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Newbie Post-- "Stuck" in the Victorian Era?

M

MadelineMoon

Madeline Moon
:confused: Hi everyone,

I've been interested in past lives for a while now & have had several dreams/memories plus one regression, but there is one particular life I really feel the need to find out about.

Ever since I was a child I have always felt the most "myself" when wearing long skirts and had vivid dreams of being in an enormous house, the kind that makes a Queen Anne mansion look like a summer cottage. Rather than being afraid, I found it very exciting and fun to get "lost" in the various rooms, halls & passageways. Lately I've become rather obsessed trying to find something like it, taking numerous online tours of various buildings to no avail.

Most of the house is dark wood paneling-- you enter the front and there is a semi-circle of ornate doors that lead various places. The double doors in the front lead to a huge ballroom with a black & white marble checkered floor, with gentlemens' and ladies' staircases in the back which go up to a balcony, where partiers could drink champagne and gossip about the dancers. There is a domed stained-glass skylight that is at least 3 stories up and magnificent, like a sun that lights the interior. Surrounding the ballroom are the more business & entertainment rooms such as dining hall, hall of records, hall of weapons, billiards & smoking room, etc. In the back there is a conservatory with an indoor "grecian bath" that has a blue mosaic pool, and some fish ponds. Upstairs is a convoluted array that I almost think must have been designed to be deliberately confusing-- mostly bedrooms and sitting rooms with two sets of halls, one for the guests and owners, the other going behind the rooms so the servants could enter without being seen.

A couple more facts and details about me-- I'm very drawn to bustle era and edwardian clothes but not the 1890's "leg o' mutton" sleeves. I also had a dream once that I was getting ready to go to a ball in a pale blue gown, to visit "Sir Michael Kay of Manchester". I keep seeing myself in royal or navy blue, very petite with what I would say is henna- colored hair. I had another dream where I was told to put on a navy dress for an engagement, and then I was swinging on a swing but then I saw blood. This confused me and I don't know what it meant.

What bothers me about all this is that I really feel like I'm in the wrong time and I want to go back. I am so strongly drawn to the dresses and houses and yet it is all so incongruous to my life. I have thought wierd things like "when womens' hemlines went up, the world went to hell", when of course I wear jeans and other modern clothes! I read the opium den thread and I also feel that same type of bohemian excitement when I hear about or see absinthe and opium.

Needless to say I'm confused and don't know whether to follow my heart's desire and enjoy my Victorian oddities or if I need to "move on". Also does anyone remember being a ghost or haunting a place? I really feel that I had such a strong attachment to this place that I might have stayed there even after I had died. Sorry this is so long!

Cheers,
Madeline
 
Hi Madeline,


Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

Needless to say I'm confused and don't know whether to follow my heart's desire and enjoy my Victorian oddities or if I need to "move on"
Click to expand...
Although I think it is important to be fully present and focused on the NOW, I see no reason why one cannot enjoy certain things they love from their pl’s. In some form – many of our strong likes and/or dislikes are carried over from our pl’s. ;)


Aili
 
Welcome to the forum Madeline! :)


I understand you, because the British Victorian era has always been also my favourite. :) Do you think you lived in that fancy house? Do you think it was England? Do you know anything else from that lifetime? Have you tried to look up "Sir Michael Kay of Manchester"?


Sorry for so many questions, but I just got interested and curious. :o


The house really sounds magnificent. I think you must have had a very happy life there, as you are so drawn to the era. I agree with Aili, you should definitely focus on this life, living the very now, but at the same time you can keep the Victorian era as a "hobby" by all means. The world is full of history buffs - whether they are interested in past lives or not! ;)


I know some people, who remember not finding their way directly to the Light after their death, so I guess they were ghosts in a way.


If you are comfortable with sharing, I'd love to hear about your other past lives you know of! :)


Karoliina
 
Welcome to the forum Madeline, and thanks for sharing your very detailed memories.


I agree with what the others have said, i don't think there's any harm in wanting to go back to that life (i've been in a similar situation myself) i think it's just something that your subconsciousness needs to work through in it's own time, but it is also important to keep both your feet planted firmly in the life you're in now... ;)


I'm not being very modest here, but i'll give you a link to my thread...Lisbet's life...so far. If you start reading from post #32, i was asking similar questions to yours...and i got some wonderful replies from some of the members here.


Have you ever tried, or considered trying a meditation? There are many good audio cd's that can help you with is, or perhaps you could consider having a past life regression?


I hope you enjoy yourself here, and i'm looking forward to hearing more from you... :)
 
Thanks for your quick responses!:thumbsup:


I'm very curious about it also-- I think I must have either lived there or worked there. I'm not sure if it was England or New England in the U.S. I've tried goolgling Sir Michael Kay but got some sports related figures so no luck yet!


I am definitely open to trying meditation or another regression-- I am hoping to get some more factual information that can be researched. I feel like this place exists and that I would find either photos or a painting of myself either at the building itself or related to it, if that makes sense.


In terms of allowing myself to re-experience aspects of the Victorian era, I have very mixed feelings-- I have an appreciation for Zen decor and minimalism as well as a certain level of guilt associated for any type of materialism that leaves me with a lot of conflict and anxiety. If someone threw a lot of money at me right now I have no doubt that I would buy a big old Victorian house, some fancy bustle gowns and start throwing some parties. All are invited lol!


I will post my other memories on another thread in the future; I'm delighted that you're interested!


Thanks again,


Madeline
 
Madeline, Welcome to the forum! I really enjoyed reading your description of the house, it sounds beautiful. I completly understand the feeling you are talking about, as im sure alot of people here do. But I think some of us are different, some have the nostalgia and the love of their decade, but then some want very badly to go back there. I dont think that is good to feel that way, all the time. I still feel that way at times, and i have gone through periods where i was very unhappy to be living in the present time period. My opinion is if we feel that way, we must have something we needed to finnish, or failed in someway during that time period. That in our mind we want so badly to go back and fix it. Not realizing we can fix it in the present.


I would also love to hear about your memories, and regressions to that life. Keep us posted. and again welcome to the forum!
 
Hi Madeline,


Welcome to the forum.


I understand the feeling of nostalgia you are experiencing. I have not had that so much as some of the others here, but there are still some things from past lives that just make me feel good. For instance my favourite music is from the 1930s and 40s. It was very odd for a teenager to like Frank Sinatra and know the words to the old Cole Porter tunes when I was growing up in the 60s and 70s, but I have always been a bit odd. :D


However, obviously you can't actually go backwards in time (not yet). There is a possibility that your feeling of longing and yearning for that time is to do with a certain person from that time who you are missing. From my own experience, if you are actually yearning for a certain person, usually because of some unresolved feelings, the chances are they may pop into your life again some time soon.


I would highly recommend you take a look at the Past Life Regression section of the forum which is full of tips and tricks on how to uncover more memories using various methods. It seems you are right on the brink of recalling something which is obviously highly significant to you in some way. By the sound of things there is more than one life-time bubbling away there. Opium dens and absinthe don't really seem to go with the sort of fancy society balls and wealthy lifestyle you describe. Or, could you have been from a different class at the time and longed to be part of all that back then? It would be good to know.


Personally, although it is all very interesting, I don't think factual verification is important at this stage. I would concentrate on getting more memories and piecing together whatever it is your 'subconscious' is trying to tell you, focussing on the emotions and underlying themes (as opposed to architectural details and all that). Later (much later) when you think you have got as many memories as are going to come and have pondered on it at length, then you can have fun checking the facts and amazing yourself at how accurate it all is. If you do too much research and reading early on (especially if you are beginner) it can interfere with the whole process, the spontenaity and the deep workings of the 'psyche' by getting the rational mind too engaged in the whole process.
 
My experience is that 'living in the now' isn't something that works if you're stuck in the past.


Being stuck in the past means, being stuck in the energy that is part of certain memories or emotions.


As soon as the emotions are released and integrated, the soul moves on by itself.


Moving on happens when the soul is ready, it can't be forced.


I've also been stuck in the past and I took plenty of time to explore,


write down, research and act out some of my most intense memories.


I had to, because the energies of my past needed to be expressed and released.


I didn't had the help of a regression therapist back then, so I had to find my own methods.


That's why it took me so long to get to the core of my past life problems.


But what I've heard from the experiences of others, it's much easier with the help of a regressionist.


The question is what you would like to do yourself?


Would you like to absorb the Victorian atmosphere a little bit longer,


and to look around in your past life, or would you like to get to the core and move on?


I would say it's not that bad to linger and to look around.


It can be very soothing and inspiring.


But if the past starts to hurt and you'll become frustrated with your current life


then it's perhaps time to let go with the help of a regressionist.


Because regressions aren't only great to collect past life memories,


they're actually meant as a therapy for past life integration.


And it helps, I've heard, the memories will still be there, but it makes the memories less emotionally charged.


Curious Girl (another ex-Victorian ;) )
 
Hello Madeline,


I was just playing around a little and googling. I found some information on a mansion in Connecticut that fits to your description to some extent. It has burned down now, but it was called Galesi Estate. The rock star Alice Cooper lived there in the 1970's and the only information I could find was on his site. :rolleyes:


http://www.sickthingsuk.co.uk/misc/mansion.php


I guess it's not the same to every detail, but if you would like to look more into it, maybe you could find some info of the Galesi family on some genealogy sites.


Karoliina
 
Oh wow guys, thanks! It's really cool to know there was a Michael Kay at that time. And I read the discription about the Galesi estate and that really does sound close, about the right size. Plus the fact that it was hidden by trees, that's spot on.


Last night before falling asleep I tried to get a name, an estate name and a location but I don't know if they were accurate? I got Nashua New Hampshire, Dunmere estate and Laura Whitby. As it turns out Nashua is right outside of Manchester, Dunmere is a summer estate close to the Newport RI mansions, and there is record of a person named A. Laura Whitby born 1866 in Providence! I'm wondering if Michael Kay could have travelled to America or visited and hosted a ball. That could account for my (extremely girlish) excitement. I'm a little skeptical about the whole thing because it seemed too easy lol but it seems like the general time frame and location. I estimated my birth year to be the mid to late 1860's so that works too.


There was also mention of missing a person and that is also the case-- I've been pining over a very "British-looking" man whom I call "Jason" for years, though he has long hair and I don't know if he's from that time period or not because hair was not typically grown long by men during the Victorian era. Very aquiline and aristocratic features, intimidating and sarcastic but very kind as well, sort of a double-edged sword personality type. He wears a gold ring with a crest on it, something he'd use to sign documents. I think it had something like a lion or a dragon on it, with a ruby. I originally thought I had made all this up but when I told a few people in confidence they were completely amazed at the detail and said it didnt seem like a story. I am hoping that I can find him and that he's not on the other side.


Thanks again for all your help and support!


Cheers,


Madeline
 
Just to add some more detail-- The dream about my engagement dress and the swing was vague & it made me think of an accident-- like I died suddenly or was pushed, but I wouldn't discount any possibilities at this point. I can say that when I initially saw the movie "Moulin Rouge" I hated it because the lead character had tuberculosis (or consumption). Generally I don't have lung problems but last year I had two consecutive upper respiratory tract infections and joked that I had consumption because I couldn't stop coughing.


As for Jason, I do have more of the disembodied soul mate feeling about him. I picture him with a long braid and gold earrings and feel that he is a merchant marine or possibly almost a sort of pirate. But I also affiliate him with the estate so that confuses me. I can picture his room as being mostly of a dark red with a medieval type of tapestry on the wall and a leopard skin rug on the floor, complete with the roaring head attached! Turkish rugs and a black marble bathtub with gold lion heads. Really over the top and not even my taste from a Victorian standpoint. I don't know if any of this is really accurate since I do have a vivid imagination.


Thanks again,


Madeline:)
 
I had another thought of my dream where I'm wearing navy blue and I'm on that swing and I see blood. The "dress" was navy with a white collar and what I realized is that it resembles a bathing costume from that time. I think that I misunderstood that I had to wear this for an "engagement"-- this is referring to an event, and not getting engaged. This adds authenticity to the dream because I would currently not refer to a party or event as an engagement. As an aside, in this life I am not at all fond of navy blue (to wear), I would rather just wear black.


I am very happy and excited that so many people have shared my feelings and are adding their own. It's always good to know that I'm not the only one, and I'm not "crazy".


Cheers to all,


Madeline
 
An update on my house memory


Hi all, I just had a small revelation pertaining to my memory of the very large house that I used to dream (and daydream) about. I was watching the Masterpiece theater of Jane Eyre, and the manor house that Jane's cruel relatives lived in had an entrance way with a checkered floor leading into a large room! I was very excited because this is the first time I have actually seen this checkered pattern in a diagonal, on a marble floor.


Another building I found is called Oheka Castle in NY. It is a huge manor house and this has both the same type of floor, and a long thin indoor pool also.


This is still very much a jigsaw puzzle but I am hoping that I will begin to see more pieces. :)
 
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