Phrozen84 said:
@Chris R
Thank you so much. Your words are like music to my ears. It means so much to me that people who live miles away show you so much love and affection while people who see you everyday just ignore you for the way you look and constantly mock you ( which is why over the past year, I've spent more time indoors)
Hi Phrozen,
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time at the moment. It's true, people can sometimes be cruel and hurtful and life can be very difficult at times. This is most unfortunate and often painful. However, if you want to be able to find peace, happiness and love you won't find it by expecting everyone else to change and suddenly all start being nice to you and make your problems disappear. Life just doesn't work that way. This one doesn't. The last one didn't and neither will the next one. Annoying perhaps, but true.
The good news is, you are far more powerful than you think you are. By adjusting your own thoughts and beliefs you can begin to heal your own heart no matter what other people are up to or what is going on in the outside world.
You describe yourself as 'ugly' and you say others do too. But what is 'ugly'? There are always going to be people 'uglier' than you and there will always be people who are better looking than you. So what? The same is true for everyone. Some of the world's most beautiful people don't think they're beautiful and have self-esteem issues about their appearance. Strange but true. Some of the most wonderful people in the world are not considered conventionally beautiful are just amazing in so many other ways, their looks are just not an issue. People can be warm, funny, gentle, kind, smart, generous, interesting ... there are so many personal qualities more important than looks, aren't there? Surely a focus only on outward appearance is rather frivolous and shallow?
The British actor and comedian
Steven Fry hardly looks like Brad Pitt, but he is beloved by his fans all over the world and by all accounts is one of the nicest people you could hope to meet and certainly one of the funniest and most interesting. He suffers from bi-polar disorder and made a
documentary about it a while back which I recommend. He described his difficulties, the highs and the lows and the self-esteem issues about his looks. Interestingly he also spoke to other sufferers, some of whom could only be described as very beautiful, often very successful people, yet they all considered themselves to be ugly, worthless, stupid and so on at times when they were feeling 'down'. Their perception of themselves was startlingly different to the perceptions of others.
Long story short, you are not alone. There are all kinds of people in the world and nobody is 'perfect' so try not to worry so much. Just like everyone else, you are beautiful and you are loved and I hope you will learn to realise it soon and let go of negative and unpleasant thoughts about yourself and avoid negative and unpleasant people in your life.
