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Memories of The 1930s NY

My PL Memories of The 1930s NY (Part 3)

Hi All,
(I'll continue my story now by relating some of my after-death flashbacks)...Soon after remembering the details of how I died, I had some After-death flashbacks come to me and some of them were quite vivid in an emotional sense...Some of my AD memories and flashbacks were not as distinct as others and seemed almost dream-like, but they still seem real to me.

After I drown, I believe I went into a deep sleep until I was rested.(I don't remember going through a tunnel, or of going "to the light," but I imagine this must happened at the time of my death)...I remember waking up as if from a deep peaceful sleep. I was lying in shallow water near some reeds and the water felt warm...The area I was in was not familiar to me and, (since I didn't yet know that I was dead) I assumed that I must have drifted to another part of the creek...Suddenly I remembered my terrible ordeal and my struggle to stay alive and began reliving the intense fear and panic of my drowning...Just then, I was distracted by a man who was walking towards me. I seem to remember that this man had on a checkered shirt and was dressed like a fisherman. The man was not someone I recognized, but I got the feeling right away that he was a kind man and that he was very concerned about me...The man reached down and took my hand and asked if I was all right and he helped me up, and I walked out of the water...I distinctly remember thanking the man and telling him, "I almost drown." (I remember feeling extremely grateful that this man came to me when he did, as I was still very traumatized)...The kind man put his arm around me and told me he would take me home.

Some of my flashbacks about the conversation I had with this man as we walked along are not real clear, but I do remember that at some point along the way I began to feel very bouyant. I seemed to be bouncing along instead of walking, and my logic began to kick in then. I wondered why I no longer felt the pain in my head and why I didn't feel cold...I remember saying something to the man like, "why do I feel so light, and why am I bouncing up and down when I walk."
As I remember the man just turned to me and smiled and the look he gave me told me he knew, yet he said nothing...I got up all my nerve after that and I asked the man, "am I dead?" He then turned to me and gave me such a warm reassuring smile and his eyes were so full of love that I wasn't afraid, and I think he answered me in my mind.

My AD memories skip then to a time when I'm a ball of light flying along with a larger circle or ball of light that seemed like a father figure. The light (or spirit) seemed to me to be masculine, like a very loving and wise father. I knew he was guiding me and taking me somewhere where I needed to go. I was aware that we had just left a place of great peace and beauty (it seemed like it could have been another planet or another plane of existence)...I seem to remember that this "father spirit" encircled me, so that I could travel with him at a very high speed, and I knew that we were going back in time...I remember we went down into a dark place and then I saw the home where I had lived before I died. I seemed to know that the reason my home was surrounded in darkness was because of all the sadness and grief caused by my death. I knew I had to face the darkness and experience the pain my family had endured following my death and that I had to be brave in order to do this.

As I entered my (former) home, in spirit form, and I could see my family going about there business as if nothing had happened. I soon realized that the time period was after my death, but before my family was aware of my accident and death...I knew that my family was waiting for me to come home so they could eat supper. I could see, and hear conversations and I could also feel the emotions of my family members at times...I remember my brother Johnny being told to go out looking for me and I was right with him as he searched the neighborhood. I could feel Johnny growing angry when he couldn't find me and I remember thinking how sorry he would be later when he found out what had happened to me.

Next I had flashbacks of the terrible pain my family experienced that night when I never came home.-- I was drawn into the intense painful emotions of worry, fear and panic my family went through that awful night... I would also find myself back up on the branch of the tree at times, reliving my fear and panic as the branch broke...I even had a flashback of wishing I could stay back in time (before the branch broke) and change my actions so that my family wouldn't have to suffer.

I also had some vivid painful flashbacks of the following day (soon before my body was discovered)...I saw my mother carrying a sweater in case someone found me and I was cold...I knew there were men searching for me in the creek area. I could see my brother Johnny looking for me in the creek area too. I seemed to be drifting or being pulled, (in spirit) from one place to another and being drawn into waves or emotional pools of worry fear, sadness and disbelief etc...I remember being worried that my brother Johnny (who was only about 12 yrs. old at the time) might find my body. The "father spirit" came to me then and told me to stay close to my brother and try to make him feel my presence at the spot where he was, so that he wouldn't go further down the creek to where my body had drifted...I seem to remember that my sweater had been found in the location where my brother was...I could feel Johnny's emotions as if they were my own. He was crying and he was SO scared. He kept praying to Jesus to help him find me *alive*.-- It was so hard for me to see and feel what Johnny was going through, and knowing he would then have to go through even more pain after he found that I had died.( I cried and cried when I had these flashbacks and I still cry when I relive these painful memories).

Next I remember the "father spirit" calling my name and telling me that the men had found my body. After I heard this, I drifted as if being pulled by a current to where my body had just been found...My body was still in the water, floating on the surface. I remember viewing my body from way up high in the air and it seemed strange and unreal...I remember that there were a lot of people around, but thankfully my brother wasn't there...

I'll continue on with my AD memories in my next post on this thread (Part 3).

In Love & Light,


------------------
Lily~
 
Hi Kelly,
I was wondering why I hadn't heard from you in a while. I'm glad that you were just busy (like we all are at times)...Yes I can now talk or write about even my most traumatic memories,(from my PL) with relative calmness. But there was a time when digging into to those painful memories caused me a great deal of mental pain and turmoil.

I'm glad I found Dieter too and it is interesting how similar our stories are in places...I finally found the time to post about some of my AD memories on a new thread (Part 3) and I'll continue to post more of my story on that thread, (sooner rather than later hopefully).

LOve*Light,

------------------
Lily~
 
Hi Kuka,
Thank you! I'm glad you found my story and this whole thread so interesting. I haven't had time to read many of the other stories here, at least recently, but I've read many interesting stories here at the forum in the past.

I hope you post your PL memories here at the forum soon. I found that it helps me to remember certain things in greater detail when I write my story in detail, but my story is very looong.

LOve*Light,

------------------
Lily~
 
Hi Dieter,
I finally did it, I posted about most of my AD memories on a new thread (Part 3) earlier
today!

If you died in 1953 or 1956, and you reincarnated into your present life in 1960, then you came back very soon just as I did...I believe I died in 1937 or 1938 (but I'm not positive) and I was born into my present life in 1940... Another interesting similarily is that we each came back to the same country where we died, and we speak the same language now that we did in our PL. This in itself may have helped to trigger our PL memories.

I sure hope you're able to sort out more
of your memories, so that they no longer confuse you...Remembering names and dates doesn't come easy I believe unless the names or dates connect to an emotional experience you had in that life.

LOve*Light & (((Hugs)))

------------------
Lily~
 
Hi Lily!

Thank you so so much for writing your experiences for us to read. To be entirely honest, reading your threads I don't feel so crazy, because I started really remembering my experiences the same way ie through going inward (even though I was watching this same actor in many different movies at the time), and then suddenly all these flashes coming. I have never meditated in my life. So thank you, it's kind of like a validation to read your threads. Kuka.
 
Lily

Such emotional memories!!! They must have been very hard to work through in their full intensity – to see all those you loved broken hearted…

I can’t wait to see your next post, I’m wondering if you found it easier in time to “communicate” with your family as time moved on from this point. I’m also wondering what your feelings were in this AD “state” towards Tommy…did he even come up???


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Lots of Love
Kelly
 
Hi Lily

I wondered...have you ever thought of REALLY writing all these memories out in one big continuum and making them available as a short e-book...there are loads of sites on the net that host such files...and I'm sure you'd get a lot of interest and satisfaction from sharing your story.

Doing such a project for yourself could push even more answers your way as well into discovering EVEN more.

------------------
Lots of Love
Kelly
 
Lily I truly truly do find your memories fascinating and similar in style to mine, even though I definitely did live a different life. But one thing that fascinated me was what you saw inbetween lives. It's so wonderful that you saw your family and even kept your little brother away from your corpse. All I can remember was briefly seeing my family upset and in black, in our shop, which was attached to our house. And then I just followed someone. I just remember sticking to them like glue until I decided that I couldn't achieve anything in that state and had to come back. Kuka.
 
Hi Kelly,
Yes, these memories when they came to me were very intense and I had to keep putting them out of my mind so I wouldn't keep dwelling on them and crying.

I don't have any AD memories of Tommy, but I do have a vague flasback of being draw (while in spirit) to where a group of boys were talking about me soon after my death... There was a boy in the group that I considered to be a friend (sort of), he had been a close friend of Tommy's before Tommy joined the gang... The boys were talking about me being a whor* (hooker). The boy I knew and liked stuck up for me, but he said something like "well you can't blame her for being the way she was, did you ever see her mother?"-- I felt he was referring to the fact that my mother wore heavy make-up, and was insinuating that my mother was a loose woman too. This reference to my mother bothered me very much and I wanted to shout at them that this wasn't true, (but of course I couldn't.)-- I seemed to see an (inward) image of my mother wearing heavy rouge on her cheeks, but I knew that this was only because she just didn't know how to apply her make-up correctly. (It's funny, I haven't thought about this flashback in quite a while, and sometimes I wonder if this (not too vivid) flashback was really true, but if it wasn't, why am I now crying?)

I'm going to continue my story soon about my sad AD flashbacks of being drawn into my family's grief following my death... I don't have any flashbacks of being able to connect or communicate with family members while I was in spirit, but I do have a flashback of attempting to give my brother a sign during the time he was in so much pain following my death. (I plan to tell about this in my next installment.)..After I finish telling about the rest of my AD memories, I'll tell about the vivid flashbacks and memories that came to me, of my earlier childhood in that life, (after my real father died, when I was about 5 yrs. old.)

LOve*Light,


------------------
Lily~
 
Hi Kuka,
Thank you for your warm reply and feedback about my AD memories... Yes, it was a blessing that I was able to help my brother stay in the spot where he was, until my body was found. I found it very comforting (when these memories surfaced) to know that I wasn't alone and that the "father spirit" (as he seemed to me, in my flashbacks) was helping to guide me through some of the more painful and critical periods.

I'll have to read your story about your PL memories sometime, they sound interesting!

LOve*Light,

------------------
Lily~
 
Gosh Lily I'm absolutely dying to read your next installment. It's funny, when one of my lecturers asked me what I was reading at the moment I had to be honest in saying the internet. He! I just look so much forward to reading your threads. Do tell us more!!! Please!!!! I'm going to start writing my story today, and then will hopefully post it soon. Kuka.
 
Hi Lily

I am amazed!!
Thank you for sharing with us such wonderful memories.
My father passed away, in 1994 and I felt his presense during all the funeral, now I know why, he was really there, by my side.

can´t wait to read the continuation.

Love, Marita
 
Hi Marita (and All),
I'm sorry for waiting so long before continuing my story...I was just getting ready to post the rest of my AD memories, when we had the terrorist attacks... After this terrible catastrophe I was upset and in shock (as were most Americans). For this reason it has taken me some time to feel up to delving back into these painful memories, but I plan to continue my story sometime tomorrow.

Marita I'm so glad you were able to feel your father's presence during his funeral. I have no doubt that he was actually there with you at the time.

LOve*Light,


------------------
Lily~
 
Hello Everyone,
I'm ready to continue on where I left off with my AD finally.

I have a quick flashback of the day of my funeral. I saw my family and others sitting out side on fold-up chairs near the plot where I was about to be buried. I had the impression of there being a church building or funeral parlor to the left-rear of where everyone was seated. I remember seeing a quick glimpse of my baby brother, (who was a toddler at the time). I noticed that he was with his grandmother (my step-father's mother) and I was surprised to see him there.

I had some very painful flashbacks of being drawn into my brother Johnny's and my mother's grief...Although my mother was very grief-stricken, she had to stay strong for Johnny, Trudy and the baby.My most painful AD memories were of my brother Johnny who took my death the hardest...Johnny was normally a very happy-go-lucky, bubbly boy who always had a smile on his face. My sudden death caused Johnny so much pain and he was so disturbed that all he did was sit and cry or withdraw into his troubled thoughts. My mother kept trying to comfort Johnny, but he refused to eat or do much of anything,(and it seemed this went on for days)...My mother (and I) were very worried about Johnny because he was already very thin. Mother kept trying to coax him to eat, but he kept refusing to eat anything... It was during this time I believe that I tried to give Johnny a sign to let him know that I was still there. I have a faint memory of attempting to knock on the front door, but not succeeding. Then I have a flashback of the "father spirit" coming to me and telling me that he would help me, but that he didn't think it would do any good...As I (vaguely) recall, we put our energies together and then were able to knock on the door (somehow) loud enough for my brother to hear the knock. (the way I have it in my mind was that the father spirit was a larger energy and was able to provide the force needed to make the knocking sound at the door)...I have a flashback of Johnny going to the door after that, but when he saw that no one was there, he just closed the door and sat back down. I don't think he was able to see it as a sign (at least at that time).

Then I have a flashback of trying to get Johnny to break his silence and tell our mother about the boys and the gang. I knew that Johnny was deeply disturbed about these things and needed to get them out.--He felt he couldn't tell our mother because he had promised me that he would never tell anyone...Then I have a memory of Johnny finally breaking down and telling our mother about the boys, the gang, and about all the abuse I had suffered. There was more pain and more tears after that. I not only had to watch (and feel) my brother's pain, but I had to experience my poor mother's pain and heartache once she found out everything that had happened to me, and that I had even been in a gang without her even knowing about it. (This whole period was so painful for me to recall that I cried for days after these memories surfaced).

I had some flashbacks of the first time my family visited my grave site...I saw my mother and Johnny and I think my sister Trudy was there too ( but I was centered on my mother and brother). I could see them walking on the sidewalk, just before entering the cemetery. I noticed ( very sadly) that my brother had on his Sunday clothes (a tan or brown suit I believe). There was a black iron fence with spikes around the cemetery...My next flashback was being with my mother and brother as they walked in what looked like a courtyard where there were a number of tombstones. As I remember they were in front of the church or funeral parlor. (I got the impression that the cemetery was not a large one)...My mother glanced over to look at my tombstone for the first time, and then she began crying, then I heard her say, "they didn't even spell her name right." (this memory was vivid and painful to recall)

I have a flashback of Johnny finally being able to go out and play with his friends and I was so glad that the worst of his pain was over, yet I knew he would never be the same carefree happy-go-lucky kid he had been before my death.

I




------------------
Lily~
 
Hi All,
I accidentally sent my last post (about my AD memories) off before I had a chance to proof read it. Also I wanted to let everyone know that I'll be posting some very vivid memories I have of my earlier childhood (in this same past life) on a new thread soon, (so look for Part 4 of My PL Memories of NY in the 1930s).

LOve*Light,


------------------
Lily~
 
Hi Kelly (and All),
I've thought of writing a book someday, (that is if I'm able to ever validate my memories) but I don't feel I have the writing skills to do this without help ...My father (in this life) was a writer and he was going to help me write my story (in book form) about my PL memories and how they came about, but first we thought it was important that I validate my memories... I was still trying to research my memories when my father passed on,(in 1995)...I don't know if I would be up to writing an e-book, it takes me such a long time to even post my long story here at the forum...Thanks for the suggestion!

I just finished writing the last of my AD memories, (in my Part 3 thread). Next I plan to tell about some vivid flashbacks I have of my earlier childhood, in this same past life, in my next installment.

LOve*Light,


------------------
Lily~
 
Gosh I can't wait to read more. That would be so incredibly interesting Lily if you could find out where the cemetery is, and just verify the details. It really does make me wonder though what people who have passed on have thought when me and my family have gone and visited their grave sites. This is because I never thought anyone would want to see their own graves, or at least, whenever I go to a grave yard it makes me want more just to be cremated and scattered in my favourite places when I die, instead of being remembered as a stone. (and possibly with the wrong spelling on it, hm)
 
Hi Lily

Here and reading avidly as always.

Grief is such a strong emotion….I remember when I lost my granddad four years ago, that I tried my hardest to not consume myself with grief, as I was very aware of the pulling impact this has on the departed soul, and the pain and helplessness they must sometimes feel when they can not “reach” you (easier said than done sometimes, of course)….so I can imagine experiencing this volume and amount of grief (especially poor Johnny’s) was extremely powerful!!!

I found your memories of the culmination of energy to produce the knock (sign) extremely interesting…do you remember anything else about this “energy”???

And the gravestones….do you think if you went back into these memories at all (with maybe a more detached emotional attachment to them), you could maybe catch a glimpse of the details on the tomb to maybe grab some more validation???

Such sad memories…I’m so glad you have chosen to share them though….I wonder, do you gain any healing from opening them up like this, has it pushed you to any further tangents of thought??? I could only imagine if you ever did meet Johnny again, the emotional impact would be very strong – you had one very loving brother and friend there – I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve shared many past lives with each other.

Can’t wait to hear more.
 
When my brother-in-law and, a few weeks after, my mother-in-law passed away, my wife was suffering a lot. So we tried to contact them meditating.
My brother-in-law contacted my wife and he tried to comfort her. When she wanted to contact her mother, he told her that it was not posible, as she was not ready yet. I am absolutely sure he was with us. I could really smell his presence in our room, no imagination I swear.
Some months later, we prepared the altar on All-Saints Day. While alive, my mother-in-law told us that when she was dead she only wanted a glass of water for her on the altar.
So we put a glass of water. Two days later, the glass was empty!

Today, we remember the good times we had with them as often as posible. It’s good for us and I’m sure it’s good for them, too.
Every time I get up at night to board the fridge, I remember my brother-in-law standing in the kitchen at 11 p.m. with a huge sandwich in his hands, filled with egg, meat, sauce, rice, beans and chili and whtaever he could find. He used to call that “small refreshment”…
Wow. He wasn’t fat though!

Love
Dieter
 
Hi Kelly,
My AD flashbacks in general are not as vivid, detailed, and connected as my PL memories, but the intense emotion I felt (and still do feel)when I recall the pain and sorrow my mother, and especially my brother Johnny endured, following my death, have convinced me that they are real memories.

I wish I could remember more detail about the knocking at the door incidents. I had a series of quick flashs is all. It's more a feeling of these things happening, and my thoughts at the time, than actual pictures that I can connect and see.

You ask if opening up these sad memories has helped me heal and I know it has, but most of my healing took place many years ago (during the late 1960s)...I still will cry at times when I go back into my sad or painful AD or PL memories, but the emotions don't take me over the way they once did, I'm no longer overwhelmed by them and I can close the door on them when I choose.

I have thought many times over the years what it would be like for me to finally see Johnny again. There would be many tears I know, at least on my part... Whenever I've seen a family reunion on TV, where two close relatives meet each other again after years of separation, I cry so hard, not only because I'm happy for them, but because I have longed for years to be reunited with my brother Johnny.-- I'm sure we had other lives together, because our bond was very strong, but sadly I didn't realize how much Johnny loved me until after I died..(This is really making me cry)!

LOve*Light,

------------------
Lily~
 
Dear Lilly

I just loved what you shared with us. It answers many questions tu me.

My cousin´s 16 year old daughter got killed 15 months ago in a car accident, she was the youngest and my cousin has been greaving ever since, she looks so old and sad all the time.

She was telling me that she hears her some times calling her "mom" and she has found the lights on in the room that was her daughter´s, when she is sure that they were off. (she stills has her room just the way it was when her daughter die)of course she does´nt know anything about re-incarnacion, just like I did before I found this forum, but she told me, I don´t know what or how, but I can feel my daughter´s presence in my home.

¿how long do they stay with the family?
¿does she (my cousin) has to let her go, so my niece que leave to wherever she is going?
¿and when they leave, where do they go?
¿how can I help this greaving mother?, I think it has been to long already, she doesn´t smile, and even get´s unhappy when her other children go out to a partty or to have a good time.

¿how long did you stayed with your family?

Thank you so much!!!!!

Love,
Marita.
 
Hi Dieter,
That's wonderful that you and your wife were able to contact your brother-in-law through meditation... Then later your mother-in-law gave you a wonderful sign. I bet it really helped your wife when she found that the glass of water that was placed on the alter for her mother was empty after only 2 days...There are many people who get very significant signs from their loved ones on the other side. But you must be open enough to see these signs.

LOve*Light,


------------------
Lily~
 
Hi Marita,
My heart really goes out to your cousin and your whole family...Unfortunately your cousin will most likely continue to grieve for her daughter for a very long time, but her daughter's death should get easier for her to bare as time goes by. Everyone is different and some people grieve longer than others, and this may be because their love bonds go very deep.

I hope your cousin really believes her daughter is actually calling out "mom" and she doesn't just think she's imagining this. Many people hear loved ones (who have passed to spirit) call out their name...When my husband was in a coma, shortly before he died, I heard him call my name twice. When he called my name, I woke up from my (light) sleep to check on him, but he was still in a coma. This happened twice, and he passed to spirit soon after I heard him call my name.

I'll try to answer your questions, but these are only my answers:

(1)How long do they stay with the family ?

(My Answer): They stay as long as their loved ones are hurting deeply and need them to stay...Once they do leave, it's only for certain periods. They still come back and visit often, especially if they are greatly missed, or thought of often.

(2) Does your cousin need to let her daughter, go so that she can move on?

(My Answer) No, Grief is a natural human emotion and when the bonds of love are strong, the pain of loosing a loved one can be very intense. Your cousin needs to be able to grieve and cry and get her feelings out. It's not good for her to hold back her tears... Your cousin's daughter understands that her mother's grief is normal, because of the strong bond of love between them... Of course it hurts her daughter to see her mother in so much pain, but her daughter totally understands her pain...I'm sure she will stay very close to her dear mother and try to make her feel her presence, and give her, her love and strength, until her mother is over the worst of her pain.

(3) When they leave, where do they go?

(My Answer) I don't know the answer to this.-- I believe while each soul has free-will, they also have an overall plan and they receive much guidance from their spirit guides. Some souls may choose to come back (reincarnate) again soon, while others may choose to help other spirits, in a certain area of the astral, or spirit realm. I believe that once a spirit is evolved enough, they choose, or are drawn to help others, out of empathy... I personally don't believe most of us choose to just float on a cloud and go our merry way, while our brothers in spirit, or on the earth plane need our help, love, or guidance.

Can your cousin read and understand English? I know of a wonderful internet grief support group that could really help your cousin, but she would need to be able to read English,(unless you would be willing to translate for her). The name of the group is Afterlife Eternal and they believe in signs and AD communication and they help each other so much. They discuss metaphysical subjects such as reincarnation too...I also have some true stories I could share with your cousin that could possibly help her...You can email me privately if you would like.

LOve*Light,



------------------
Lily~
 
Dear Lily

Thanks for answering all my questions so beautifully as always. I can see why they would still hold such an emotional content and bring about old feelings to the surface when you concentrate on them, but I’m glad to hear that you underwent a lot of healing through them originally.

And I love the answers you gave to Marita – in fact I just wanted to add something for you Marita (I’ve posted this in a previous section back in May on my birthday, but I thought I’d share it all the same, in explanation of the continuous bond that love holds)…

15/05/01
My granddad passed away in 1997, and since then has constantly bought back unique reminders of the eternal nature of love and the bonds they create…whether he “cuddles” me when I’m down, or places his scent in front of my nose, so I know he’s listening…or even just pops up in my dreams for a good ol’ chin wag - he always leaves little reminders around that he’s still very much with me/us….and makes my heart smile, but until today, it had been about 6 months or so, since I last felt him around, so I was definitely not expecting what happened next.

Tonight, while I was getting ready to go out, I was in the bathroom all alone running a bath (the first time I'd been alone all day), when all of a sudden, my thoughts started whirling with memories of my dearest Granddad....I closed my eyes and soaked them up and as I did....my heart started pulsating out of my chest and my whole body felt like a thousand bubbles were popping all throughout – I felt a loving merge within me...and I felt myself smile inside and out as I recognized my Grandad's presence so strongly (it's been a while, but there's no mistaking it)....then echoing through my brain and ears was the most simplest but heart-filling line ever...."Happy Birthday Sweetheart" (Sweetheart was what he always called me whenever he saw me)....well the tears rolled down my cheeks and I just replied "I Love you Granddad", then I felt a touch on my shoulder and he was gone (but I felt him close by all night)....I couldn't believe it, and I couldn't have asked for a better birthday surprise…


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Lots of Love
Kelly
 
Dear Lilly
First of all, thank you so much for reply.

I understand now that is her daughter trying to comfort my cousin, it has been a very hard year for her, 6 weeks before her daughter´s death her mother die of a stroke, and then her daugther in the car accident, and a year after that, a few months ago her father got kill while cutting a palm tree, (he was a farmer) smashed his head.
So I think she has had no rest and probably she is afraid of some other tragedy in her family.

No she doesn´t speak English at all and she lives 2 hours away from me, she is more like the quiet home housewife, I think I am the only computer fanatic here, but I like to visit her often to see how she is doing, and everytime I go there it breaks my heart to see her so sad, aging so fast.

But I will take her next time printed information and show it to her, and if she understands better perhaps she would star feeling better too. I will translate to the best of my ability whatever I can find to help her.

how to e-mail you? I don´t know.

Thank you again. Lilly.

-----------------------------------------

Dear Kelly,

I was reading what you said, of how you remember and is helping me to understand how to remember my own past life. Also about you granddad, it help me understand why I feel my father´s presense sometimes so hard, specially when I am going throught something difucult in my life.

Thank you for answering many questions I had with your memories.

love for all.

Marita
 
Hi Kelly,
I was very touched by your story about your grandfather! Your awesome visit from your favorite grandfather really gave me gooseboomps, and guess what, I think my grandpa use to call me sweatheart too. He also use to tell me I was his little peaches and cream, as he would gently pinch my cheek...I have a story I could tell you about a very wonderful dream visitation I had from my grandfather, many years ago, but since it's off topic, I won't tell about it here... If you would like to hear about my dream visitation from my grandfather, I would be tell you about in a private email, (and Marita too) but let me know first.

I plan to be posting more of my story, about my memories of my earlier childhood in this same PL, (either tonight or tomorrow.) I'll be posting this part of my story on a new thread (Part 4)

Love*Light,

------------------
Lily~
 
Hi Marita,
My heart really goes out to your cousin, I can't imagine the pain she must be going though, loosing so many close family members, and especially her daughter, in such a short time...It's so sweet of you to visit her and to try and help her.

If you go to the top of one of my posts, you'll see an envelope with a stamp on it. All you have to do is click on the envelope
and my email address will come up and you can then email me.

I hope to hear from you soon!

LOve*Light,


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Lily~
 
It's so funny about the Grandpa visitation thing. Because teh funniest thing is that I always had the biggest respect for my Grandpa, and if anyone ever said that I was like my Grandpa (which they didn't, he!) I would be so flattered. But he was an extremely busy, and not really cold, but didn't express his feelings, at all. So when he died, I actually wasn't upset because I had had my usual 3 week warning (I usually know 3 weeks in advance for some silly reason) and I still felt him with us. Which was really helpful in trying to help others with their grief.

But what did upset me was the fact that once he had gone all these people, even ones I didn't know, started approaching me telling me how proud my Grandpa was of me, and telling me that all he ever talked about was me and my sisters. So that did make me cry, in the sense that I never knew that while he was alive, and so was never able to get close to him.

But then he started visiting me in my dreams, and we truly started talking with each other. And in the final dream I gave him the hug goodbye, and just felt so absolutely wonderful. Because I know that he is watching over my Grandma most of the time, but often comes and watches me. (You know how you just know) Even though he doesn't appear in my dreams anymore, I'm fine with that because I know he's there.

But this truly is a test for your cousin Marita. A very painful one, and I'm just sorry that your cousin has to go through it so suddenly and in such force. But it truly is a test of perserverance, love, and most importantly faith. Once she gets through all of that she will definitely be reunited with her loved ones. And they are with her now, but I do know, the process of adjusting to the separation of planes is completely harrowing. Just give her your love and be there for her, and especially take care of yourself so you can be there for her. Kuka.
 
My Past Life Memories of The 1930s NY Part 4

Close to the time I had the AD flashbacks,I had some vivd memories come to me of my earlier childhood in this same past life.
Before relating these memories, I should memtion that I had, had a number of very vivid flashbacks of riding on trains for years.--Long before my memory breakthrough, (before I realized that my "extra" memories were memories from my prior life.)--For example,I had asked once my father (in my present life)if he remembered the time we were traveling by train and I choked on a prune seed. My father looked puzzled and told me that I had never been on a train and that I must have been remembering riding on the streetcar...I told my father that I distinctly remembered being with him on a train when I was quite young (around 4 yrs. old) and that I was choking on a prune seed, and that he had to stick his fingers down my throat and grab the prune seed so I could breathe--This was a very traumatic experience for me, and I found it strange that my father had no memory of this incident. Also I was sure that my memory was of riding on a train, and not the streetcar. (This was only one of many puzzling memories I had of riding on trains when I was young.)

When my early childhood PL memories began to surface in more detail and really connect, the memories about trains finally made sense.--My earliest PL memories were of riding on trains I realized. I had the impression that I took train trips often with an aunt or a grandmother. I have *vivid* memories of becoming very frightened whenever the train would go through long tunnels, because everything would become pitch black for a long time and I would feel claustrophobic. My aunt? would have to hold my hand and try and calm me down by telling me that we would be coming out of the tunnel soon. I also remember being afraid when we went up into the mountains, because the train would go very fast and I was afraid it would go off the tracks...I also had a flashback of riding on the train all by myself for the first, I believe I was going to visit my grandmother. I had a vivid flashback of my mother putting me on the train with a note and giving me a lot of instructions. Then she handed me a nickle and told me to hold on to it. She said if I forgot where I lived to look at the Buffalo on the nickle and it would help me to remember, "Buffalo." (Because of this vivid flashback, I believe it's very possible that I spent my early childhood in Buffalo, NY, and I may have even been born there.

I remember that when I was about 5 years old my life changed very suddenly. I seem to remember that my father was killed in some kind of accident while he was away from home. I had the impression that my father was away from home often because of his job. I connect my father to trains and the railroad for some reason and I believe his job may have been working on trains.-- (If this is true, then it would explain why I have so memories of riding on trains when I was young)...I have flashbacks of seeing my mother cry and not quite understnding why. Soon after this my mother, my brother Johnny and I had to move far away to a large city where the busy atmosphere and the people seemed strange to me. By this time I believe I knew that my father had died and that I would never see him again.

I have vivid memories of moving into a large red-brick tenement building where we had to share a small apartmemnt with a woman we had just met. My mother had to go to work right away I remember, and she had to work long hours. My brother and I were left with the woman we shared the apartment with... It was very difficult for me to adjust to both the sudden move, and having my mother go to work and leave me with an unfamiliar woman and I remember it left me feeling frightened and insecure.

I have some very distinct memories of the apartment building (tenements) where we lived...There were many sets of steel stairs (outdoors) that led up to each of the apartments, and they zigzagged back and forth. There was a tiny steel porch in front of each apartment, and there was a white twist-type mop and bucket on each of the porches. I believe we lived on the 3rd floor and I have a flashback of my mother hanging the laundry on a clothesline just outside the window. I remember looking out the window and seeing clotheslines everywhere with peoples laundry hanging on them... I have a flashback of going up on top of a black, tarred rooftop to play with other children who lived in the apartments...(Later while researching my PL memories at the library, I found that the old red-brick tenements in Brooklyn looked very much like the apartments I remember, from my vivid flashbacks.)

From several flashbacks I had to piece together, I believe that during the time we lived in the tenements, my mother became friends with an older widowed woman who lived in the apartment next to ours. I believe this neighbor friend of my mother's introduced my mother to her son, and this is how my mother met my stepfather...I seem to remember that after my mother married my stepfather, we moved away from the tenements.

I'll continue posting a little more of my story on this same thread soon. The last part of my story will be mainly about my attempts through the years to research my memories, and what I've been able to find out that could help to validate my memories.

LOve*Light,



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Lily~
 
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