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kstornado11

kstornado11

Senior Registered
I know there are those of you who have excruciatingly painful memories from other lives, of someone ,& you just can't let them go. What do you do if its seems that you are not destined to meet them again in this life?
I have this problem, the horrid MISSING... ever since I was old enough to remember. I remember wandering the fields & forests of my childhood, crying over this person I never knew in this life, & could never explain my memories. At this point in my life, I have come to accept that I may never meet him. I don't get it, why have I always have had these memories & feelings, if they are just meant to torture me?
 
kstornado11 said:
I don't get it, why have I always have had these memories & feelings, if they are just meant to torture me?
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I sometimes think that the past life amnesia most of us are possessed of is a blessing, if only for the very reason that you and a very small percentage are so dearly suffering for the loss of someone in a past life. It is painful enough that we all, at one time or another, lose someone dear to us in this life, let alone all the collective losses during all of our lifetimes. There is no answer for it, but that we all must undergo such pain in any measure.
 
HEY! Kstornado.... so good to see you back.


Great answer Nightrain. The river of forgetfulness is a blessing for sure.


Ks you know I have similar experiences, but I was able to know the other person. I'm not sure what or where I would tell you it has gone... it just is. And from the knowledge and intense longing has come many lessons for this life. That's the way i look at things these days... not so much in a "that's bad/ that's good" kinda way, but in a surrendering acceptance. It simply is. Funny how we always want to DO something about everything.... especially me when it comes to my sacred lover... when in reality there is nothing that won't be done in the journey of the soul. it all has meaning and purpose and the secret (if there is such a thing) is to trust! Trust AND marvel at the mystery. Slowly but surely things unravel and we make sense of our dreams, intuitions and longings. I know you talked about this years ago, so perhaps it will follow you through this life and many to come... what can you learn or understand from it? OR, indeed, can we even "force" understanding. Hmmm lots to ponder.


I promise, these things are not meant to torture you, as much as they really do. (Mortal beings: angel). They are here to make you think... to force you to question just the things you are right now! Where do you want to take it? I for a long time was a shriveled up, sobbing mess. My pity party was all too real. And one day I just knew I had to get up and gather the wisdom to deal with it. There are many great books out there... one I recommend so much I should get some royalties is: Twin Souls: Finding Your True Spiritual Partner by Maurie Pressman MD and Patricia Joudry. What ever you do, don't accept surrender! Dig dig dig until you find an answer. Here is a pretty good thread from recent times: Really a Soulmate


A wise teacher told me last year that we are really never separated from our twin soul, as much as our solitude tells us we are alone. He suggested that meditation, contemplation and prayer are the means by which to direct our longing. If you haven't already, find a meditation master and learn the practice. I think you might just find some sense of direction there!


I wish you well my old friend and fellow Kansan!


Tinkerman
 
Thanks a ton, Tink, & I do hope you had an awesome Birthday!! Meditation is one thing I sincerely do hope to learn, I haven't had much luck with it as of yet; too little time alone, I suppose. I do wish I had the luxury of "The River of Forgetfulness", in this case. I don't mean to whine & complain, but I guess I need to just accept it. It is difficult, the knowing that this life will be without true love, as I just don't feel he is here. Quite depressing, I must say. I try to live my life for my children, but I keep feeling selfish, & mourning the love I know is not going to be this time around. Oh darn --- the library doesn't have the Twin Souls book!
 
I'm experiencing this somewhat as well. My love died before my eyes in a past life. I've seen his death a number of times in my sleep. It hurts to think about him. Whenever I think of even just his name, the memory of his death comes back as clear as day. I haven't met him in this life but I'm hoping I will. We had a deep connection in the previous life. It feels like a big piece of my soul is missing, like I'm not complete. It's hard to describe, but it's hard not to think about it.
 
Hello Kairihikari welcome to our forum! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You will see there are a number of us who have very similar memories and experiences. I think we remember because of the intensity of the emotion in the past life. The sorrow, the pain... AND the joy and passion, were so intense that their residual memory has broken through to this life. I've had the fortune to know, in this life, the sacred love of that life. And it is not easy to deal with. Yet for me it was as if God was showing her to me, teaching me.... my grand lesson, I suppose.


You will find many good threads on the subject... just put the words Twin Soul in the search engine. And if you want I could point you to a couple. Thanks again for joining us. You'll find this a safe place to talk about such things.


Tinkerman
 
This is an interesting thread from a couple of angles. First, I have recently been getting a sense of anticipation...sort of a longing for an individual which I feel I know but I also know that I have not met in this lifetime, and who resonates with that particular vibration (outside of dreams which bring the entire emotional hit without the physical description...or only pieces of it!). It is slowly growing into a sense of yearning, but right now it is simply anticipation...like looking forward to that trip you've planned months in advance.


Second, my ex-fiance came to me in a vision and sparked extensive reliving of memories and emotions we had shared...a very real longing resulted from that, although after investigating the matter energetically (without physically calling or meeting) I found we planned for her to remind me of the directions we had chosen for this lifetime...and the vision of her was intended solely as bait to lure me away from the material road I was on and to help me become aware of the life I had planned. The desire to see her again was incredibly real, and would not have benefitted me in the least.
 
kstornado11 said:
I know there are those of you who have excruciatingly painful memories from other lives, of someone ,& you just can't let them go. What do you do if its seems that you are not destined to meet them again in this life?
I have this problem, the horrid MISSING... ever since I was old enough to remember. I remember wandering the fields & forests of my childhood, crying over this person I never knew in this life, & could never explain my memories. At this point in my life, I have come to accept that I may never meet him. I don't get it, why have I always have had these memories & feelings, if they are just meant to torture me?
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OP is an idiot. The love where you have to see each other regularly to keep the "love" going isn't real love.
 
Looking for Rupert


Ahh here it is. I've been trolling the forum lately for something like this.


For many year I knew I was from WW2, and I often figured I was on the 'wrong' side. (I've had a black boot issue all my life. Thankfully I liked to ride horses so it fit in well.: angel).


As I went through my teen years I started to comprehend a life where I used my writing skills, and I always wanted to be a photographer. (No I was not Leni Riefenstahl.)


So just within the last five years or so I had a memory that opened up a flood gate of emotions.


In the past I had remembered assorted people, many of them quite nasty and the horrible situations that I found myself in. BUT, suddenly here was Rupert in my memory. He was not a great hero, or great lover (he was actually gay). He was the sweetest, most profoundly kind and gentle person I have ever known. And in 1937-38 I saw him die in a mob bombing of a Jewish bakery in Vienna. (He was trying to rescue the inhabitants).


I went through the rest of that life having relationships but never being in love again. In this life I never realized why I have been so nonchalant about not being romantically interested. I sometimes wonder if he is out there now, but I think he's probably still on the other side. In fact he may have been my baby brother who died at birth with some major physical deformities, maybe a carryover of the way he left last time.


But if anyone remembers Rupert drop me a line.


Meow:angel:
 
I used to post here about someone I thought was a soulmate. I think my time away from this forum was good for me because I was able to reflect on a lot of things. I've learned more about my prior lives and how those lives connect with my life/the person I am now. Things I believed then, I now realise I should have listened when I was told many times, "No, he's not the one." This person that I thought was a soulmate...I was wrong. So, I'm still searching for that one that still lives in my heart...the one I can't forget.


I know that in almost all of my past lives, there was one person that I loved and lost tragically. We kept coming back together in each lifetime, only to have to be torn apart. Even right up to the life just before this one. Just a few of the lifetimes we shared:


In a prior life at the turn of the century, I was a Native American male and he was my beloved wife who died during a smallpox epidemic. She was pregnant at the time of her death.


We reunited in the next life in Louisiana but because my great-grandmother had been a slave and he was Caucasian and upper class, we were forbidden by law to marry. We eloped but were killed in a horrific car crash - I was 14 and pregnant.


Again, in Japan during WW2. It was 1945. He was 9 or 10 and I was 6. We were together on the day the Americans bombed our town but got separated by the mass of people running for shelter. We both died that day. He could have saved himself but instead of running for the nearest shelter, he ran back into the crowd, searching for me, and died as a result.


So, the next life, we reunite again...this time in Scotland, in a hospital. I was there because I had contracted TB and he was there because he suffered from some sort of neurological disorder (he was in a wheelchair). He was 9 and I was 7 when we first met. He became my best friend but I died shortly before my 8th birthday. That was the life just prior to my present life now.


He was my friend, my lover, my protector, my entire reason for living. We are not together in this lifetime but what I would give for us to find each other.
 
Soul Connections


Yeah sometimes we pick up people because of need at the time, but there is that one longing that doesn't go away. I'm just surprised that it took me so long to remember Rupert. I guess it was such a loss that I buried him deep in my soul memory.


Here's hoping you meet up with your connection.


Meow:angel:
 
How well I know that feeling of missing some part of you; the feeling of just waiting, you don't know what for. I have been waiting for as long as I can possibly remember, and it doesn't matter what you do, or how you try to change, the feeling is still there. I am repetitively asked by worried friends for example, what is up with me, why don't I have a boyfriend yet, when they are all getting married and having families, and they cannot seem to understand my answer that 'I just don't know. I'm waiting.' To be sure, I am aware of my position, but I can't say what I'm waiting for, I don't know that myself. But I'm waiting nonetheless. I think the hard part IS the fact that as much as they don't understand what you are waiting for, YOU do not understand it yourself.


I wonder sometimes if the reason for having dreams and visions and glimpses of the past is for the purpose of trying to find the answers, somehow..?? Not that it DOES answer many questions, or give you some sensible reason for dangling your life away, but at least it keeps you hoping... in as much as one can make use of hoping about the sensibilities of completely irrational feelings! lol You just hope time or fate will show you the way.
 
...and it doesn't matter what you do, or how you try to change, the feeling is still there...
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@Lynnette - I know exactly how you feel. For me personally, it's only been within the last 5 years that the feelings of wanting this person in my life or at least meeting this person has increased. I've also been told many, many times that whoever this person is, he is also feeling the same and because I am an empath, I can actually feel his emotions. This connection between both of us is so strong that I've actually prayed and cried out to the Angels above to take it away - remove it from me because I just couldn't take it anymore. The longing and sadness of not being together or at least to meet face to face was becoming too much.


Have you heard of the red string/cord of fate?

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of time, place or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. This myth is similar to the Western concept of soulmates or a twin flame.
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St. Michael had showed me the red cord that connected me to this person and when I asked him to please, please cut the cord and free me, he flat out refused. He said that he wasn't able to cut the cord, that the cord could never be broken, and that I was to stop asking him to cut it.

You just hope time or fate will show you the way.
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Very well said because I think that's all one can do, really.
 
So close yet so far...


I know how you feel. I too had the same painful emotions since a little kid till now. But joining this forum, I actually found her. But on the other side of the world (Made me almost cry, and I'm not the type of person who cries easily) she is very famous now but in my PL I didn't have her (I was her best guy friend since childhood till her death). She went with someone else. I never told her how I felt about her. I always visited her whenever possible (her boyfriend is a jerk..) but finding out that she's all well and cared for now keeps me from going insane. But, she is famous so I could see her on videos (thank God she colours them), calms my aching heart but it still hurts. Hopefully, I can meet her again.


PS. This is actually in tune to a fortune cookie I received last year. The message now makes sense. It actually said 'Relive happy memories as long as possible...'
 
I do miss somebody that I've only seen in a recurring dream. Whenever I've had this dream, it impacts me emotionally for days afterward; and I often think about it or about this person for no particular reason. What bothers me the most is that I don't know who she is, but I find myself wishing for the emotions I feel from her and towards her in my dream.


The dream always starts out with me walking up a hill towards a large, Victorian-style house. The sun is shining and it's warm. I turn and walk along the side of the house with the feeling you get when you're going home and have been away for awhile. I see hollyhocks blooming alongside the house, and a rose bush by the gate leading to the back yard. The fence is iron with kind of a fleur-de-lis design on the end of each pole. As I open the gate, I see her in the back of the yard and smile. She is an older lady, overweight, wearing a worn-looking housedress type garment with an apron, and a bonnet. She is working in a garden, picking something and putting them into a big pocket in the apron. She has gray hair and a big hooked nose. Her face is not pretty at all, but to me she is absolutely beautiful...I have the feeling that I've missed her so, so much. She senses my presence and turns around. When she sees me her eyes light up and she smiles a toothless smile. Her smile and her very presence comforts me. She radiates love. And I love her- so very much...we wave at each other and I go into the house to put away the bags I am carrying. I can smell bread baking as I enter, and see the sun shining through the windows "just like I remembered it". I feel that I never want to leave her or that house again. The emotions connected with this dream are overwhelming but wonderful.


The feeling I get is that she is my mother or maybe grandmother in that lifetime-she has taken care of me and loved me. The emotions I feel in the dream are definitely those of a young adult coming back home. But I can't figure out who she is...and I don't think she is with me this time around, so I find myself missing her. Even just typing this and thinking of her brings tears to my eyes; which makes me feel weird because I love my mother this time around just as much. And yet I still miss this other woman...
 
I know how you feel. I miss someone, too, my commanding officer from my WWII life. That might sound strange, but he was so much more than just my commanding officer, he was one of the best friends I had in that lifetime and when he died during the war I was terribly upset. He was extremely young when he died.


I've hoped that maybe he got reincarnated around the same time that I did, and I'll find him somewhere. I just hope that if I meet him, I'll recognize him. It's hard to stand the thought of never meeting him again. We only knew each other for about five years in that lifetime, but it's something I've carried with me until today, so I know there was a lot of meaning to our friendship.


So yes, I miss someone very much.
 
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