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My son's Pediatrician thinks he may have "past life issues"

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Terresa

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Please excuse my ignorance - I've never given any of this much thought until yesterday. I have a son who is not quite 3 yrs old. he has always been very active and has always displayed extremely aggressive behavior. Lately it has gotten much worse. He has been having temper tantrums that border on violent fits of rage. He yells things like "I'm bigger than you", "I'm gonna get you" and once he said "I'll kill you". He hits and kicks and when it's over, he's one of the most loving children I've ever met.

When he plays make believe, it's always "Kill, Kill, Kill" and "shoot" and things like that. I can tell he really wants to be nice and be loving, but he can't seem to control himself. Freinds keep telling me, "he's 2, he'll grow out of it", but it goes beyond that. I also have a 9 month old daughter. He absolutely adores her 98% of the time. He kisses her and huggs her and wants to hold her all the time. But when he's playing, he seems not to realize that she's a person and he'll just whack her like she's a toy that's in his way - and he's surprised when she starts screeming.

My husband and I do not understand where all of this rage is coming from. He hasn't experienced anything is his little life that he should be so angry about. We are very affectionate with both of our children. I am a stay at home mother and my children are my world. I took my son to his pediatrician yesterday to discuss this. I thought she might recommend some sort of behavior modification or counseling, but instead she tells me that she thinks my son has past life issues. I have to admit that I think I was so shocked that my brain couldn't focus on anything she said after that point. She wanted me to consent to trying something would free him from these issues and I gave it because I'll try anything at this point - I'm exhausted!

I'm not at all sure of what it is that she want to do, although I do remember that she said he wouldn't really even know that anything was going on. I stumbled on this web site while trying to do some research on the matter, but haven't really seen anything that pertains to my situation. I don't think my son has ever had any past life "memories", however, a freind reminded me today that my son would awake screaming bloody murder as and infant and I often wondered what he could possibly be having nightmares about at his age.

My husband and I initially considerd that our pediatrician is insane and we need to get a new one, but we are trying to remain open minded. Besides, she's an excellent Doctor. If anyone has any thoughts, my open mind is eager to hear from you.
 
Hi Teressa,

I think it's absolutely fabulous that your pediatrician brought up possible past life issues. Many medical professionals stick to traditional medicine, and this one has opened a new- and scary!- door. I would suggest to read Children's Past Lives by Carol Bowman. I have not read it but I have heard it's excellent.

When I was an infant, I woke up screaming like crazy! Every time my mother would put me to bed, I would scream and when I was in my two's I banged my head against anything. My mother was really scared and took me to the doctor. He said not to hold me, just to leave me alone in the room and let me scream myself to sleep. I even remember being alone in the crib in my room- the dark, the feeling of awful abandonment that has haunted me my entire life. My life lesson is to learn that I am never alone and to live my spiritual truth. Anyway, this was 1961 and 1962 and, of course, doctor's did not have knowledge about past life issues like today. I truly believe that my behavior was related to a past life, but I've gotten no further than that.

If you read more in this forum, I guarantee you will find you and your situation are like many people here. Please know that you and your husband and son are not alone. Even though I don't have kids I know the participants here are extremely supportive.

Please hang in there and keep reading, posting, and let your mind and heart stay open.

By the way....WELCOME!!

Susie
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Free will allows me to choose my path, but my Higher Power lights the way....


[This message has been edited by Susie (edited 09-07-2001).]
 
I have not replied here in a long time, but I wanted to say that you should not, obviously, leave him unsupervised to play with his little sister. When I was first reading your story, my first impulse is it must be environmental effect. Do you let him watch violent TV shows, and what not. Do you let him play with toy guns and such? If he has violent rages, perhaps you should just give him cars, and the like. If you can rule out all environmental effects, then I would seek a second opinion. Maybe there is some hormonal or chemical imbalance which can cause rages. It could be a past life experience, you never know.

However, from your description of the diagnosis from the doctor, it sounds like she didn't do any tests or anything, but listen to the behavior. I think past life trauma would be something you conclude or consider after you have exhausted more reasonable explainations, and if she were my child's doctor, and told me that, she would no longer be my child's doctor. However, I am a bit of a sceptic when it comes to immediately accepting reincarnation as a possibility.
 
Oh, wanted to quickly add that my 2 and half year old daughter behaved much the same way to her little sister. 98% percent of the time they got along fine, then she would do something like hit her littler sister for no reason. I suppose had she been a boy, she may have reacted more aggressively even. My wife has taught her, when she is mad to stomp her feet to take the aggression out because she has always had a temper too.

[This message has been edited by Jim (edited 09-07-2001).]
 
Thank you susie and Jim for your responses. Jim, my son is only allowed to watch PBS and Nick Jr. on TV. He has no toy guns, but turns his other toys into guns (legos, pieces of race track, etc. I do not leave my daughter to play unsupervised with or without her brother - she's only 9 mos old. However, it happens so fast I'm not always able to stop it. I spoke with his Pediatrician again this morning. She also wants us to try some homeopathic remedies. If there is no marked improvement in the next 2 weeks, she said she is all for calling in a child psychiatrist. She said she wants to try the least tramatic possibilities first. I'm willing to try this for a little while since there is really no negative side to it and if it is chemical or psychological, I don't thing 2 more weeks will hurt anyone but me (literally).
 
Welcome to the forum Terresa,

Maybe you could encourage him to draw pictures of his feelings? Art is a wonderful way for children to help 'you see' what they remember or are concerned about. His past life memories may surface this way, or issues in the present moment. Only your son and you will know for sure.

Maybe ask him to draw what he is angry about, or his feelings. Then... and even if you cannot tell what they are..ask him to tell YOU about the pictures.

And always tell him what a great picture it is!!


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Love,
Deborah

Lifes experiences weave a tapestry of knowledge
 
WOW! I totally WANT your pediatrician! Are you in Aos Angeles by any chance? I would LOVE a dr. who was willing to look at "all" possible causes of unhappiness/illness.

This is a good place for you to be. Please read everything and see that there are many, many people who believe in reincarnation (ie half the world believes it - Buddhism & Hinduism etc). I hope you can see past your initial skeptisism and see if her suggestion has any validation for your child.

Welcome and I hope you find what you are looking for!
 
Hi Terresa,

I think trying homeopathy first is a good step. Even if his behavior stems from a past life and not from this lifetime, homeopathy can help. Sounds like you ahve a wise doctor.

If the homeopathic remedy doesn't work, I can probably help your son without having to talk with him. I have done past life healings on children just by talking with their parents or grandparents. You can find out more about my work with children here: http://www.youaredivine.com/children.html

Blessings,

Bob
 
Hi Terresa

I think Deborah’s idea of Artwork is a great start, children are particularly gifted when it comes to being able to “create” and “expose” their inner feelings through other outlets - be it writing, drawing or play…perhaps even getting him to tell you a story about what his playtime adventure was about when he next exhibits this more “violent” play, will help shed some light also.

Another good start would be maybe keeping a journal of his play activities, it may prove revealing over time…because, by noting his daily activities and such and comparing the days or times when his behaviour changes, you may find a common trigger…of course, it could also prove valuable to your paediatrician further down the line. Easier said than done I can imagine when you’re not sitting in the middle of two young kids all day, but it’s an idea if you get the time and just jot stuff down from time to time.

I can imagine your doctors suggestion was quite shocking at first, especially when you’ve not been exposed to the information before…but it’s so refreshing to see a person in the medical profession so driven to keeping every option open for each of their patients, that despite your first initial responses and thoughts, you may have struck a gem instead. It is obvious that your sons happiness is your doctors upmost concern, and unlike a lot of doctors (who would probably have your son on medication for behavioural difficulties in not time), she is willing to try every avenue.

She is obviously aware of your initial feelings also and is looking into every other alternative first, I think your sons in good hands right where he is.

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Lots of Love
Kelly




[This message has been edited by Kelly (edited 09-07-2001).]
 
Thank you all very much for your input, I have found all of your replies very helpful and supportive. Bob, I am going to check out your web site as soon as I am done here. Madison, sorry, I live in NC - I am originally from New England, but anyone who has ever been to NC might understand a little better why I was so shocked when my son's doctor first mentioned "past lives". Not the norm here in the Bible Belt! Thanks again to every for your support.

Still keeping an open mind and and open heart.

Terresa
 
Terrsa,
I would imagine that you would be shocked when your pediatrician suggested that your son's behaviors and rage could be related to a previous life. But, in the context of everything else going on in this Forum and the cases I've seen over the years, her suggestion is not that startling. In fact, I'm intrigued that she would go out on a limb and even suggest a past life cause for his behavior. (I'd love to know who this pediatrician is!)

Please try to get a copy of CHILDREN'S PAST LIVES and read it before your next visit to the doctor so you'll have some understanding of how past lives can affect a child's personality and behavior. Then you may both work together in dealing with your son before you have to resort to psychiatric care and possible medication. Using a past life approach, i.e., asking your child about his anger, if he remembers when he was big before and was in a dangerous situation, who is it that he's trying to kill, or asking him to draw pictures about what he's feeling certainly can't harm him. If you're on the wrong track, he'll brush off your remarks. But if there is something from the past still traumatizing him, you may be on the path to healing. (There's much more about that in the book--more than we can get into here.)

You may notice other aspects of his personality, or remarks he's made that suddenly fall into place in the reincarnation context.

Please keep us posted and let us know what your pediatrician says/does and how your son progresses. If you have any further questions after reading the book, post them for us.


------------------
Carol Bowman
http://www.childpastlives.org
 
Carol,
Thank you for your reply. My Pediatrician has recommended that I read your book and I am going to her office to pick it up tommorow. I did ask him if he remembers anything from before he was born and he told me, "Yes, I was old and I died." and that was all he wanted to say on the subject. I can't really say if this was a past life recollection because our family dog passed away and that was pretty much a summation of what we told our son about the dog. Again, thank you for your response and for this forum.

Terresa
 
Hi Terresa,

I live in NC, too. Here in Asheville I know doctors who are aware of past lives. Of course, there are other parts of NC in which such knowledge is less prevalent. I'm glad you've found one who is wise and helpful.

Blessings,

Bob
http://www.youaredivine.com
 
hi Terresa,
I have only just read your letter but I was really interested because I went through a very similar situation with my daughter. She used to have horrendous temper tantrums during which she would tell me that she hated me and that she wanted to kill me and that she would get her real mother to kill me . The behavioural problems started when she was 1 year old and continued until she was nearly 7 at which point I found a copy of Carols wonderful book and through her excellent advice I was able to actually help my daughter to deal with her past life issues. She is now 8 years old and I think that I am starting to recover from the experience....it was an extremely difficult time. She does not remember any of the things she used to say about her other life now and she gets annoyed if I try to discuss it but I am just so relieved that at long last she has been able to move on from all of the issues which she had.
Terresa try to read Carols two books and use the advice she gives. Believe me it truly made such a difference and I will always be eternally grateful to her.
With peace and blessings,
englishrose
 
Hi there
New to this page and just read your post. I too am very impressed with the pediatrician who is willing to consider past life causes for your son's behavior and homeopathic remedies!
Something else to consider are alergies. People don't realize how algeries can affect a kid's behavior. Keeping a journal is an excellent idea as it will help you document the content of his rages as well as the triggers. This will go a long way to finding out if there is an allergic connection.
Meanwhile, past life memories are as good an explanation as any. Allergies are just one more thing to rule out in your search for answers.
BJM

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Today's mightiest oak is just yesterday's nut that stood its ground.
 
Dear Teressa,

You got many wise advices and I also think your son may be remembering events and having feelings from previous lives. Nevertheless, I think that there may exist a second possibility.

Children younger than 7 years old are almost all speaking and/or acting unconscious mediums. Most children at such an age have their spiritual senses only slightly active whereas a few, as may be the case of your son and is the case of one of mine, have their senses more active. There is a chance, although small, that a discarnate spirit is using your son to bother and hurt you. Please don't feel worried about that. Believe me, it is something much more common to happen than most people think.

Considering there is a possibility, no matter how small, I would like to suggest you a remote spiritual treatment for him. There are no charges involved and it is done in a very serious Spiritist Center here in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Even in the case mediumship is not the reason for his strange eventual behavior, spiritual treatments are always good for us. Please let me know if you accept my suggestion so that I give you instructions.

Much Peace,

Renato
rnorbert@uol.com.br
 
Dear Theresa,

Hello,

If you are interested in my opinion/advice, please read on:

I recommend you ask other people you know who have slept with or near their children (crib near bed, or during naps) how they feel about this and if it was a good experience for them. Also, notice how their children behave and how they feel/react to emotional issues.

I read many, many, books on different ways to respond to children's needs before I had my children and I came to the conclusion that the thing my children need most from me is ME (and of course my husband). So, when my babies cried at night I held them and rocked them and slept with them, until they were about three years old. As a natural progression, like weaning from the breast and potty training, we weaned our children out of our bed.

I have the most beautiful, well rounded, brilliant children, (both of my children have IQ's above 135) and they are so emotionally stable and gentle; I know that they just needed that when they first came here.

With all the busy things you have to do (even house mom's, because honestly, I think you even have a harder job than working mom's- I used to stay home so I know) the precious safety of your arms and comfort of your loving embrace when he wakes up would be a God send to your son. HE NEEDS YOU NOW. You probably already feel it inside when you see him sleeping so sweetly, you want to hold him... give in!!! Hold him every single chance you get. If sleeping with him at night is too much, try laying with him in his room before he sleeps for a half hour. Or maybe you could hold him during naps.

Your son is also experiencing the normal adjustments of having a new baby sister, and this coupled with the possibility of his past life memories haunting him, I think he needs more of your energy. I believe that the more time he spends with you, even if it is sleep time, the more your loving energy will be absorbed and healing to him.

This is the life we must focus on now. You are extremely important to your son and the way you respond to him is vital to his emotional well being. Give, give, and give some more. Studies I have read have proved that when an infant's needs are met at the onset of life to the first five years, that they then grow on to trust that the world is safe and that they can bond and create healthy relationships. They also are much more likely to follow their parents wishes and listen to them and trust them because they had their wishes met, their needs heard and responded to and their trust needs met.

You sound to me like a very loving, caring, genuine person who wants the best for her children. Their is nothing, absolutely nothing, that is more valuble then your love, all of it (keep being the wonderful mom you are- he chose you because of this!;-) how precious and special this is!!) Hold nothing back... it will, I promise you, come back ten fold.

Lastearthling




[This message has been edited by Lastearthling (edited 11-05-2001).]
 
Hi everyone - and thank you all for your advice. Lastearthling - I truly believe you are right about everything you said. I have always held my children as they fall asleep, both for naps and at night. They both sleep soundly through the night now, but if they cry, I go to them and hold them. I cuddle them and read to them throughout the day and spend every minute I can with them.

To give you all an update on what's happened in the last 2 months: Our pediatrician actually performed some sort of past life healing in addition to putting him on a homeopathinc med for 3 weeks. We have changed his diet and eliminated white sugar and flour as much as possible. We have cut his milk intake in half (he used to drink a ton of milk and apparently, too much milk throws your calcium/magnesium balance out of wack and does a number on your nervous system). We have done some behavior modification and given him some tools to use to help him deal when he starts to feel himself loosing it. We have turned his room into an extreemly tranquil environment, with ocean sounds, puzzles, books and other quiet activities and this is where he goes when he needs to take a break and calm down. He gets special uniterupted "mommy" time and "daddy" time every day. MY SON HAS NOT HAD A TANTRUM FOR 6 WEEKS!!!!! He has always been a very loving child, now he knows it. He no longer refers to himself as "mean" and he believes, as we have always told him, that he is a good boy. I am so much calmer and happier not having to deal with the tantrums and it is having a wonderful snowball effect on the whole family. I'm not sure if any one of these things had more impact than any other and frankly, I don't care. The bottom line is that my son litterally transformed before my eyes in a relatively short period of time and we will continue to anything and everything to keep him happy and healthy.

Terresa
 
Dear Terresa,

I am happy that your son got better after you changed his diet and his living environment.

Both the diet and the environment changes you did affect positively both his physical and astral bodies.

Much Peace,

Renato
 
Hi Terresa

So glad to hear your little gem is coming along so well...he is a lucky boy to have such an attentive and loving mother and father.

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Lots of Love
Kelly



[This message has been edited by Kelly (edited 11-07-2001).]
 
I don't know if I agree that TV has any effect on *normal* children. My girls, like me, love psychological thrillers. I have never controlled the movies they watch. And I have to say they are the most loving, compassionate people I know. It could be that I have always informed them that what is on TV isn't real and shown them many times where you can see a camera in a reflection.
As far as your son goes. If he were mine. He'd never know that I was concerned about him having a problem. Children are very funny in they seem to be able to over hear a lot more than you think. When he started his acting up I would try to take his mind to other things like, "Hey, would you like to help me make a cake for daddy when he gets home?" or "Come look at this beautiful butterfly outside."
If you really believe that he is acting out some past life. Try reading some of Edgar Cacye's views on reincarnation. You'll find them very interesting and most helpful.
 
Sherri, thanks for your input. I am happy to hear that your children are such loving individuals. Please don't get me wrong, I have stated many times that my son is a very loving and caring person, but when he goes into a rage (which fotunately hasn't happened in several months), it's immediate and extreem and redirection isn't an option - I don't think you can understand it unless you've lived with it yourself. As far as TV goes, my son emulates EVERYTHING he sees, be it TV or real life. He very clearly understands that TV isn't "real", but that really is of no consequence. And he is only 3, I think Barney and Dora The Explorer are plenty for him.

Terresa
 
i tried to reply to this yesterday until i accidently knocked myself offline...

i have a 3 yr old boy as well and a 19 mos old girl. my son (timmy) has always been very agressive. my husband and i have always thought that he got it (genes) from my husband. don't get me wrong, he's not a violent man but he was aggressive when he was a child too. timmy has just always seemed very much like a bully. he really can be very caring and loving as well. for the most part he's nice to his sister, but those few times that he starts to get annoyed he'll go off on her. one day while watching cartoons, and i'm not really even sure what his sister (hope) was doing but he just went off for really no reason at all and just started punching her left and right. he only watches nick and a few shows on disney but nothing violent. he's got a speech delay so its frustrating i know for him sometimes, but other than that i can't think of why he would be that way.
 
Terresa:

I am so glad to hear how well your son is doing! I find that too much TV (quantity of time) can get my daughter a little agitated. Maybe it's bordom, or something else. I agree, in addition to limiting WHAT TV (non violent nick jr or PBS) I limit time. Anyway, my daughter had some past life issues as well. We worked through it at home, but when the issues were coming up she would get really mean at times. But that has gone.

Marg
 
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