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Miscarriage and Reincarnation

J

jadyn

New Member
Hi all, I'm a new member and very interested in the above subject. I have two children, an eight-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter. I miscarried two children in between the birth my son and daughter. I like to think the children weren't lost, at all. Merely delayed.
In fact, I read a story once that implied that very thing. A short story about a mother whose child said something along the lines of, "It just wasn't time for me to be here yet, Mommy." The mother had, of course, miscarried years earlier but had not told the youngster.
Does anyone know where I can find the story again? In more detail, perhaps?
 
Can' help you with the book, but you should go to the 'dreams' thread. My daughter remembered being born one day, and I posted it under 'Jen's Dream'.
 
I don't know about a fiction work with that theme, but Carol's second book Return From Heaven has at least one case study with that particular theme.

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miscarriage...

I've been contemplating writing about this for awhile now and thought I might as well share my experience...

Last year, Mar. 1, I miscarried my fourth child and as devasting as the experience was, it was ultimately enlightening.

When I became pregnant my oldest daughter (I have 3 girls) was not thrilled about the pregnancy at all. One night upon putting her to bed I asked why not? Her response was, "because it's a boy." I said, "how do you know?" "Because I know..." I then asked, "well, then what does he look like?" She, acting put out that I would even ask, said "he has blond hair, lots of teeth and a silver necklace." I asked then, "well, what's his name?" She said she didn't know and then said, "Eric."

I was a bit astounded b/c my husband his entire life has been called Eric on accident. My mom-in-law wanted to name him Eric--I've even called him Eric in a less than appropriate moment.:) There was no way my daughter could have known this.

Time progressed and when I went in for my ultrasound at 19 1/2 weeks it was discovered that the baby had died probably after my last app't. I've never felt so sad in my life--but my children were what helped me.

Then this past x-mas I was upstairs with my youngest, who is 3, when I noticed when someone did not flush the toilet. Jokingly I asked, "who forgot to flush?" My youngest said out of nowhere, "Eric." I said, "Eric who?" She said, "Eric..." while continuing to play. I finally looked at her and said, "who is Eric?" She said, "you know- boy Eric." I was like "Oh--Eric." And knew she was talking about my boy who died--who we named Elliot. I asked if he was here and she said "yes-he wanted to be a girl." I was amazed. Then she went on to tell me that Eric was mean and put her in a cage.

The story continues on how myself, my mom, "Eric", my brother-in-law and mom-in-law and girls were there "before." She told me that Eric put her in a hole and was mean to her. She was not thrilled about him at all--but she said he did become nice later. She also told me my mother-in-law was Eric's mom and his dad, "Claude" was very mean too.

Her having memories was not a shock, b/c my oldest also had spontaneous memories, but trying to figure out how it all works out in the end is sorta amazing. I was sad for awhile to think here now they have to work out this relationship in yet another life, but maybe this was a lesson for our family. Karma's a funny thing.

I am just throwing this out for anyone who maybe has miscarried or has known someone who has--we really are all connected. Children continue to let me know that--

I am done having kids and as hard as this year has been for me, I am lucky to have 3 amazing children that keep me connected to "Eric"--who I am sure to see again--someday.

Peace- Lakeah
 
Hi Lakeah

Thank you for sharing such a poignant and personal post, I'm sure there are many people who will gain much comfort from your words.
 
I'm always amazed by how much kids know, and by extension, how much we knew when we were kids that we have since forgotten.
 
Lakeah,

Just wanted to say thank you for your story. I enjoyed reading it...and at times, my heart went out to you.

In my family we have had many miscarrages...between grandmothers, aunts, mothers and myself...there have been at least 10. Which, I know you know, is devistating. You wonder why it happens to your family. But, your story helped me see it a different way.

The road is long and hard, and as for me...my due date was to be in just around three weeks. I am finished having children. I have one absolutely beautiful, special, and energetic 6 year old boy. He is the most important person in my life!

Thank you again...it takes courage and strength to go through and share these kinds of stories. I believe that things happen for a reason and that sometimes it is best not to question the reason and just try to accept it...at least that is what I am trying to do.

Thanks again!

Mayflower
 
Mayflower-

I am sorry to hear of your loss--it is a long road ahead--one I am sure you'll make it through, but tough none the less. After losing the baby I read a book called "Miscarriage: Women sharing from the heart" by Marie Allen and Shelly Marks and found it a great source of comfort.

Actually after reading it I realized how lucky I was--if I had to lose a baby I feel thankful I got to see and hold my child. The book deals a lot with women who had earlier miscarriages and how society really doesn't know how to address the issue. Society tends to see earlier miscarriages as blessing in that they "weren't really a baby yet" but how to the woman who lost the child your baby is a baby even before you're pregnant. So, losing the child isn't only about the child, but also the image you had as your family.

I think you're right in that sometimes when things like this happen we accept that it is for some greater reason and go on with it--but that's still hard.

You are very lucky that you have your 6 yr.old--I know my children made all the difference. How did he deal with it?
And as sad as it is that your family has had all those miscarriages, at least they can truly understand your loss.

Peace-

Lakeah
 
Thank you for your reply!

As for your question of how did my son handle it? Well I told him that the baby went to Heaven, he thinks that his Great Great Nanny is taking care it him/her. Along with his gold fish. Then last night, he said he'd like to have a baby brother so he wouldn't be so bored. I may adopt some day. The world is full of children, waiting for some one to love them as their child.

Thanks again for your reply,

Mayflower
 
for Lakeah

That's an amazing story - or I should say EXPERIENCE. I am sorry for your loss. At the same time, I think you and your family processed it beautifully. It's a story that fills a person with wonder. Sounds like your life will be more peaceful without Eric in the flesh. Maybe when you do finally get him, in whatever life, he will be easier to live with. Do you think he rejected the body because he wanted to be a girl? Just interested in your feeling on this.--My best to you -- M.
 
About rejecting his body--I really don't know. My mom believes that is it- I just don't know. There's the part of me that wants to analyze it, but the other part knows to deal with it successfully I have to accept that I don't have him in the physical realm and move on.

I read in that miscarriage book that one of the women came to see her baby as her bodhisivatta, which I have that same feeling.
Amazing stuff.

Peace-

Lakeah
 
My sister didn't have a miscarriage, she had an abortion which she didn't really want and it has caused her tremendous emotional and mental pain. Anyway, ever since her daughter was born, she's played with an "imaginary friend". When Helena was old enough to talk, she told her mother that it was a baby boy. Now that Helena is older (7 yrs old) and understands spiritual things, she says he's a spirit and she calls him Thomas.

My sister always believed she was pregnant with a boy and she thinks he just stuck around after the abortion, waiting for his next opportunity to be born. We thought when she got pregnant that he would take that opportunity to be born, but he didn't. Jackson is now 2 months old and he's someone else (that story's a book in itself), and Helena still see's Thomas hanging around.
 
QaHearts--

I totally believe you're right--Thomas could be that unborn child.

In someways, as much as I wish I could've had my baby, I feel just as fortunate to know that spirit is with us.

Your sister is very lucky to have two children, that it sounds like, will grow up to be aware of the world around them.

Peace- Lakeah
 
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