Soulmates - so different yet so the same

[TheGlow]

I have only had that knowing connection with one person in my life. That feeling of being home and content when you are with them regardless of where you are or what is going on. In a few regressions I have seen he has been a loving spouse, in another a son. In this life he is a friend and colleague. A bit of a mentor.

However despite this treasured friendship I cannot say I would have befriended him as a close confidant if it weren't for the palpable bond felt from the beginning.

He's uninterested in personal growth or spirituality, he tends to be superficial, rude and critical of people, even ignorant. He really seems to try to keep people at arms length and expects the worst from everyone. It almost like he wants everyone to be bad so he can justify not letting his guard down.

I am the polar opposite. I know by feeling that deep inside even the worst of humanity there is a spark of divinity. The general population may be selfish and thoughtless but not truly bad just badly influenced by the world. I may not trust most people but I know deep inside we are all the same and yearn for peace, belonging, love and connection.

I generally wouldn't be so invested in a friendship with someone who saw the world so different yet with him there is no question. It's like I can see past all that crap to who he really is, the soul I know. This silly surface stuff is of no consequence to me except to show how weird our relationship is because if any other human displayed these qualities I would assume they were not a great candidate for friendship.

With him I see through it all and know he is not what he displays. He often says I know him better than he knows himself.
Tough outside fragile inside he just really doesn't handle the coldness of the world well so he tries to protect himself.

I'm curious if it's like this for others. I do have a few other people in my life I have seen in regressions. None have that palpable instant contentment effect on me, nor did I have any instant recognition with them.


Curious what other peoples experiences are with people you know from the moment you meet. Soul mates are you very alike? Or very different yet very alike? Do you know stuff you shouldn't?

 

[Spatz]

Curious what other peoples experiences are with people you know from the moment you meet. Soul mates are you very alike? Or very different yet very alike? Do you know stuff you shouldn't?

Oh I could really go on with some of this! I'll keep it manageable for now, with a little bit on my very best friend from high school.


I'll call her 'V'. We met through our parents, actually- not only were we friends immediately but my mother had mentioned, "I cant wait for you to meet V, I think you'll really like her!" Well, yes. I did!


We were thick as thieves for years, when you say you know your soulmate better than he knows himself, I know exactly how that feels and that's how this was. We shared everything and knew each other like the back of our own hands, finishing each others' sentences sort of thing!


But despite being so close, we're actually quite different people. Not every moment is magic, we can fight like no one's business and believe me I've been there for her absolute worst. We have a lot in common, but there are some big differences in our personalities that can be frustrating to the other. We don't always approach things in the same way, especially our issues. So while sometimes we're hard to tell apart, other times we're night and day, sun and thunder.


As for any past life relevance, we joked a lot about it when we were younger, but I haven't yet recovered anything or had hints as to the whens and whos of our past involvement, if any. I do subscribe to the idea of soulmates, there are those special people that I feel myself bonding to right away, in a mutual fashion. I also think that a lot of that isn't coincidence, and definitely can be (and usually is) due to some shared past life experience.


Awesome thread, I'm actually really looking forward to hearing some other stories on it, past life friendships and soulmates is probably one of my favorite subjects and I know some folks around here have some amazing connections to share.

 

[Eowyn]

I love this topic too!

Curious what other peoples experiences are with people you know from the moment you meet. Soul mates are you very alike? Or very different yet very alike? Do you know stuff you shouldn't?

I think this is a very interesting question. I've known people I've felt an instant connection with, but not always good. For me a soulmate is just someone I've had a close relationship in a previous life (or lives), and for some reason we have been together, but that doesn't mean everything we lived was perfect... so there might be unresolved issues between us, though not always.


Soulmates and I might have some things in common, but I think we kind of complement each other. I think that if it's true we're here learning something, they're just perfect for that work, as they know you well (even in an unconscious way), they know your weak spots. Sometimes they can be there and support and love you through all your life, and other times they're here just playing the role of the bad guy and bringing you to your limits. I've had soulmates killing me, and I suspect I've killed them too... We could be arguing all day long, but it doesn't matter, as they make you see and understand things, even when you don't want to see them. But at the end, like you say, it's like you can see beyond all that, and there is always an eternal love nothing can destroy.


I also feel the soul can't manifest the same way in the different lives we live. You can recognize them in different bodies, but just like it happens with us, our personality can be slightly different, and of course the circumstances are also different, so the relationship might change too. This makes it harder sometimes, but it's also fun, as that makes possible we can live many different experiences in different scenarios.

 

[tanguerra]

...With him I see through it all and know he is not what he displays. He often says I know him better than he knows himself....

I know exactly what you mean! I don't know if you've seen my thread on My friend X but it's a bit like this with us.


X says he doesn't think we're very alike, except we're the same age, same class, similar height and build, similar family backgrounds, similar occupation, many of the same interests, live in the same neighbourhood, same sense of humour, have the same circle of friends .... etc. etc He puts the main difference down to his hatred of jazz.


He drives me crazy, but I can't imagine how dull life would be without him in it.

 

[TheGlow]

I apologize for not replying sooner. I started reading tangguerra's link "my friend x" and sort of got swept away.


Spatz- you talk about V in a past tense. Have you lost track of each other or grown apart? I would love to hear more.


Eyowne- I would say I have had my life do a 180 since meeting my soulmate so completely understand what you are saying about them knowing your weak spots and being the perfect one to help us learn.


I have had a lot of hard lessons in my life. Always been kind and gentle to others but when my sm walked I to my life he shined a light on all my unfavourable components. Things about myself I didn't want to see and with anyone else I would have walked away to avoid the painful perspective shift that had to occur. Pretty necessary for growth but not fun.


He has lots to look at about himself LOTS still but is much more resistant. I can tell my influence seeps in but it does so drop by drop and it will likely take a long long time for him to assimilate it.


Tanguerra - I really have enjoyed reading about you and x.


I'm amazed at some of the past life knowledge you have.


I know the small amount I've gleaned for myself has really helped me deal with the intensity of feeling and connection with my sm. i wonder 1 thing.


My entire life I have had an ache in my heart like an emptiness. My sm made that pain go away. I think actually the scariest part of our friendship was that even with the drama I was so scared he was going to leave and my emptiness would return. He says I too filled the ache in his heart. Maybe that's why he was so mean. Trying to chase me away before he started counting on me being there for him. Thankfully we seam to have figured out a acceptable way to be friends even though we are both married to others.


Reading of you and x I wondered if you felt the longing disappear when x arrived and has it stayed gone?

 

[tanguerra]

Tanguerra - I really have enjoyed reading about you and x.


I'm amazed at some of the past life knowledge you have.


I know the small amount I've gleaned for myself has really helped me deal with the intensity of feeling and connection with my sm. i wonder 1 thing.


My entire life I have had an ache in my heart like an emptiness. My sm made that pain go away. I think actually the scariest part of our friendship was that even with the drama I was so scared he was going to leave and my emptiness would return. He says I too filled the ache in his heart. Maybe that's why he was so mean. Trying to chase me away before he started counting on me being there for him. Thankfully we seam to have figured out a acceptable way to be friends even though we are both married to others.


Reading of you and x I wondered if you felt the longing disappear when x arrived and has it stayed gone?

Some people are just completely hopeless at relationships aren't they? Even with all the practice in the world, they just never seem to get the hang of it! Of course, having past life associations, whether you remember them clearly or not at all, adds a layer of intensity to it - for good or ill. But, that doesn't necessarily make it any easier either.


'The longing' doesn't go away. I see X a bit less often these days. He's moved a little further away, not on my tram route any more and he doesn't seem to cycle much these days. His health has been getting a bit worse. With D gone, who was the social 'glue' in a lot of ways, we seem to catch up less often at events and parties and things. I'm also in a relationship these days and have less time to just hang out with the 'boys' in the 'hood than I used to.


But, I still make sure I catch up with him at least every couple of weeks because I love to hear what kooky ideas he's come up with lately and, yes, I just like see him because it makes me feel good to be near him. We exchange a lot of emails in the meantime. He'll send me something he thinks is funny or interesting, and I'll do the same.


Here is a recent example of what amuses X:





So, in short, 'the longing' doesn't go away, but is way less intense these days than it used to be, which is a great thing. I'm sure that all the work I did uncovering what the connections were has helped a lot. It's also very comforting to know that we will never, ever, be truly separated from one another, unless we choose to and I don't see that happening any time soon.

 

[tanguerra]

Just because you've known each other before and feel very close in this life doesn't mean you have to be the same person, have the same views or likes and dislikes. He is pessimistic and grumpy as you say, while you prefer to see the good in situations. That's great. You can't change people's fundamental nature, but you can set them an example and you will tend to meet in the middle somewhere if you just accept each other as you are rather than waste energy on disagreements that go nowhere anyway.


I guess his comment is his funny way of saying he feels a close connection with you? Who knows, maybe you had a previous life together when you were brothers or something and this is something that is in his subconscious somewhere?

 

[TheGlow]

Just because you've known each other before and feel very close in this life doesn't mean you have to be the same person, have the same views or likes and dislikes. He is pessimistic and grumpy as you say, while you prefer to see the good in situations. That's great. You can't change people's fundamental nature, but you can set them an example and you will tend to meet in the middle somewhere if you just accept each other as you are rather than waste energy on disagreements that go nowhere anyway.
I guess his comment is his funny way of saying he feels a close connection with you? Who knows, maybe you had a previous life together when you were brothers or something and this is something that is in his subconscious somewhere?

Good point. Well taken.


Btw my whole life I had this feeling I was missing my twin. Like a literal twin. When I met him I felt I found my twin and if he writes something and I let my husband read it he always thinks I wrote it. So I guess we are the same. cover face


It just makes my head want to explode when he says it right after we've been disagreeing for 20 minutes. .... Unless that's his way of saying he knows I'm right deep down under the grumpy exterior, things really are beautiful when he can force himself to see past the negative filter. That felt like a spirit guide truth.

 

[tanguerra]

I guess just take it as a compliment?

 

[Obie]

I have met 2 soul mates in this life. Both of whom are ex's. One of them is a stalker and I need to get a restraining order against him. Seriously. The other is a playboy who just can't commit. The playboy and I had a lot in common (life goals, enjoyed socializing, had a taste for the finer things in life). In terms of what we want out of life, etc. The stalker and I had a couple of common interests (nature, exploring new cities/places, museums, animals) but how he approaches relationships is very different from how I do. IDK what I am to learn from these two. And why they are polar opposites of each other but I have stuff in common with both.

 

[Mere Dreamer]

Oh, wow. I have so many stories. My best friends are both soul mates, never mind the rest of my less-connected friends who also fall into that general category. There has been a deluge of connections within the past few years.


I've remembered several lives with Mica, one of which she had dreamed, too. But we were friends for years before I became interested in reincarnation, and have saved each other's sanity in many ways since we first met.


She, too, tends to see the dark side of everything while I tend to focus on the light and hope. We balance each other in this way, and I honestly can't imagine being closer to anyone than to her. We trust and respect each other completely, and I can't imagine anything that could separate us (even death--she'd probably show up and haunt me).


The odd thing is that she has another soul mate (about as close as I am, though he tends to be depressive, even more than she is) who has been completely avoiding any direct connection with me for ... years? I think. The three of us have shared several lives that I can remember, and it's pretty clear we're all deeply interconnected. He and I exchanged a total of two emails and a few casual comments on an artwork before he firmly declined the offer of friendship. At first I was pretty hurt because he clearly wrote that he treasures and appreciates me very much. I could see that he has been deeply wounded, and I was desperate to help him heal ... but he won't let me closer.


I still think he might choose to come around someday. He's basically using Mica as a conduit for our connection right now, so I know almost as much about his life as she does. It's one of the strangest soul mate connections I've ever heard of, and I'm very curious how it will play out. More than anything, I want to find out if my sense of him is real, and I won't know that unless he lets me meet* him personally. *sighs* I'm patient. I can wait.


*(Uh, I mean "interact with". Technically, I've never met her, either, though we plan to change that this year.)


My other best friend was also recommended by a mutual friend. I interpreted one of his dreams before we met, and I was so on target that he thought the childhood friend who introduced us was pretending to be me for some complicated reason. When he figured out that I really was myself (Ha!) we quickly reached the point where we were talking on the phone constantly.


We're not good for each other in a "traditional" romantic relationship because our expectations are too different, but we balance each other very well as very close friends. He always calls me when he gets entangled in complicated situations, because he thinks I'm a genius. I tell him he's usually the one who figures it out, I just ask him the right questions.

 

[Axes]

Curious what other peoples experiences are with people you know from the moment you meet. Soul mates are you very alike? Or very different yet very alike? Do you know stuff you shouldn't?

the thing about my soulmate is... the entire timing and circumstances around our meeting are so... extraordinary that i can hardly get over it


we are in some ways very similar, and we often call each other twins, or brother and sister. in other ways, we are not similar at all. he seems much older, although we are close in physical age.


we met in a time in our lives where he was in need of someone who accepted him, and i was in need of someone who 'saw' me. i think if we had met sooner in this life, it could have been disastrous, because we were both different. it was all very deliberate, as if planned ahead.


my meeting him was accompanied by a dream, where i saw him in a different plane. this experience and the timing of our meeting are the only reasons why i started to believe in reincarnation.


sometimes i feel as if i have been waiting for him my whole life. as if i have always had a feeling of: there is someone else, someone like you. and just when i started to think it was all a scam, there he was. and i believe there are more 'like us'. i don't believe i will meet them in this life, though.


there is also a sense of: seperation is an illusion. i can never be separated from him, by anything or anyone. this gives me immense comfort, something i was always told i was supposed to get from my traditional christian faith, but never felt or got.


and it is not he himself that provides this comfort, but it is the whole context in which i met him.


i have never posted about this here, or told anyone about this. i find it unexplainable. and besides, i don't believe that personal experiences must be meaningful to anyone else than the persons involved.


and hm. the end.