Present Family and Past Lives (merged)
- Thread starter annie s
- Start date
Welcome to the forum Annie
HI Annie,
Nice to meet you. You ask a very interesting question. I don't think there has been much research on the subject - and not a lot written about it. Although I do remember Carol Bowman mentioning that she had several cases but could not include them in her second book - due to length issues. If my memory serves me correctly.
I think another member a few years ago asked the same question. I will see if I can find it for you.
I am curious as to your interest in adoption. Are you adopted or are you thinking of adopting a child?
HI Annie,
Nice to meet you. You ask a very interesting question. I don't think there has been much research on the subject - and not a lot written about it. Although I do remember Carol Bowman mentioning that she had several cases but could not include them in her second book - due to length issues. If my memory serves me correctly.
I think another member a few years ago asked the same question. I will see if I can find it for you.
I am curious as to your interest in adoption. Are you adopted or are you thinking of adopting a child?
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reincarnation and adoption
I am interested in any connections because my husband and I have adopted four children. Two are grown and the youngest is 16. One son died 6 years ago and I have often wondered who was waiting to guide him. A few weeks before a beloved aunt passed away 2 years ago, she said she was visited by several family members who have already passed over. They told her not to be afraid, that it was a wonderful place to be and that they would be there for her. The ones she saw were all biological siblings. It made me wonder who my son would have met, biological relatives that he never knew in his life with us, or family members or friends from his life he had with us.
I believe we are all God's children so we are all related. But I wonder if that extends into past and future lives.
I am interested in any connections because my husband and I have adopted four children. Two are grown and the youngest is 16. One son died 6 years ago and I have often wondered who was waiting to guide him. A few weeks before a beloved aunt passed away 2 years ago, she said she was visited by several family members who have already passed over. They told her not to be afraid, that it was a wonderful place to be and that they would be there for her. The ones she saw were all biological siblings. It made me wonder who my son would have met, biological relatives that he never knew in his life with us, or family members or friends from his life he had with us.
I believe we are all God's children so we are all related. But I wonder if that extends into past and future lives.
adoption and reincarnation
Thank you Deborah for the link. The information there helped.
But I still wonder if there has been any more definitive research and documentation showing connections between people in adoptive families. Maybe that could be the next focus for some of the researchers like Carol Bowman. Our one daughter came all the way from Korea as an infant. A lot of Carol's research she reports in her books tell about how evident it is that people reincarnate into the same areas they left from their past life. I wonder how possible it would be for my daughter to have been connected to one of us in a past life having come so far to join us in this life.
Thank you Deborah for the link. The information there helped.
But I still wonder if there has been any more definitive research and documentation showing connections between people in adoptive families. Maybe that could be the next focus for some of the researchers like Carol Bowman. Our one daughter came all the way from Korea as an infant. A lot of Carol's research she reports in her books tell about how evident it is that people reincarnate into the same areas they left from their past life. I wonder how possible it would be for my daughter to have been connected to one of us in a past life having come so far to join us in this life.
Families and disabilities?
Ailish, I wonder if that's the reason why I was born in, and still live with a family I just don't really like on some deep level. i can probably say with the treatment I've got from them throughout my life that any love I did offer at the start was thrown back in my face but... even so, I don't relate to my family at all really. I am soooo different to them. Not just because of my disability although, I believe that's how the difference started.
OK, yep, I'm also talking to the rest of you as well, lol. didn't mean to single out one person. i wanted to say more on this great post.
well, I feel pretty much the same way. I'm very much alone in this world despite being around plenty of people. Mostly my family who, I don't connect with at all. I just go through the motions with them, I don't feel the love not one bit
I think this has damaged me to the extent that I dare not fully open up myself to people outside the family. I'm just fearful how far I can go to trying to connect with people, able bodied people that is. I've never felt an innate connection with anyone at all, so, I've not come across anyone from my soul grouping. I did wonder and still wonder whether I'm just so alone in the universe, not belonging anywhere.
However, I feel it's more about me chosing not to belong from the start and now..... changing my mind and regreting that decision! I'd love to connect to people, whoever they are, it'd be the coolest having a/or quite a few soul mates. Yes, I'd say you can have more than one soul mate. i think it even happens.
Lastly, yes, I do feel more comfortable with other disabled people but, that i think is down to feeling less threatened or, definitely a security issue. I've not experience any more of a deeper connection with other disabled people as opposed to abled bodied though. I'd say I don't 100% relate to other disabled people. I think the disability thing is what causes any relation at all to be honest, and is something that I build on. Where as with abled bodied, the playing field isn't level.
Ah, yes, this is going off topic but, i do wonder where this need to connect, not being able and, and trying to fight it comes from. I'm sure it goes before the existance of Justin
Plus, leaving aside the medical model, the fact I'm visually impaired came from somewhere before. I say this as, I could have easily had any disability, or none at all, could have been any race, born in any circumstance.
Ailish said:Great post, thank you for sharing! I especially liked the phrase "expanding your love base" :thumbsup: That seems to fit my life this time around in regards to my choice of family. I had to learn to be comfortable away from members of my soul group, and when I learned that lesson, I was reunited with two of them
Ailish
Ailish, I wonder if that's the reason why I was born in, and still live with a family I just don't really like on some deep level. i can probably say with the treatment I've got from them throughout my life that any love I did offer at the start was thrown back in my face but... even so, I don't relate to my family at all really. I am soooo different to them. Not just because of my disability although, I believe that's how the difference started.
OK, yep, I'm also talking to the rest of you as well, lol. didn't mean to single out one person. i wanted to say more on this great post.
well, I feel pretty much the same way. I'm very much alone in this world despite being around plenty of people. Mostly my family who, I don't connect with at all. I just go through the motions with them, I don't feel the love not one bit
I think this has damaged me to the extent that I dare not fully open up myself to people outside the family. I'm just fearful how far I can go to trying to connect with people, able bodied people that is. I've never felt an innate connection with anyone at all, so, I've not come across anyone from my soul grouping. I did wonder and still wonder whether I'm just so alone in the universe, not belonging anywhere. However, I feel it's more about me chosing not to belong from the start and now..... changing my mind and regreting that decision! I'd love to connect to people, whoever they are, it'd be the coolest having a/or quite a few soul mates. Yes, I'd say you can have more than one soul mate. i think it even happens.
Lastly, yes, I do feel more comfortable with other disabled people but, that i think is down to feeling less threatened or, definitely a security issue. I've not experience any more of a deeper connection with other disabled people as opposed to abled bodied though. I'd say I don't 100% relate to other disabled people. I think the disability thing is what causes any relation at all to be honest, and is something that I build on. Where as with abled bodied, the playing field isn't level.
Ah, yes, this is going off topic but, i do wonder where this need to connect, not being able and, and trying to fight it comes from. I'm sure it goes before the existance of Justin
Plus, leaving aside the medical model, the fact I'm visually impaired came from somewhere before. I say this as, I could have easily had any disability, or none at all, could have been any race, born in any circumstance.
Ailish
Administrator Emerita
Hiya Justin
It's definitely a difficult thing, feeling like you don't belong with the people who are supposed to be closest to you...your family. I know I've learned a lot from choosing that experience, but it took me awhile to figure it all out
I truly believe that anyone who decides to be born with physical and/or mental "disabilities", chose to do so primarily for the reason that they are a highly evolved soul, and secondly for the experience it brings. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you chose your family, because they have lessons to learn from you? Let me tell you the story of Kevin. I was thirteen, and babysitting a lot for families in the neighbourhood. A new family moved in and the mother sought me out to watch her two little boys, ages 6 and 9. Little Kevin was born with so many problems to overcome. At six, he couldn't sit up, roll over, or hold his head up for very long. He had to wear a helmut to protect his brain, in case he hit his head. His little body had so many scars from surgeries. He had to wear diapers, couldn't feed himself, or speak. At first, I was scared (being only 13), because this little boy was so different from the other kids I watched. Then I got to know him. :laugh: I realized that Kevin understood everything that was said to him. He learned a few signs...like hungry and thirsty, so he could communicate. He loved stories, and being taken for walks. He loved being cuddled, and played with, and talked to, just like his brother. Like any child, his eyes would light up when his favorite babysitter came over...mum and dad were going out and it was time to have some fun! This wonderful little boy touched everyone around him. I learned more about love from this little six-year-old, than from anyone in my life. He was a gift of pure joy, and had so much to teach everyone. I fully believe that able-bodied or not, everyone is equal. We all have souls. We all need people to love, and to love us. And we all have something to give.
It's hard to open yourself up to new experiences, especially if you feel like people are judging you before they even meet you. We can't close ourselves off to the possibility of friendship and love, because we all need those things. You are definitely worth knowing, Justin, and you have a lot to offer, I can tell If some people don't feel that way, then they are the ones who aren't worth knowing. Find something you enjoy doing, take a class, join a book club, meet people that share similar interests and friendships will follow. If you reach out to others, they will reach back
Ailish
It's definitely a difficult thing, feeling like you don't belong with the people who are supposed to be closest to you...your family. I know I've learned a lot from choosing that experience, but it took me awhile to figure it all out
I truly believe that anyone who decides to be born with physical and/or mental "disabilities", chose to do so primarily for the reason that they are a highly evolved soul, and secondly for the experience it brings. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you chose your family, because they have lessons to learn from you? Let me tell you the story of Kevin. I was thirteen, and babysitting a lot for families in the neighbourhood. A new family moved in and the mother sought me out to watch her two little boys, ages 6 and 9. Little Kevin was born with so many problems to overcome. At six, he couldn't sit up, roll over, or hold his head up for very long. He had to wear a helmut to protect his brain, in case he hit his head. His little body had so many scars from surgeries. He had to wear diapers, couldn't feed himself, or speak. At first, I was scared (being only 13), because this little boy was so different from the other kids I watched. Then I got to know him. :laugh: I realized that Kevin understood everything that was said to him. He learned a few signs...like hungry and thirsty, so he could communicate. He loved stories, and being taken for walks. He loved being cuddled, and played with, and talked to, just like his brother. Like any child, his eyes would light up when his favorite babysitter came over...mum and dad were going out and it was time to have some fun!
This wonderful little boy touched everyone around him. I learned more about love from this little six-year-old, than from anyone in my life. He was a gift of pure joy, and had so much to teach everyone. I fully believe that able-bodied or not, everyone is equal. We all have souls. We all need people to love, and to love us. And we all have something to give. It's hard to open yourself up to new experiences, especially if you feel like people are judging you before they even meet you. We can't close ourselves off to the possibility of friendship and love, because we all need those things. You are definitely worth knowing, Justin, and you have a lot to offer, I can tell
If some people don't feel that way, then they are the ones who aren't worth knowing. Find something you enjoy doing, take a class, join a book club, meet people that share similar interests and friendships will follow. If you reach out to others, they will reach back Ailish
Hey Ailish,
Yep, you're dead right there. Everything you say makes total sense and is true now. I think it's a case of trying to get this approach into my head, adapting my approach to life itself. I don't feel I need to worry about trying to change way my family treat me (constant put me downs, a bit of bullying and sometimes smothering/you can't do that attitude, attitudes). I'm not sure they are learning well from me anyway. Arrogance is a man's worst enemy, or is the ego at fault here?
I've noticed in my life at least several people who have/are, incredibly to me, seem open to me. The fact I get invited out for a drink say, makes me think, they obviously see point in wanting to spend some tme with me. So, I must have something about me then I think I lack the real closeness, connection to all people full stop. I'm sure part of that is PL, there are many kinds of people who cut themselves off from openess, expressing and giving love in many ways. So, in theory, I've got another set of circustances to help me out of that bad habit, lol.
I loved the story about you looking after Kevin. This is just proof to me, beyond doubt how much worth, we disabled people do have in society and that every abled bodied person needs to discover that in whatever way. I don't think my family quite appriciate what having me in their lives actually means on a deeper level. Mind you, not entirely sure I get the meaning from my perspective apart teaching them is a such a chore to me ( I hate to say though). So, again, another reason for feeling out of place there? always had the sense of being aware of a bit more than what they "seem" to be aware of themselves.
Yep, you're dead right there. Everything you say makes total sense and is true now. I think it's a case of trying to get this approach into my head, adapting my approach to life itself. I don't feel I need to worry about trying to change way my family treat me (constant put me downs, a bit of bullying and sometimes smothering/you can't do that attitude, attitudes). I'm not sure they are learning well from me anyway. Arrogance is a man's worst enemy, or is the ego at fault here?
I've noticed in my life at least several people who have/are, incredibly to me, seem open to me. The fact I get invited out for a drink say, makes me think, they obviously see point in wanting to spend some tme with me. So, I must have something about me then
I think I lack the real closeness, connection to all people full stop. I'm sure part of that is PL, there are many kinds of people who cut themselves off from openess, expressing and giving love in many ways. So, in theory, I've got another set of circustances to help me out of that bad habit, lol. I loved the story about you looking after Kevin. This is just proof to me, beyond doubt how much worth, we disabled people do have in society and that every abled bodied person needs to discover that in whatever way. I don't think my family quite appriciate what having me in their lives actually means on a deeper level. Mind you, not entirely sure I get the meaning from my perspective apart teaching them is a such a chore to me ( I hate to say though). So, again, another reason for feeling out of place there? always had the sense of being aware of a bit more than what they "seem" to be aware of themselves.
Ailish
Administrator Emerita
Hi Justin,
You're right--you shouldn't worry about what trying to change your family. Only they can change themselves. I'm really sorry that they treat you badly, that type of atmosphere can be difficult to rise above. Know though, that although you cannot control their actions...you can choose to control your reactions.
:tongue: 
Your thoughts, and your feelings are just that...yours. If they are bullying you, or putting you down, don't believe what they say, but pity THEM. Their ignorance, or lack of understanding makes them pretty small-minded, so be patient with them, because it is they who are truly "disabled."
You know your strengths and your limitations. (I certainly know mine) Set goals for yourself and take pride in reaching them. Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something, because whatever you dream, you can achieve! Oh, the road may be rocky at times, but persistence and a positive attitude do wonders in helping on the journey. Remember that you are just as important as everyone else, and you deserve good things
Ailish
You're right--you shouldn't worry about what trying to change your family. Only they can change themselves. I'm really sorry that they treat you badly, that type of atmosphere can be difficult to rise above. Know though, that although you cannot control their actions...you can choose to control your reactions.
:tongue: Your thoughts, and your feelings are just that...yours. If they are bullying you, or putting you down, don't believe what they say, but pity THEM. Their ignorance, or lack of understanding makes them pretty small-minded, so be patient with them, because it is they who are truly "disabled."You know your strengths and your limitations. (I certainly know mine
) Set goals for yourself and take pride in reaching them. Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something, because whatever you dream, you can achieve! Oh, the road may be rocky at times, but persistence and a positive attitude do wonders in helping on the journey. Remember that you are just as important as everyone else, and you deserve good things Ailish
awww, Ailish! :thumbsup: :cool that's really sweet of you to point this out to me.
Gives me a bit of a boost that does. I find I'm slowly coming around to that way of thinking. I don't shout and create and make such a noise when they attack me like they used to. I'll just calmly say my piece until I know I'm getting no where and just don't say a word. Yes, it still hurts as it used to as a child but.... I make more of an effort to move on after each incident as, I don't see why I should let it bring me down for the next god knows how many hours.
You know? I just cannot fathem how on earth i came to choose them as parents for this life but... I bet they were somewhat a little different in their past incarnations and i don't supposed I'd have fully guessed how they would have turned out, in this one, before I was born. Now I know
Yep, patience does help. I'm glad I've got that gift, lol.
thanks again
Justin
Gives me a bit of a boost that does. I find I'm slowly coming around to that way of thinking. I don't shout and create and make such a noise when they attack me like they used to. I'll just calmly say my piece until I know I'm getting no where and just don't say a word. Yes, it still hurts as it used to as a child but.... I make more of an effort to move on after each incident as, I don't see why I should let it bring me down for the next god knows how many hours.
You know? I just cannot fathem how on earth i came to choose them as parents for this life but... I bet they were somewhat a little different in their past incarnations and i don't supposed I'd have fully guessed how they would have turned out, in this one, before I was born. Now I know
Yep, patience does help. I'm glad I've got that gift, lol.
thanks again
Justin
kyla
Senior Registered
hi justin,
thank you for sharing your experiences, i have to be honest and tell you that when i read your posts, your conversation with Ailish, i had such a sense of happiness come over me knowing that although our stituations are very different but our experiences are quite similar to an extent, it just made me happy knowing this. knowing that there are other people out there that understand and are coming through the hard parts, coming to grips with a PL soul's choice, in this life!
i know your family experiences are different from mine, but i wanted to back up what Ailish has said, she's got everything spot on! :thumbsup: what more can i say! certainly looking after number one, while in this life's stituation cant be a bad thing, keeping your own spirits high, and staying positive. i know thats how ive learned to deal with things when ive felt alone, even though my families been there around me.
Ailish, that story about kevin was amazin, ive never been through anything like that, so to read how meeting him changed you was so enlightening!
through this thread ive questioned wether or not i might have chosen my family, for whatever reason, what do you all think about the idea of people choosing you in this life for whatever reason?! does anyone have any experiences as such they'd like to share? just an interesting concept! (i think)
thank you for sharing your experiences, i have to be honest and tell you that when i read your posts, your conversation with Ailish, i had such a sense of happiness come over me
knowing that although our stituations are very different but our experiences are quite similar to an extent, it just made me happy knowing this. knowing that there are other people out there that understand and are coming through the hard parts, coming to grips with a PL soul's choice, in this life! i know your family experiences are different from mine, but i wanted to back up what Ailish has said, she's got everything spot on! :thumbsup: what more can i say! certainly looking after number one, while in this life's stituation cant be a bad thing, keeping your own spirits high, and staying positive. i know thats how ive learned to deal with things when ive felt alone, even though my families been there around me.
Ailish, that story about kevin was amazin, ive never been through anything like that, so to read how meeting him changed you was so enlightening!
through this thread ive questioned wether or not i might have chosen my family, for whatever reason, what do you all think about the idea of people choosing you in this life for whatever reason?! does anyone have any experiences as such they'd like to share? just an interesting concept! (i think)
Ailish
Administrator Emerita
Hiya Justin & Kyla,
Justin--I'm glad that you're learning to work through the bad parts with your family. Baby steps, my friend Yes, it can be frustrating, and it can hurt at times despite our best intentions to stay upbeat. When I experience a difficult moment with my family that keeps gnawing at me, I write it all down in a journal, put the journal aside for the night, and then read it the next day. I leave enough space after each journal entry to write down what I've learned from it, and how that experience has helped me to grow. It turns a negative into a positive...and journaling is really a great way to purge any negative thoughts. :thumbsup:
Kyla--I'm happy that you are enjoying the forum! It's nice to have a friendly place to come for a chat I'm glad that you liked my story about Kevin. He really did bring so much love and understanding to my life! He changed the way I look at people, that's for sure :laugh: A very special little guy!
Ailish
Justin--I'm glad that you're learning to work through the bad parts with your family. Baby steps, my friend
Yes, it can be frustrating, and it can hurt at times despite our best intentions to stay upbeat. When I experience a difficult moment with my family that keeps gnawing at me, I write it all down in a journal, put the journal aside for the night, and then read it the next day. I leave enough space after each journal entry to write down what I've learned from it, and how that experience has helped me to grow. It turns a negative into a positive...and journaling is really a great way to purge any negative thoughts. :thumbsup: Kyla--I'm happy that you are enjoying the forum! It's nice to have a friendly place to come for a chat
I'm glad that you liked my story about Kevin. He really did bring so much love and understanding to my life! He changed the way I look at people, that's for sure :laugh: A very special little guy! Ailish
Norin Radd
New Member
Reincarnating and Parents
Hello,
My parents, including my siblings, dislike/resent me and the feeling is mutual. Father, a very angry, fearful man and a religious mother. Need not say more. And I hate to say this but I'm really hoping I don't have to encounter any of them again. I say "hoping" but my gut would probably say we're all coming back again to work it out, except there's not much to work out. I am essentially, very different from all family, viewpoints, beliefs, interests. Have never ever fit in and instinctively I know my soul is not supposed to fit in. Be true to myself. I am a good person, and accomplished great things in my life, but all that matters not in any of their eyes.
Hmm..having an epiphany. Maybe the whole point was to just be myself, despite what they think, and to heck with trying to get their approval.
Anyways, still hoping I don't have to incarnate around them again. I want to someday experience real closeness with my real parents.
Hello,
My parents, including my siblings, dislike/resent me and the feeling is mutual. Father, a very angry, fearful man and a religious mother. Need not say more. And I hate to say this but I'm really hoping I don't have to encounter any of them again. I say "hoping" but my gut would probably say we're all coming back again to work it out, except there's not much to work out. I am essentially, very different from all family, viewpoints, beliefs, interests. Have never ever fit in and instinctively I know my soul is not supposed to fit in. Be true to myself. I am a good person, and accomplished great things in my life, but all that matters not in any of their eyes.
Hmm..having an epiphany. Maybe the whole point was to just be myself, despite what they think, and to heck with trying to get their approval.
Anyways, still hoping I don't have to incarnate around them again. I want to someday experience real closeness with my real parents.
Littlemoon
Senior Registered
Your relationship with your parents is possibly very different than relationships you've had with them before....Do they dislike you enough to murder you? My husband murdered me in a past life (don't know how long ago), and he is a wonderful, loving, beautiful person in this life...
So, even if you don't have a great relationship now, who knows, they could be your best friends in the next!
So, even if you don't have a great relationship now, who knows, they could be your best friends in the next!
Ailish
Administrator Emerita
Hi Norin Radd,
It sounds like you are handling things very well, following your own heart and being true to yourself and that's great! You're right that you were born to them for a reason, be it a lesson you have to learn, or one they need to learn from you. As Littlemoon pointed out, relationships do change from life to life, so perhaps if you choose to work with them again next life, it will be in an entirely different situation. I would recommend reading the FAQ section and using the search engine to look for threads about soul connections/families. Souls operate on different vibrational levels, so it could be that your current family is not actually part of your "soul family". Good luck!
Ailish
It sounds like you are handling things very well, following your own heart and being true to yourself and that's great! You're right that you were born to them for a reason, be it a lesson you have to learn, or one they need to learn from you. As Littlemoon pointed out, relationships do change from life to life, so perhaps if you choose to work with them again next life, it will be in an entirely different situation. I would recommend reading the FAQ section and using the search engine to look for threads about soul connections/families. Souls operate on different vibrational levels, so it could be that your current family is not actually part of your "soul family". Good luck!
Ailish
PixieFaerie
Senior Registered
Why do some souls choose abusive families?
Why do children pick abusive families to be born to? ive seen so many abuse children where i live that its hard to deal with sometimes. I wonder what kind of lesson they are learning by being abused? I know you're not suppose to question things, but i feel so badly for these children.
Why do children pick abusive families to be born to? ive seen so many abuse children where i live that its hard to deal with sometimes. I wonder what kind of lesson they are learning by being abused? I know you're not suppose to question things, but i feel so badly for these children.
Ailish
Administrator Emerita
Hi PixieFaerie,
Abuse of any living creature is difficult to stomach, but children are so innocent and beautiful that it's the worst type of abuse to witness. It seems like the more people I speak with, the more I find out how staggering the numbers of abused actually are. I can't speak for others, but I can tell you that in my situation, I grew up to be a stronger, more compassionate and loving person because of my experiences. By watching the people who were supposed to protect me (my birthfamily), I learned how not to treat others. I learned how to love unconditionally, and I learned how to forgive. Those were some of the lessons I learned. I was, and still am, very fortunate to have a warm, caring circle of friends who are my family. I am also fortunate and blessed in having a loving family NOW.
Ailish
Abuse of any living creature is difficult to stomach, but children are so innocent and beautiful that it's the worst type of abuse to witness. It seems like the more people I speak with, the more I find out how staggering the numbers of abused actually are. I can't speak for others, but I can tell you that in my situation, I grew up to be a stronger, more compassionate and loving person because of my experiences. By watching the people who were supposed to protect me (my birthfamily), I learned how not to treat others. I learned how to love unconditionally, and I learned how to forgive. Those were some of the lessons I learned. I was, and still am, very fortunate to have a warm, caring circle of friends who are my family. I am also fortunate and blessed in having a loving family NOW.
Ailish
American's spend more money on Pizza every year - than on finding ways to address and end child abuse. Some souls are drawn to that which they know having been abused life time after life time. Their soul does not know how to make the changes necessary to stop the cycle. And never -under any circumstances does a child deserve to be abused. I do not believe they have CHOSEN to be abused.
Perhaps sometimes it is more about the adults in the community - facing up to the issues at hand and taking responsibility for them. Just a thought.
Perhaps sometimes it is more about the adults in the community - facing up to the issues at hand and taking responsibility for them. Just a thought.
elese
Senior Registered
i agree with what you are saying so much... in my case... i have been not physically abused (that i'm quite aware of...), but mentally. it has turned me into a wreck of a person for the last 5 years or more... but i'm slowly growing stronger because of it, and it made me the person i am today. it can be a good example of not what to be, and to help others in htese poor situations. although i am not as fortunate to have a loving circle of friends (i literally have a reaccuring theme of having a best friend and them moving away within 6 months... like 5 times in a row?)... but i'm starting to find those people. i beleive that good can emerge from poor situations... and although it's quite disgusting what people do... it could be helpful in the end... i dunno... just from my experience... it's really shaped who i am, and if i might say, i'm quite a good, loving, caring person...Ailish said:
I find it really hard to imagine how something like the horrific kidnappings and killings in Idaho could play into all this. That poor little girl has to spend the rest of her life dealing with this things no one ever should. I don't understand what lesson she could be learning that would be worth that horror- how could any learning experience be worth that?
And, Elese, hang in there. Sounds like you're in your teens- I'm in my 20's so I'm not too far ahead of you. It is really tough to establish a really stable set of friends when you're young because there are so many outside factors you can't control, and you and all your friends are still forming identities. Just remember that just because you don't have that stable group of friends now, if you continue to be the caring person you sound like you are, you will definitely form one. It takes time, but I know it will happen for you.
And, Elese, hang in there. Sounds like you're in your teens- I'm in my 20's so I'm not too far ahead of you. It is really tough to establish a really stable set of friends when you're young because there are so many outside factors you can't control, and you and all your friends are still forming identities. Just remember that just because you don't have that stable group of friends now, if you continue to be the caring person you sound like you are, you will definitely form one. It takes time, but I know it will happen for you.
Littlemoon
Senior Registered
Elese, magnet is right. I didn't have a great childhood, at all. But when I got old enough to move away from my family make my own choices and deal with people that I CHOSE to deal with, I feel like I'm finally free of all the crap. (Sounds harsh, but that's what it's like).
About your friends, I'm sorry it's so tough, but you will find good friends--you seem like a smart and intelligent person, there is nothing that will hold you back.
About child abuse, I can't understand how it is STILL happening, with so many Child Protective Services, etc! There has to be some other way to help the children.
I'm not sure why or IF a soul chooses to be in an abusive situation. I think we're all going to be abused in one life or another, and I do believe that people who are abused grow into very strong people, in most cases.
About your friends, I'm sorry it's so tough, but you will find good friends--you seem like a smart and intelligent person, there is nothing that will hold you back.
About child abuse, I can't understand how it is STILL happening, with so many Child Protective Services, etc! There has to be some other way to help the children.
I'm not sure why or IF a soul chooses to be in an abusive situation. I think we're all going to be abused in one life or another, and I do believe that people who are abused grow into very strong people, in most cases.
Ailish
Administrator Emerita
Hi Elese,
I'm glad that you can take a negative thing and find something positive in it...that is soooo hard to do sometimes. Good for you! Remember too, that whoever the abuser is, that the issues are theirs and not yours. You did nothing to deserve it, and it's not your fault. The best thing you can do is learn from that experience, and grow in a positive way. Don't let the negative words affect you, because it's not about you, it's about the abuser and their insecurities.
Magnet and Littlemoon are right about finding those extra-special friends...high school is a rough time, people come and go in our lives constantly. Once you're out on your own, it's much easier to make yourself a comfy little home and surround yourself with good people. It's an old cliche, but it's true when they say "what you put out, you get back". You're a good person, so be patient and the wonderful friends will find you
Ailish
I'm glad that you can take a negative thing and find something positive in it...that is soooo hard to do sometimes. Good for you! Remember too, that whoever the abuser is, that the issues are theirs and not yours. You did nothing to deserve it, and it's not your fault. The best thing you can do is learn from that experience, and grow in a positive way. Don't let the negative words affect you, because it's not about you, it's about the abuser and their insecurities.
Magnet and Littlemoon are right about finding those extra-special friends...high school is a rough time, people come and go in our lives constantly. Once you're out on your own, it's much easier to make yourself a comfy little home and surround yourself with good people. It's an old cliche, but it's true when they say "what you put out, you get back". You're a good person, so be patient and the wonderful friends will find you
Ailish
I'm sure my physical this life family aint' my soul family. I feel a real differennce between me and them and it isn't just the disabilty albino thing with me either, although, it's made a winning starting point.
I feel I'm different from them. I do resent my parents for the way they've brought me up treated me and the way they speak to me with little respect (mostly my father and sister more than mum with this one). I am different from them cause, I just see them as poor and ignorant, like kids really. I do tend to have my nose raised to them, they are.... welll, I don't know, they aren't on my wave length. I feel I am above them in a lot of respects. Now, i do think there is something in common with me and mum. I do see likenesses with me and her, the more I think about it. However, I could cheerfully ring her neck! lol. Oh, I could hit her one at the best of times. I don't do it mind no. I just curse the woman, lol. Yes, i will admit there are some likeness there between me and her. Not so with my dad and sister though. Interesting huh?
Maybe a slight likeness with my grandad (on dad's side) certainly not with my late granddad (on mum's side). I'm sorry, I so look down on him for a lot of different reasons and... unlike mum, I never liked him, not even a little.
The rest of my family I take and leave. Some are better than others. My aunti June and her brood I feel comfortable with. I like my cousin Andrew a lot but.. I don't care for his brother, sister and his parents (my aunti Jenny and uncle Ivan).
All interesting.
Justin
I feel I'm different from them. I do resent my parents for the way they've brought me up treated me and the way they speak to me with little respect (mostly my father and sister more than mum with this one). I am different from them cause, I just see them as poor and ignorant, like kids really. I do tend to have my nose raised to them, they are.... welll, I don't know, they aren't on my wave length. I feel I am above them in a lot of respects. Now, i do think there is something in common with me and mum. I do see likenesses with me and her, the more I think about it. However, I could cheerfully ring her neck! lol. Oh, I could hit her one at the best of times. I don't do it mind no. I just curse the woman, lol. Yes, i will admit there are some likeness there between me and her. Not so with my dad and sister though. Interesting huh?
Maybe a slight likeness with my grandad (on dad's side) certainly not with my late granddad (on mum's side). I'm sorry, I so look down on him for a lot of different reasons and... unlike mum, I never liked him, not even a little.
The rest of my family I take and leave. Some are better than others. My aunti June and her brood I feel comfortable with. I like my cousin Andrew a lot but.. I don't care for his brother, sister and his parents (my aunti Jenny and uncle Ivan).
All interesting.
Justin
Norin Radd
New Member
I have no memory or knowledge of any of my past lives, save but one particular life. Partly from an "episode of remembering" and from a trance reading. I was in Sri Lanka (Ceylon at the time, yr.1320). I grew/cultivated tea, was very good at it, but went about doing things in very different ways. The society or group of farmers disliked me for being different. This is the part I could feel, my isolation from a group I had nothing in common with, and being affected by their opinions.
Regarding that particular incarnation I was told by wise spirits;
"The opinion of others are not as important as the opinion of self"
Again, I hope this was the intended objective in this life. That way I don't have to see any of my current family ever again : angel
Regarding that particular incarnation I was told by wise spirits;
"The opinion of others are not as important as the opinion of self"
Again, I hope this was the intended objective in this life. That way I don't have to see any of my current family ever again : angel
Susie
Dreamer-former moderator
Some of the things written in this thread are pretty disturbing-- in my opinion, the parent-child relationship is the foundation toward growth and one of the most spiritual relationships we can have. We all have parts of our parents in us, whether we want to admit it or not, and chances are they are the parts that we don't like. We also all have a part in choosing our parents, and those two parents helped to bring us into the physical life.
Norin Radd, resentment directed toward anyone is a choice, and is not part of a spiritual path, whether that resentment is a means to an end, i.e. simply realizing who we are. Haven't you learned anything good from them? Not liking a parent's religion is one thing, but perhaps it is a lesson toward building our own structure or finding our own path. Your dad's anger can be a mirror to your own and learning new ways to handle anger. Parents with different viewpoints can lead us toward having stronger viewpoints of our own. What about simply accepting parents as they are? If we cannot accept others, then this means we have not yet accepted ourselves.
Justin, if you see your parents as poor and ignorant and you turn your nose up at them, then chances are you feel this exact same way about yourself. You can only give others what is within you. Any difference from other people is a chance to grow and honor oneself. Once you have compassion for yourself, you can have compassion for others.
I see many possibilities to do some spiritual work around relationships with parents.
Norin Radd, resentment directed toward anyone is a choice, and is not part of a spiritual path, whether that resentment is a means to an end, i.e. simply realizing who we are. Haven't you learned anything good from them? Not liking a parent's religion is one thing, but perhaps it is a lesson toward building our own structure or finding our own path. Your dad's anger can be a mirror to your own and learning new ways to handle anger. Parents with different viewpoints can lead us toward having stronger viewpoints of our own. What about simply accepting parents as they are? If we cannot accept others, then this means we have not yet accepted ourselves.
Justin, if you see your parents as poor and ignorant and you turn your nose up at them, then chances are you feel this exact same way about yourself. You can only give others what is within you. Any difference from other people is a chance to grow and honor oneself. Once you have compassion for yourself, you can have compassion for others.
I see many possibilities to do some spiritual work around relationships with parents.
Susie said:Justin, if you see your parents as poor and ignorant and you turn your nose up at them, then chances are you feel this exact same way about yourself. You can only give others what is within you. Any difference from other people is a chance to grow and honor oneself. Once you have compassion for yourself, you can have compassion for others.
I see many possibilities to do some spiritual work around relationships with parents.
i can't disagree with that. I've had to learn to like myself. I feel I've made progress only in most recent years however, I'm in no doubt I have a long way to go there. My current circumstance or how I've been brought up to view them has been a hinderence rather than a help with this. I've actually blamed them for my disability years ago. IN my eyes it was their fault as it was their genetic activety that gave me what I have. I don't feel so strongly about it now and i feel its not nearly as simple as that anyway.
That may explain how i see them right now.
norabrindle
Senior Registered
Reincarnating and parents
My mother was extremely difficult to get along with, easily hurt by the world and all the people in it. It seemed like she was always getting hurt by people she worked with and by her brothers and sisters. She never forgot anything mean that anyone ever said to her, and talked about it incessantly. She fought with her brothers and sisters, and with people she worked with and with checkout people in the grocery store over a penny or two. She was always mad at Daddy over some imagined slight. I took the role of "mother" to her at a very young age, and spent my whole life trying to protect her and shield her from hurt, most of which was imagined. Every sentence had to be carefully worded, and every action carefully executed so she would not take offence. My life was miserable. She died when I was 28 years old, and it took me years to be able to forgive her. I dream sometimes that she is still alive and I wake up scared to death. I fought with her in my dreams for years trying to make her understand how wrong she was about almost everything. But sometimes adversities prepare us for the most important things that we do in our lives. I believe my calling in this live is to take care of old people. I am at my best with little old people, especially Alzheimers patients. They are tempered a lot like my mother was, so I can handle them and take care of them. They can be extremely volatile and violent, but most of them will do anything in the world for me, and most of them call me Mama. The amazing thing is that I take care of two deaf ladies that never heard anybody call me mama, and they both call me mama. I believe that my mother was my child more than one incarnation in time.
My mother was extremely difficult to get along with, easily hurt by the world and all the people in it. It seemed like she was always getting hurt by people she worked with and by her brothers and sisters. She never forgot anything mean that anyone ever said to her, and talked about it incessantly. She fought with her brothers and sisters, and with people she worked with and with checkout people in the grocery store over a penny or two. She was always mad at Daddy over some imagined slight. I took the role of "mother" to her at a very young age, and spent my whole life trying to protect her and shield her from hurt, most of which was imagined. Every sentence had to be carefully worded, and every action carefully executed so she would not take offence. My life was miserable. She died when I was 28 years old, and it took me years to be able to forgive her. I dream sometimes that she is still alive and I wake up scared to death. I fought with her in my dreams for years trying to make her understand how wrong she was about almost everything. But sometimes adversities prepare us for the most important things that we do in our lives. I believe my calling in this live is to take care of old people. I am at my best with little old people, especially Alzheimers patients. They are tempered a lot like my mother was, so I can handle them and take care of them. They can be extremely volatile and violent, but most of them will do anything in the world for me, and most of them call me Mama. The amazing thing is that I take care of two deaf ladies that never heard anybody call me mama, and they both call me mama. I believe that my mother was my child more than one incarnation in time.
Something that just came in my mind yesterday :
We were a very simple family,not exactly poor, but not rich either. We never had anything short, but we didn't have too much either.
I have one sister, who is 14 years older than me. I never got along with her well, but thought that was because of the 'generation gap'.
We were both loved very much by our parents. But I remember my parents also had difficulties with my sisters character. You see, I know she respected our parents very much, and tried to be a good daughter, but she was (and still is) very materialistic. She always wanted the most fancy things. And my parents and I had the impression she wanted to live 'above standard'. I remember my father remarked a few times : 'I don't understand how she came into our family can act like an aristocrat in a simple family .
I want to add that when grown up, my sister indeed managed to live the life she desired, marrying a very wealthy man with a nice business, and in a material way, she obtained everything a person can desire.
About a year ago, I recognized my sister as being an Egyptian princess in a PL, a life where I was adopted into the royal family, and she refused to accept me as her sister. There are other threads where I describe those memories with more detail.
So suddenly it dawned on me where she got her royal attitude from !! And why she was born into a simple family also ! Because once a 'simple' person as a sister was not acceptable for her, and now she was living with me again, in a simple family, 14 years older than me, and while our mother died when I was 13 and she was 27, she was more or less OBLIGED to take care of me. (which she did, she was and is very dedicated to our family, she learned her lesson in that way that in spite of her 'royal attitude' she never looked down on our family).
Well, sorry this was so long, but my point is, that sometimes not only 'children' don't feel fit with their parents, but it can also be that parents wonder why this particular child, that is so different from themselves, came to them. And I also want to stress that those differences don't have to mean the love and dedication of family members towards each other are less.
BTW, I don't have any idea of her or mine connection with our present life parents in a past life, I only know why she was born into the same family as ME, and in that particular situation.
Eevee
We were a very simple family,not exactly poor, but not rich either. We never had anything short, but we didn't have too much either.
I have one sister, who is 14 years older than me. I never got along with her well, but thought that was because of the 'generation gap'.
We were both loved very much by our parents. But I remember my parents also had difficulties with my sisters character. You see, I know she respected our parents very much, and tried to be a good daughter, but she was (and still is) very materialistic. She always wanted the most fancy things. And my parents and I had the impression she wanted to live 'above standard'. I remember my father remarked a few times : 'I don't understand how she came into our family can act like an aristocrat in a simple family .
I want to add that when grown up, my sister indeed managed to live the life she desired, marrying a very wealthy man with a nice business, and in a material way, she obtained everything a person can desire.
About a year ago, I recognized my sister as being an Egyptian princess in a PL, a life where I was adopted into the royal family, and she refused to accept me as her sister. There are other threads where I describe those memories with more detail.
So suddenly it dawned on me where she got her royal attitude from !! And why she was born into a simple family also ! Because once a 'simple' person as a sister was not acceptable for her, and now she was living with me again, in a simple family, 14 years older than me, and while our mother died when I was 13 and she was 27, she was more or less OBLIGED to take care of me. (which she did, she was and is very dedicated to our family, she learned her lesson in that way that in spite of her 'royal attitude' she never looked down on our family).
Well, sorry this was so long, but my point is, that sometimes not only 'children' don't feel fit with their parents, but it can also be that parents wonder why this particular child, that is so different from themselves, came to them. And I also want to stress that those differences don't have to mean the love and dedication of family members towards each other are less.
BTW, I don't have any idea of her or mine connection with our present life parents in a past life, I only know why she was born into the same family as ME, and in that particular situation.
Eevee
Adopted Children
Hi
I am new to the site and have always been fascinated with reincarnation and have always believed in past lives..
I am married to a wonderful man who I believe is my soul-mate. After years of heartache with infertility we have recently adopted two beautiful little girls aged 12 months and 28 months and feel truly blessed.
They are everything we ever drempt they would be and so much more. We all share a special bond together. I have always believed fate played a part in bringing us all together as a family and although we share no blood ties I am sure this is meant to be and we have all been together in previous lives too.
My only concern is why we all had to suffer before we were eventually brought together.
Does everyone else believe fate plays a part?
love
Chantelle x
Hi
I am new to the site and have always been fascinated with reincarnation and have always believed in past lives..
I am married to a wonderful man who I believe is my soul-mate. After years of heartache with infertility we have recently adopted two beautiful little girls aged 12 months and 28 months and feel truly blessed.
They are everything we ever drempt they would be and so much more. We all share a special bond together. I have always believed fate played a part in bringing us all together as a family and although we share no blood ties I am sure this is meant to be and we have all been together in previous lives too.
My only concern is why we all had to suffer before we were eventually brought together.
Does everyone else believe fate plays a part?
love
Chantelle x