdered women. Many facts and ideas that are taught about the case don't ring true with me. For example, I don't think he was very tall. I always thought of him as an average, unassuming man. I seem to remember a peaked jawline and a beaky sort of nose. I think of him not as a butcher or doctor. I think he just sliced women open and removed random parts. I know of no reason to assume he knew what he was going for, other than what major organs like hearts and livers look like.
  • A life as a flapper. I think this one was cut very short. I guess it would have to be in order to have been a young woman again in the sixties! When I learned about prohibition in elementary school, I knew a lot of things that I shouldn't have. Like the fact that, in decadent and wealthy enough circles, the liquor was flowing more than ever. I knew about the idea of a hip flask under my skirt. Strangely enough, although I feel a connection to that era and life, I strongly dislike jazz music now. Modern jazz just doesn't feel right to me. It doesn't sound the way I think jazz should. It has lost a lot of the experimental, magical feel that it once had.
  • A life in Ireland during the reign of Elizabeth I. I think that I was a female pirate of sorts. A character along the lines of Grace O'Malley, though I see no reason to immediately assume that I was Grace herself. I'm not sure whether I actually lived a life on the high seas, or whether I merely knew and dreamed about such a life. In this life, I always thought of myself as Irish, even before i found out that I actually am of Irish immigrant descent.
 
The two I may have found through my first hypnitic regression (I say 'may because they don't feel like me tbh).

A kitchen maid, called Jane Stephens, aged 13, from the clothes I think it must have been 17th century, somewhere in England or Wales. She was taken away from her family from a hiring fair, and served in a big house.

Also, a sailor named John,who was English or Cornish, who sailed the mediterranean - especially to Cyprus, in the 18th century, who later married a girl called Mary and had a son, Albert.

From dreams I've had, I was a girl doing divination in a market during some kind of festival, she had long dark hair, and from the clothing I would think it was during the middle ages, she was telling fortunes by casting broken and intact knives - I don't know for sure if this was even just a particularly vivid dream, and I haven't found any record of anyone using that kind of tools in fortune telling - if anyone knows of anything similar, please let me know :0)
 
I can never be sure, of course, but here are some of mine from thoughts and suggestions I have.

*Some life in Ancient Greece. I think I may have been a woman at that time, since all the "boy things" that used to go on (naked athletics and such) don't mean a lot to me. However, I do get a sense of certain activities, and the Greek Myths have meant a lot to me since I was young.

*A life as someone important in a tribal community. I'm sure I was male for this life, and probably some kind of "holy man". However, I'm not sure of the country - although I think it may have been pre-Christian Britain. I think I was quite tall and impressive, but I also can't help thinking that my position required me to be celibate. I may have died of some unfortunate infection, from a wound or illness.

*Some life in the Middle East, possibly pre-Islam but probably not. I don't know if I was male or female. I get the sense of having access to the house of someone quite rich, but this might just mean I was a servant of some kind.

*At least one life in Europe, possibly France but more likely somewhere like Denmark. I was probably a man for this life and lived in the city.

*My most vivid life, my previous one, as a dark-haired man (possibly mixed-race and adopted) who lived from some time in the 1890s (I actually got an instinctual birthdate of 1898, which might have caused some problems with joining the army, but that's no different from other boys of that time) to the early-mid sixties, possibly 1964. As I've said before, I fought in WW1 and may have been disabled during that time. After that, I think I got into parties and became a heavy drinker and drug user. I think I ruined my health because of this, and I may have done some other things to be ashamed of during that time. There might have been some other unpleasant experiences during that life, but I think I eventually died due to my ill-health. That whole life might be why I've been reincarnated as this physically robust and very cautious person.
 
I am a mouse among giants

Oh, to have all that recall! My past life memories are small, tiny pieces of lives, I don't remember any years, or any of my deaths, but I would love to find out more. Here is what I do know(think, feel?): The earliest I remember I think I am a druid priest, but that thought came about later as I was exposed to other media that "clicked" with my memory, which is this: It is night, and I am in a long double line of people, we are chanting, but I don't remember what, we are carrying a naked, bound woman over our heads, and we are walking up this ramp made of wood and rope. There are torches burning so we can see the way. This ramp turns as it is ascending at least three times, up, up, up. We get to the end of the ramp and throw this woman into a giant wicker-type structure shaped like a man. This "man" is at least 50 feet tall. It is almost filled with people, men and women, who are to be sacrificed ( to who, or why, I have no idea). We are in a long procession, hundreds of people going up the ramp, then down again. I remember looking up at the wicker man and seeing all these people alive inside (arms and feet sticking out). There wasn't any pity in me, or hatred, I was doing "good", this was the right thing for whatever reason. Then someone set it on fire. I don't recall watching it burn, I maybe just knew it was going to burn. This was when I was four, many many years before I had ever heard of the festivals where they burn a wicker man, and I have never really looked into that, perhaps I fear what it will bring up?
This next memory may have been a past life, or maybe I just saw a perfume commercial or something: I am in my bedroom, a grown woman, I am walking outside to my balcony to scan the sea for my husband, who I am worried about. I am wearing a long flowing white nightgown(perfume commercial?) I feel very French. I am barefoot, the floor is made of hardwood and is cold. It is gray and overcast outside, windy, but not stormy. We live right on the sea, almost like on a cliff, and I can see when my husband is coming home, but he is late, and I am worried. This one is so real, the emotions, how cold the floor is, that I think it is real, but I have no idea what the French coast looks like, I just went to google to see if there WAS a French coast, geography is not my subject. That is all, I don't know what else happened.
Then my "holocaust" memory, which can be found under the holocast thread. I have a feeling that this was a short life, and it doesn't affect me nearly as deeply as many others who lived and died in the holocaust.
I have always said I have a Victorian Heart, and I think perhaps my happiest life was in the late 1800's. The closest thing I have to a memory about this time is that once I was reading a fiction book, and it described a knickknack table during that time. It was describing all the pictures on the table, how it looked like they crammed twenty little framed pictures on a table not two feet wide, and as I am picturing this table, my minds eye opened up to the rest of this living room, and I could see the mantle, the puctures hanging on the wall, the carpet, wallpaper, windows, etc.. but only the table was described in the book. I have always been very drawn to the (chivalry?) of that era.
I was never taught reincarnation, I come from a family of Southern Baptist preachers, and when I talk about the subject with others, I tell them that I believe in it because of my own memories, not any other reason. It is SO refreshing to find others that know it is true, and that I don't have to defend my beliefs to.
 
OK, here's some of the impressions I get:

Ice Age Europe. I've had a very strong attachment to the paleolithic since very early childhood. Not that I dislike people, but especially when I'm camping, I get a melancholy feeling that the world is too filled up with people, and we've drowned out and overwhelmed all the other beings that we used to share it with earlier. I still have the same dreams from childhood, of standing on a ridge overlooking a vast plain full of animals like wooly rhinos, mammoths, etc.

Ancient Anatolia, perhaps Hittite (my icon is a Hittite disk). I think I may have been someone who had diplomatic or trade interaction with the Egyptians. I've always had a fascination/repulsion of the ancient Egyptian deities and civilization, finding their excess and lavishness both mesmerizing and overwrought.

Roman Empire. I have the feeling of more than one life in the empire, one more in the heartland, but not Rome itself, and the other perhaps as a Celt, maybe in Britain, having to deal with the Romans.

Scandinavia, especially the Viking period and the raids on the British Isles. Of all times and places, I'm most drawn to utmost northern Europe about 1,000 years ago. I may or may not have been on one of the 'Vinland' voyages to North America.

Mongolia. Although I'm ambivalent about horses, I have a strong sense of being part of the medieval Mongol invasions westward, perhaps into the Caucasus mountains. If I could have a free round-trip ticket to anywhere in the world, I'd head to Mongolia.

Conquistador. I think I had several lives relating to the conquest of the Americas by the Spanish. I believe I was Spanish during all of them, starting out as a ferverent believer that the conquest was 'saving' the Indians, and ending up seeing the horrible abuses of the process.

Sailor, perhaps English or American, 1700s to mid-1800s. I get a chill every time I see an old-style large sailing ship. In this life, I have a great respect, tinged with a deep-seated fear, of the power of the ocean. I think I may have been someone who was a kind of ship's carpenter.

Russia, during the period of the Russian Revolution and WWI. I may have been a petty noble. In this life, I'm awfully liberal, but have a strange sense of loss relating to the morally bankrupt, repressive old regime of Russia.

Germany, WWII. I'm almost certain that I was a true-believer Nazi. What I don't know is if I made it out of that war or not. In this life, which started in 1964, I did end up living in Paraguay, where a lot of the Nazis fled after the war. I spent a year there as a high school exchange student.

Having read so many other great accounts, and some of the detail that people have managed to glean, I'm inspired to try in tease more detail out of these various experiences.
 
hi, everybody! this is my first post. i'm only now beginning to investigate my impressions of my past lives, so they're pretty cloudy as compared with everyone elses. a lot of them revolve around my fears/hang-ups. my mother is clairvoyant (et c.), so she has been helping me to put the pieces together. i'm still a bit of a skeptic, against what is turning out to be my better judgement, hah. anyway, here goes:


i was a man in southeast asia. i lived alone and had a very quiet life. i see myself as being much older in this life. i must have lasted longer than my others. i believe that i made canoes or something like that. this is my newest discovery, haha.

i was an orphan girl in eighteenth century england or france. i'm having a hard time figuring out which, exactly. i was in a large city. i just finished spending a year in paris and did not get any of the twinges that i have gotten in other places. so maybe it was england. my best childhood friend from my present life was in this one with me. i think that i may have starved to death. in this life, i have a real drive to take care of animals and people that no one else wants. dogs with three legs, babies from the third world. i think that i have a subconscious connection to them. i have very few lives that have lasted to old age. right now, i'm 21, and for the past few years i have had incredible anxiety, like my soul is just waiting for me to die. it's odd - but becoming less and less surprising.

i was a man in maybe tudor england. i haven't done a great deal of research about this, but i have a really intense fascination with all things king henry the eighth, elizabeth I, et c. i visited hampton court this past christmas with my mother and her companion. they both have had lives there at different times, so it has a certain meaning for them. this was my first visit. there is a maze in the garden and i got us through it in less than a minute with absolutely no hesitation, at a breakneck pace. no errors; i knew exactly where i was going. i didn't realize i was doing it at the time, but when we got out, my mother and her companion were creeped out. i seem to have been there before. however, i don't know when that maze was designed/completed. maybe i designed it? i have a rather artistic bent in this life.

i was kidnapped from my family's tent as a little girl maybe in medieval europe. i think that i managed to survive and get away from my captors, but lived a pretty impoverished life. in this life, i have a real complex about being aware of my surroundings. i need to be absolutely secure. also, when i was in elementary school, i liked to write stories all the time. one of the stories that i wrote was about a girl being kidnapped from her family's tent and forced into a life almost of prostitution? kind of a weird story for an elementary school aged child to make up. i only just recently remembered this story and connected it to the life.

i was a man during world war I or II. i can't figure out which. i died in battle, in a trench, freezing cold with a bullet in my right leg and my head. i was very young. i think that i may have snuck into service. i think that i was french in this life, but when i did regression, i was german/prussian. my father was a printer and also my father from this life. we didn't like eachother very much. i believe that i ran away. i might have used the military as an escape from my problems at home. i have great, ridiculous respect for the military and get chills down my spine at battlefields. especially anything involving unknown soldiers. i think that i was a soldier many times and just haven't uncovered these other lives.

i would like to flesh some/all of these lives out more, but i have a fundamental problem with regression. i can't make myself relax enough to do it! i get fidgetty and uncomfortable trying to meditate. i think this is related to my needing to be secure at all times. if anybody has any tips, i would really appreciate them.
 
Cott, wow i wish i could find out about all of my other lives, but seems for some reason unkown to me right now i am stuck on one life.

I find it interesting you said that about dieing early in lives. i died in my late 30s in the life i know alot about, and if i went on to live a hippy life as i know i must have, i would also have died in my 30s. which could explain my fear of growing up. all my life i was never in a rush to age. now when i say growing up i dont mean responsibility etc. i mean actually aging. i always tried to enjoy my time, and never wish it away, and now, im 19 i feel like my life is almost over. but really its just begun, but i thought it could be becuase i have died in my 30's in my past 2 lives that i think that might happen again. And then on the other hand, I dont think i would mind dieing maybe in my 40s and giving it another go. i dont know.

is there something to dieing early? did i accomplish what i needed to, or did i just screw up and need to start over?

but anyways, interesting lives, cant wait to see what else you discover.
 
Here is the list of my suspected past lives:

1. A man on an ancient Greek island. There was a volcanic eruption on that island and I was one out of 22 survivors.

2. Man in eastern Siberia

3. Man in Peru, somewhere near Lake Titicaca, perhaps around 600 AD. I´ve had an impressive flashback of the mountains.

4. Danish viking who sailed to East Anglia around the year 1000. Spent the rest of his long life in England.

5. Irish woman in the 12th century. I was an oracle and a very respected woman, although not particularly wealthy. I was probably raped and murdered in this life in my late 30´s or early 40´s.

6. Possibly a life as a cathar or life connected to them. The fortress of Montségur just impresses me heavily.

7. A 13th century life as a Spanish noble man. Lived in several countries in Europe and Middle East, joined the Knights Templars and protected the pilgrims during the last crusade. Was involved in the battle of Acre (Akko), when the Christians lost the Holy Land to the moslims.

8. A 15th century life as an English noble woman and heiress, Anne Beauchamp, Countess of Warwick. Her husband was Richard Neville, aka the Kingmaker, who died in the War of the Roses. Her two son-in-laws, who were brothers, practically stole her enormous estates after Richard Nevilles death. She was declared dead, but she fought for her property for the rest of her life. BTW, one of her son-in-laws was Richard of Gloucester, later on Richard III, king of England.

9. Life in the 17th century. Something has happened to me on the Charles Bridge, Prague in 1632, when the Swedish tried to conquere the Old City of Prague during the 30 years war. I´m not sure if I was a Swedish soldier or just protected my home town.

10. Late 19th century, early 20th century. An immigrant life. It is hard to say where I came from, but I might have been jewish. At least in the 1920´s I lived in New York. I or someone close to me was called Paternak (a last name). Paternak had a furniture store in New York.

11. 20th century life as a African-American woman. Born not later than early 1940´s. Moved to New York with her daughter to escape a violent husband from some Southern state of the USA.

12. 1967- My current life as a Finnish scientist and mystic...
 
Hippy16,


I also never really gave thought to a 20's, 30's, or 40's life until a recent dream I had that seemed to be in the 30's-50's. or 40's-50's. I am much more drawn to the 60's. When I was younger one of my teachers said my belief system was like that of the the hippies. Maybe that's part of the reason I feel connected to it. And when I was younger 60's stuff was making a come back. BUT it seems to be more than that. Part of the lifestyle I'm really drawn to, and when I listen to the music, it gives me a sort of nostalgia. And not just nostalgia to that part of my life when it was making a come back. It feels older than that. It feels like I have nostalgia for a time I don't recall in this life, and not just that- it feels like I am listening to ghosts. In a way, I am, since those people and that time is past, but music from older eras do not make me feel that way. I don't feel their spirit or that ghost like feel to them as I do with 60's music.


Anyway, I really like your memories.
 
What an insanely interesting thread. I think I must have read each and every post over at least two times, just thinking...The other day, before I found this thread, I had been trying to put my past lives that I can remember things of in a timeline similar to everyone else's, but it was so difficult, and I'm still so confused about the countries in which I think my past lives must have taken place. Like that main past life I had, which I'm sure was my last one, because I can remember it the most...I kept on thinking that it happened in Wales, but now I'm not too sure. And it bothers me. But, anyway, I'll attempt now to put my past lives into some sort of list, or timeline, or something:


1.) I think I recall two separate past lives, occuring possibly as much as a century apart, as a woman living on the steppes of Stone Age Russia; and I think I might have even lived in Russia two or more times after that, in other lives, down through relatively early history


2.) I remember two separate lives in Biblical times, one as an Essene woman named Salome, and before that, as Rachel, the wife of Jacob, mentioned in Genesis, though a few other things that have to do with these two past lives, in particular, are beginning to make me feel slightly dubious, at least about Rachel, though the evidence behind me having been here seems more solid than weak...


3.) I lived another life as a woman in what I believe to be pre-Christian Viking times, in what might have again been Russia


4.) A life I lived in the relatively early Middle Ages, in which I was a kitchen servant to some unknown lord, whose assassination I witnessed


5.) I also have the slightest memories of some life, as a girl again - I somehow don't think that I've ever been incarnated as a man yet - in what might have been the late 1800's or early 1900's, possibly even in the very old house that I grew up in - but I died very young in that life...


I'm not sure if those are all my past lives, and like I said, I feel kind of dubious about a few things concerning the Biblical past lives, at least. I can discuss it later, if anyone wants to know. It's all so confusing sometimes. :confused:
 
Wonderful idea!


1. Last days I have memories that are I believe from Ancient Rome. I remember different buildings, especially temples. I believe I was a priestess, like vestal virgin (according to my dress). Nothing particular. Still investigating.


2. about 1200-1400. New Troki in Lithuania. I was a pupil of a pagan priest. I have a memory of one prince sitting above the well and splashing on me because I probably looked very gloomy.


3. about the same time, Eastern or Nothern Europe. I began as a priestess again but was abducted by an old warrior who made me his wife. I would never excused him for that, I think. Though I came to love with him at last I showed him coldness and even enmity. He was killed by private enemies and I did nothing to save him though I could. I'm very sorry for this now.


4. I was a man. I remember women who cast me off all the time. I was a monk, but it was the first life I didn't like to be the monk very much.


5. I was a rich woman in Tudor England. I have many interesting memories. I remember virginals which my mother presented to me when I was a little girl. It became my great friend for all the life. I remember different people in different situations. I remember Hampton Court and one castle I don't know where it was. I remember my arrival to London, and then - a picture of it. I remember Elisabeth I. I believe I was Mary, her sister. The greatest shock for me was the portrait of my husband. I've been trying to draw those eyes all this life!


6. I remember myself as a captain of tradeship. Probably I participated in Spannish attack on England as a young sailor. Our ship Falcon Blanco went down near Connemara. There I found my future wife. We lived in Dinaburg (now Latvia), then our house burnt down and we moved to my friend's. I drowned during storm at 60. We had two children and it was very happy life.


7. Times of Lui XIV. I was a woman from poor noble family and became a courtesan. But I feel so ashamed of it that I eventually went into cloister and - again - ended my life as a nun.


8. My memories let me think that I was a painter. I remember beautiful frescos. It may be France.


9. Earsten Europe. 1700-1800. Poor noble woman. Falling in love with one man but having to marry a stranger. And once again trying to come to love with my own husband. Alas! Three children and a very long life ended with madness, because I was not able to overcome my first love. Playing music the whole life.


10. 1800-1900 I believe I was Polish architect Francishak Yashchald.


11. I have memories about Japan life. But I can't say when it was. I just feel it was not long ago.


12. Two lives in America. Both as woman. 1) Not famous actress, died from abortion. The second one connected with American Japanese, robbery, martial arts. I think I was killed with a gun.


13. Life as a peasant girl, died young from pneumonia.


14. Present life - psychologist, from family connected with big politics and business. Practising pagan (ethnic) religion.
 
Hi Elis and thanks for sharing :)


You can remember so many lives! :thumbsup: It's interesting how it seems that faith is a red thread through most of them - why do you think that is?
 
Hi,


May be, it's because of lack of self-confidence and faith itself?.. And I've been trying to solve this problem?.. May be, it's not the only reason. Who knows? :rolleyes:
 
Hi Elis,


I don't think that living a religious life is a bad thing. I think it's admirable to devote your life to what you believe in. If there is a common thread through the lives I remember, it's probably a lack of faith. I seem to have always been resistant to religion.
 
I also admire living a religious life. I admire it so much that sometimes it's difficult for me to see that there can be something else in life. And it makes problems sometimes.
 
Perhaps, you have been seeking a more and more mature relationship with the Source of your being, an endeavor which has spanned the centuries. To achieve a mature understanding and love for the Source of all things may take many lifetimes and many different spiritual roles and cultures. Maybe that is our ultimate destiny.
 
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