Past life

[Believerofafterlife]

I once had regression therapy as a gift from my wife and I was taken to an aeroplane with openings each side and I had friends there with me, I distinctly smelt what I thought was an electrical smell the kind you get from a car on a Scalextric track ( I remember smelling it when I was a kid), it turned out that what I was smelling was cordite I was told by an elderly relative. I remember the feeling of being weightless and falling and then all was still, it all went quiet and until I could see myself as if looking down at myself and there was a feeling of 'everything is always ok' and then the therapy ended.
My wife passed away in January 2021 from a long battle with breast cancer and I had so many signs from her - one night i asked her where she was and in the morning Alexa was playing Music through the Cosmos meditation music so i can only ascertain that she is now able to travel anywhere she wants without time restraints etc. I have also asked her if we get reincarnated and I kid you not - the next morning my smart phone suggested I watched a clip of 1930's South Dakota and there is a girl in that film that stands out to me as being very similar to my wife when we first met 31 years ago - I am so sure that it is her in a previous life so if my regression took me back to 1940 - 1945 it could explain everything that I may have been KIA in WW2 and left her alone.
This is all strong feelings to me and it is the feelings I get from within my soul that makes me have a connection to this.
I don't talk with other people about it because they would have me committed to a mental institution so I am grateful of a community where I can express my experiences.
I have kept a journal of out of ordinary events and my journal was filling rapidly in the first month after I lost her but now it all seems to have gone quiet and I don't like it.
I want to be reunited with my beautiful selfless generous wife - we never liked being apart from each other for very long and this departure is killing me from the inside out.
I ask god each night if he will allow me to 'go home' but he never does.
I have asked my wife to find a body to 'walk in' as I have heard about that possibility but I know that I am desperate to be with, to love, to spend the rest of eternity with my soul mate.
Am I going crazy or is this just part of the grieving process.

 

[Tinkerman]

Dear Friend, I'm sorry for your loss. Death leaves such an unquenched reality when the person was so deeply entwined in our soul. I can relate to your situation, and in fact many years go used many of the same words you used above, especially in what other people would think. But my story was one life time back, and the loss was of my wife and two children in 1906. If you wish to read more it is in the archives under my name, or you can see it here. I've spent the better part of this life trying to understand the loss of my family back then, and what I've learned is that we simply cannot know it all with any certainty. Thus, I would propose a third response to your query: I'm Not Certain.

I was reading a book the other day in which the author quoted a beautiful Tibetan myth that can help us accept our sadness. It said that all spiritual warriors (however you choose to see them) have a broken heart, and must have a broken heart because it is only through the break that the wonder and mysteries of life can enter us. I think we must break free from the chains of need, yearning, loss, and emptiness--not escape them entirely, we can't. But to open our mind and soul to what comes next. The journey is long and often sad beyond recourse, but we survive and persevere. For me the answer was to explore and learn life... to seize every day and every breath with an enquizitive mind set. Today my sons from that life are my sons in this life. I've had the great joy of watching them grow into manhood. My wife from back then? She is here in this life too, but our circumstances do not allow for our lives to entertwine. AND... that's ok, it is beautiful. I see life today as a cascade of souls, events, and experiences; none of them so rigid or defined that they stop us from living. In my opinion life is malleable, our souls are malleable; we are tested, shaped, and drawn in the forge of life. Accepting that basic premise has saved me from many days of self-pity and loneliness.

I wish you well. I think you have come to the right place to explore your thoughts. May your journey continue to have stumbling stones that teach you...

Blessings, Tinkerman

 

[cloud potato]

Definitely a part of the grieving process. And I believe time is not the same experience in Heaven as it is on Earth. I'm not saying we can't experience Heaven here. I'm saying, 30 years is nothing compared to the Soul.