Pastlife people and lessons to learn

[tao]

I've been told that my life lesson is to learn that I can be myself and still be loved. That I don't have to please to be loved. I believe this to be true because almost all my relationships have ended because I felt I wasn't being treated very well. I could have stayed in the relationships if I was willing to except their abuse. They probably wouldn't have left me.

The last long term relationship I had was with a soul mate. He was to learn from be about unconditional love. How to give and how to take it. He was not willing to open up his heart. He played emotional games. It was a good relationship in many ways, but when things got too close he would run. I finally felt I deserved more and I left after almost 6 years.

I recently met a man that I think was past life related. I don't know if he was a soul mate, but I could feel the connection from the first time we touched. He doesn't believe in past lives and we hadn't been together long enough to really talk about it. This man had a very bad experience with his now ex-wife. They lost a child and then she cheated on him and alot of other things that I probably don't know or care to. I know he was and is attracted to me, but once again his heart is closed. He is so afraid to let anyone in. He is full of contradictions and mixed messages. I know he is very gentle and loving. I feel like we met so once again I could offer unconditional love. The last time we were together something trigger an old feeling. I could see the pain in his eyes and he became very detached. It was like he had seen a ghost. I know in some ways I am similair to his ex-wife but there hadn't been any conflicts between us, what so ever. He broke up with me. It came out of the blue. I'm not sure that was really what he wanted to do. He even said as much.

My question is; do you think the feelings he was having could be from our past life together? And do you think I am going to continue to find myself with people who seem to have the same lesson about love? I am a quiet and relatively easy going person. I'm not trying to change anyone. I think Im a safe person to love and I seem to be so drawn to people who really need to know they are lovable.

 

[Ailish]

Hi tao,

It seems like you’re a very caring person, and perhaps that’s why certain types of people are drawn to you.

I've been told that my life lesson is to learn that I can be myself and still be loved.

I personally don’t believe that anyone else can accurately tell you what your purpose or “life theme” is here – it is something you need to discover for yourself.

do you think I am going to continue to find myself with people who seem to have the same lesson about love?

I think you have the choice -- to allow these situations to keep occuring, or you can learn to choose differently.

Have you thought that maybe your "job" isn’t to help these people that feel unlovable, but rather to help yourself? If you feel these people have been with you before, have you entertained the possibility that you are “re-running” certain patterns through your lives?

The choices we consciously make NOW determine situations and patterns for our present and future lives. Obviously, I don’t know you personally, but I would encourage you to try and examine the situation differently. Why are you drawn to these types? What draws them to you? How can you break the patterns in place?

Someone you want to be with – shouldn’t have to be changed. They should treat you kindly and with respect. If they don’t – they are not the right person for you, no matter if you’ve had a past life connection or not.

I would highly recommend reading the thread Denial, Re-running, & Extreme opposites

Good luck with your journey,

Ailish

 

[kris0503]

A link for tao

 

[Phoenix]

I've been told that my life lesson is to learn that I can be myself and still be loved. That I don't have to please to be loved. I believe this to be true because almost all my relationships have ended because I felt I wasn't being treated very well. I could have stayed in the relationships if I was willing to except their abuse. They probably wouldn't have left me.

A very interesting life lesson, and if you are stuck in a pattern of abusive relationships, it's probably a good one for you to learn.

Although I think there is a lesson your partners need to learn-if you want to have loving relationships-don't be distant and don't abuse your partner.

My question is; do you think the feelings he was having could be from our past life together?

The feelings he has could stem from a past life, but they sound more like baggage from a past wife.

And do you think I am going to continue to find myself with people who seem to have the same lesson about love? I think Im a safe person to love and I seem to be so drawn to people who really need to know they are lovable.

Of course you are going to continue to attract people who need you to show them they are lovable. It's up to you to recognize the signs of someone who really isn't all that lovable, and is likely to end up using or abusing you, and run the other way. Fast.

Perhaps what you need to do is find someone who has already learned those sorts of lessons and will give you unconditional love in return.

Phoenix

 

[deborah]

Hi Tao,

I just wanted to add - that spirituality is a daily walk. Relationships are and will be a constant - with others and with oneself. Giving yourself permission to love and be loved - half the battle. Change happens one person at a time; and the only one you can change - is yourself.

 

[tao]

Thanks for all the input. I have alot to think about.

Tao