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Meeting an old friend again?

B

Black Horse

Member
Hello everyone. I must start by saying that this is the first time that I've had the nerve to come forward and start questioning things that I've been taught not to as a child of Roman Catholic parents. I have an overwhelming need to know and I'm hoping you all can help. I have a friend who I went to high school with 16 years ago. Unfortunately, he was killed in the line of duty as a police officer about 6.5 years ago. I was pregnant with my first son at the time and completely devastated by his death.

He was killed Sept. 29, 1998. My son was born on Jan. 11, 1999. I named my son after my friend, with my husband's consent out of respect and admiration. The loss of my friend is still very fresh for me but, something has happened with my oldest son that has me asking some questions. I viewed the video tapes from the trial of my friend's killer who described the scene of his death in great detail to detectives. My son was not home at the time. He was over 42 miles away from me.

Only my husband and I knew what my friend's murder had to say about what happened that night. About a month later, I was tucking my boys into bed for the night and my oldest one asked if he could talk to me for a minute. I sat down and he began to tell me that he wanted to be a police officer when he grew up because the "bad guy killed him." I asked him what he meant by this. He said that he got out of his car and he got the bad guy out too. The bad guy ran away and he chased him.

He went on to describe everything that I heard the murderer describe to the detectives at the trial verbatum! I began to cry and my husband just stood there with a blank look on his face. See, this was his best friend that had been killed. My son went on to say that he "didn't know he had a gun and he just shot me in the head." My son did not seem the slightest upset about all of this while telling it. I learned a little later on that my son and my friend share the same birthday. Am I completely losing my mind in my 6.5 yrs. of grief?? :confused:

Was this just a visit from my friend or is this my friend? My son has claimed to see my grandfather in the past and became quite upset with me when I told him that I didn't see what he saw. He has also done the same thing to my mother who keeps him from time to time. :confused:
 
Welcome to the forum Black Horse,

I have sent you a private message - and e-mail - before reading your post here.

Thank you so much for posting what your son shared with you and your feelings about it. Your sons experience, and others like him are why we are here. Please know you are not alone - there are others whose children remember and quite clearly and many parents who are caught between their faith and their experience.

I would highly recommend that you read Carol Bowman's books. You might like the one about same Family reincarnation which is what Return From Heaven is all about. The foundation and all the basics can be found in her first book Children's Past Lives. Have you seen the thread with the first chapter posted in this section?

Write down what he said - keep a journal and make notes. It may prove to be invaluable later on. It is going to be important - based on your post - that you educate yourself about spirituality and how to help children that are tuned in. Keep to the books written by Ph.D's -M.D's and valid researchers. I do not recommend books by psychic's.

Feel free to ask questions and for references. That is what we are here for.
 
Welcome to the forum Black Horse. :) I'm glad you were able to come to us and tell us your story. :)

Be assured that you aren't losing your mind. It sounds to me like your friend may have come back to you. What a blessing that is. :) Many people have had similar experiences, as you'll notice as you read through posts in this section, so you are in good company. :)

It sounds like your son is a pretty confident child with parents who listen. He's a lucky child. :)

Chelle
 
Black Horse,
Thank you for visiting the Forum and sharing your story.

I also encourage you to get a copy of RETURN FROM HEAVEN as soon as you can and read it. I think that after reading it you will feel a bit saner with what you are seeing with your son.

It is totally possible that your son is your friend reincarnated. Don't let the fact that he reincarnated in less than nine months throw you. I have actually seen a case of a grandmother dying, and returning the SAME DAY to her granddaughter who went into labor, not knowing that her grandmother was dying. So the interval between lives can be less than nine months.

From a reincarnation perspective, it is also possible that your friend, who died traumatically, might want to come back quickly--especially to two people he was so close to. I don't think that the name you chose or the coincidence of dates is random.

I have a question: does your son have any birthmarks on his head or does he suffer from headaches? Sometimes the physical impressions from a fatal wound carry forward into the next life either as birthmarks, or as physical symptoms or weaknesses in the same area of the body. (I talk about this in my book.)

If you would like to contact me by email, please feel free to do so at carol@carolbowman.com

I think your story will capture the attention of many of the members of the Forum, so they will probably want to be up-dated on any new information about your son.

Thanks for writing. Please feel free to share anything else. Hopefully, we can provide confirmation that what you are experiencing is not uncommon.

Carol
 
Hi Carol. Yes... my son does indeed have a birthmark that I would call somewhat strange. I never really understood until I read some of the other posts here on your site. My son has very, very dark brown hair to the point that it is almost black. No matter how short I cut it for summer etc., he has a blonde "patch" of hair on the back of his head.

I guess my question would be, why me? When my friend was killed, it had been several years since I had seen him personally.
 
Welcome Black Horse!!!!!

I wanted to say something.........when you asked about WHY you, I read over what information you have gave us, and you said you were pregnant and devastated about his death, which causes me to think that you possibly drew attention to his soul/energy.........and wanted to be somewhere 'safe'.

What kind of friendship was it with your friend? Was it just an acquaintance or was it a really close friend? Even if you dont' see someone that you are close to, for a while, there's still a connection to that person.

So is the blonde patch in the same spot in relation to the wound on your friend?
 
Black Horse,
It's difficult to say why your friend would come back to you--except that there must have been some connection that drew him back, either your friendship in this current life, or a relationship in a previous life. Or, he might have wanted to return quickly because of the circumstances of his death, and you provided that vehicle since you were already pregnant.

Did your friend leave a family behind?

Do you know exactly how your friend was killed, exactly where the bullet hit him? I'm guessing that the pigmentation corresponds to an entry or exit point of the bullet. It would be interesting to find out if there is a direct correspondence between the birthmark and the fatal wound.

Have you and your husband noticed any obvious personality traits in your son that are similar to your friend's? Interests, behaviors, expressions? Anything quirky that matches? There are usually similarities in personality between the two lives. Just checking to see if you noticed any.

Carol
 
We were close friends in school. I will have to ask my husband as to the actual wound on our friend in relation to my son's birthmark. I will certainly advise you. I never knew a birthmark could have such significance.

I want to thank you all for your help. This is just the beginning for my son and our family. I can honestly say that nothing like this has ever happened or I've never had awareness of it. You all have provided comfort to me today that I've not known since Mike's death. To think that this could be him in effort to bring me comfort would absolutely be just like him. He was kind and gentle and never knew a stranger. Would have given the shirt right off his back. That's why he made a good police officer.

I will continue to post new things as they reveal themselves to us about my son.

The personality trait(s) that you ask about... My husband mentioned to me the other day that my son's frustration/ anger reminds him of our friend when we were younger. My son is only 6. When my friend died, he had since "outgrown" those particular traits. Needless to say I have lots of questions to ask and should have some other answers for you all tomorrow.
 
Wow!

Black Horse, this is a case that should make a believer of anyone of the reality of reincarnation. There is a large amount of data on the relevance of birthmarks in research by Prof. Stevenson. The time between your friend's death and your son's birth is not significant when one considers the mechanism of reincarnation. But those are details that need not concern you at this point.
 
More info...

Good morning everyone... After some questions to be sure I was correct, I have learned that the blonde patch of hair on the back of my son's head is in the same spot that my friend was shot. I tried to talk to my son about his memories, but he didn't seem to recall anything this time. Could this have been just a fluke thing? :confused:

Carol: Yes, my friend left family behind. His family life was somewhat of a difficulty though. His biological mother dropped him off at his math teacher's house when he was 12 years old for some tutoring. She never returned to pick him up after his session. So, his then teacher and her husband, took the necessary steps to raise him as their own with their other 2 children from then on. This family grieves for him everyday. I want to take my son to them and let them see but am afraid that they might think I'm nuts especially since the only memory I've gotten from him is about the night of his death and my son doesn't seem to recall anything now.
 
Black Horse,
I wouldn't say that your son's recollections were a fluke. It's more a matter of these memories coming up spontaneously, perhaps triggered by something internal or external.

If you read CHILDREN'S PAST LIVES, you will see that I wrote about a type of telepathy that happens between a parent and child: a mother learns that past life memories in children are possible, and almost immediately the child is forthcoming with a memory. It's as if the unconscious of the child is triggered by the conscious awareness of the adult, and the child feels it's "safe" to talk about the memory. It's happened so often that I think there's something to it. That could explain why your son began talking about his past life death after you learned the details of your friend's traumatic death. There is definitely something mysterious about the way that the timing is connected to your awareness of the event.

Usually, when you ask a child directly about a past life memory, they're unlikely to respond. They act as if they don't know what you're talking about. If you wait until they're relaxed--in the car, before bed, or in the bath, you might have a better chance of getting more information, or making contact with their memory. (I talk about this at length in my book.)

So please don't write this off as a fluke. I strongly encourage you to read the book and then see if you can talk to your son about it.

Or, it may be that all he needed to do was talk about his former death, that he's okay with it. Maybe the communication was more for you than for him. It's difficult to say. But even with traumatic memories, a child just might need to get it off his chest in one outpouring, and that's it.

If you notice any unusual behaviors that might relate to his being murdered, please let us know.

How did you find out about the entry point of the bullet in your friend's death?

Carol
 
My husband told me of the details from the autopsy report on my friend. My husband and my friend were not related in this life but my friend always referred to him as his "brother."
 
Black Horse,
Because of the close relationship your husband had to your friend, it is not surprising, then, that he would be reborn to you.
Carol
 
Thank You for the update Black Horse. :thumbsup:

If there is anything we can do for you - please do not hesitate to ask.
 
HI Black Horse,

Have you had a chance to read Carol's books yet? Excerpts from chapters of her first book is here on the forum if you would like a preview. ;)

Chapter one in full is also available.

I have a suggestion that might be helpful for you and your son. Does he like to draw? If so, next time give him some crayons or a pencil and have him draw about it - make pictures of what he is remembering. In the link above - you will see Carol's son Chase's drawing of his memories of the Civil War. Just a thought. ;)
 
Hello again. Sorry, I've been away... No I have not had a chance to read Carol's books, but I'm planning on obtaining a copy of Children's Past Lives this weekend. There has been another incident with my son and I feel that I now owe it to him, myself and the rest of my family to give "grounded" information about this subject. First, let me start by saying that I finally confided in my mother about what my son has been saying to us about his memories. I got her attention and she is very interested to learn more. I explained to her about the blonde patch of hair on my son's head. I also spoke once again to my husband about the gun wound that resulted in our friends death. He smiled at me when I told him about the significance of birthmarks and his eyes filled with tears. He asked me how this could be?? I told him that I didn't know but that who really does. The church absolutely doesn't know. We really don't know until these things occur to show us the way.

I believe that my son had another memory yesterday while at my mother's house. My mom was watching my son and his little brother playing in the swimming pool. My oldest son got out of the pool and began looking at the ground in a strange way and telling my mom that this "red stuff" was everywhere. My mom said that she couldn't see what he was seeing and he became very frustrated with her and told her never mind that it was just a dream. She said that the only thing on the ground was clear water puddled over her concrete patio. When my dad got home, he told my dad the story about the "red stuff" earlier that day. My dad asked him what he thought it was. My son told him that it was "Mike's blood" and that Matt couldn't get there in time. Matt was mentioned to me the very first time my son began to recall my friend's death scene. I did not know who Matt was, so I asked my husband. My husband stated that Matt was another deputy on duty that night with my friend and that moments earlier, my friend and this Matt guy were sitting on the side of the road in their patrol cars talking when a car went flying by. At that point, my friend decided to pursue the car that ultimately resulted in his death. I feel very comforted that my son is revealing information to others in my family. My mom was in tears yesterday after my dad came inside to tell her what the "red stuff" was. My husband has taken comfort that his brother-like best friend has somehow found his way back. My son and husband have been inseparable from the beginning. You must understand that my husband is his step-father not is biological father. :o

I promised to share all of the new things that happen along our journey with my son and my lost friend. I can't thank you all enough for giving a forum like this to discuss these things without judgement or ridicule. I would also like to express my gratitude for the knowledge that you all have shared. It's been extremely helpful in explaining these things.

Tammy
 
Tammy,

I'm just speechless. This story is so touching - and convincing too.

I have to say that the Universe is so great - to arrange a reunion for your husband and his best friend/your son even without biological ties. For me that's just amazing.

I wish all the best for you and your family!

Karoliina
 
Black Horse,
You have provided a very interesting story. I think that whenever a child remembers verifiable names from a past life that one has to start taking the account seriously. If your son actually came up with Matt's name without having overheard it from your husband and Matt was the name of the police officer who was with Mike at the time he was shot, then I think that you have some facts that make you son's story worth investigating; especially when your son said that "Matt couldn't get there in time." The lighter hair patch adds credibility to the story too. It seems to me that as a spirit leaves a body immediately after a tragic gun-shot death, that images of pools of blood would be a memory that would remain to be recalled as a past life memory in a subsequent life. All in all I think that your son's story is one of the better ones that I have seen lately.

From what I have read, past life memories usually start to fade as the child gets to be older and since your son is 6, probably less and less information will be available from him. - Your friend, Wicker
 
Tammy,
I've been keeping up with your amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us as it unfolds.

There are many interesting aspects of your son's story. I just wanted to comment on a couple now, even though others have commented on them.

It would be interesting to take your son to visit Mike's adoptive parents and see if there is any recognition of them or their house, if they still live in the same house where Mike was raised after his mother left him. (What a traumatic thing!) That also makes me wonder if your son has had separation anxiety, or feels that he needs to be with you and/or your husband constantly. That would follow if Mike had been abandoned by his mother; such a trauma in his previous life might carry over into the present.

If you do take your son to Mike's former house, I wouldn't say anything to give him any cues. You might just say that you are visiting a friend. But I would watch him for facial expressions, and the more obvious remarks he may or may not make. Since your son's memory is current, it may be that he'll recognize something, or something will be triggered. But it's possible that nothing will happen. It's impossible to predict.

I would also pay attention to your son's remarks and behaviors now to see if he seems troubled at all by Mike's death. Since he saw images of blood so recently, I suspect that the death scene is still very present with him. If he seems troubled now, you may want to gently intervene. By intervening, I mean to acknowledge what happened in the past and assure your son that he is now back with you and you love him very much and will protect him. Sometimes when kids are in the process of remembering a traumatic death, which they never really "processed" at the time because it was sudden and shocking, they need to know that they moved through the death and are now back in a new body. (I explain this in more detail in my first book.)

I am also struck by the interesting twist that your husband is not your son's biological father. How amazing! It makes me wonder if Mike foresaw the possibility that you would marry his friend, who would become his father, and that was his intention! It sounds unbelievable, but we understand so little about the "grand design" and how this all works. I believe that a soul knows some details of its life plan before it incarnates, and that this was all known to Mike/your son. This is nothing that can be proven, unless your son says something specific to that effect.

Please let us know how this develops. If you need some coaching, please email me and I would be glad to walk you through this, if it gets more emotional for your son and you aren't sure what to do or say.

As Deborah said, PLEASE write all this down in chronological order. There are so many intriguing details in how this is unfolding.

Another question: Does your husband know Matt? Has your son ever met him? That would be another interesting encounter to watch, to see if there is recognition.

As a researcher, it sure would be interesting to videotape any encounter between your son and Mike's adoptive family and Matt, in case there is recognition. That's a bit intrusive, but it would be phenomenal (and rare) to document.

Thanks so much for sharing.

Carol
 
Hi Black Horse,
What a fascinating story! It broght tears to my eyes...
I believe we are all very interested in knowing about your son now... How is he doing? Have you taken him to meet Mike's adoptive parents yet? Any new memory?
I started reading CHILDREN'S PAST LIVES and i am loving it!!! Have you got a copy yet? It will help you understand what is going on with your son and how to deal with it.

I would love to hear from you! :)
Please keep in touch.
 
Hello...

Hi everybody. Sorry I've been away for a while. So many things going on. My son is doing very well. Today is the 7 year anniversary of my friend's passing. My son hasn't said anything further since "seeing" the "blood" on my mom's patio. I haven't taken my son to see Mike's parents yet. I watch my son sometimes and think about how lucky I am to have him /my friend back. He said something so simple yesterday that I know it was Mike talking to me. When I got home from work and asked my son if he was busy, he said "no, just trying to get these limbs picked up." There was just something about the way he said it. Anyway, I must say that he has me convinced that those we love, have a way of finding their way back to us some how. My husband and my son are inseparable. It's incredible. I still cry sometimes when I think about my friend, but then I remember that I have him right there. My son catches me with tears sometimes and all he does is hug me and tells me it's alright. He doesn't even ask me why I'm crying.

To all of you...... THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! I can not express to you what this site has meant /done for me and my family. As I've said in the past this has truly been an incredible experience for me as well as my family. It's the only time that I've had something like this happen to me. All of the conversations, physical symptoms and descriptions from my son could have only come from my friend. What a bond! There will never be another like him to me and I believe he knows that now. For that, I have some peace in my heart knowing that he's still with me.

Much love,
Tammy
aka Black Horse
 
Hi Tammy,

Thank you so much for the update. I am touched by your sincerity and perseverance to research the possibilities. Your family is blessed in so many ways. I want to thank you again for being willing to post about your experience in the first place. It allows for others to see they are not alone. I must say that yours is an incredible story, filled with love and matters of the heart.

I wish you and your family, peace, hope and JOY in your future.
 
This is an absolutely lovely storey. Reminds me of one of my friends too, in a way.


My cousin Trevor married a Tammy. It's nice to hear your story. Please tell us more if you can.


-Fern
 
My Grandson has come back


To Tammy, I just loved your story, it reminded me of what happened to our family. My two grandsons were killed in a terrible car accident in 1996. About two years later, my daughter had a little boy. By the time he started to talk about two years old. He started to tell us about when he was big he had done all these things. He had all of my grandson Tommy's memories. He also remembered his brother Rocky, who died with him. He would just keep saying "Don't you remember Gramdma, I did this when I was big. He kept looking for his Red car, he said it was parked in the back yard. Tommy couldn't get his licience till he was 16, but he could drive on our land in the back. Tommy died at age 15, now Jesse my new grandson who is now 8yr's old can't wait to get his licence. Grandma Lorie: angel
 
Thanks for sharing, Lorie! :)


I'm sorry to hear about the accident, but it must be a relief to all of you to have one of the boys back in the family.


Wishing you all the best,


Karoliina


PS. If you haven't already read Carol Bowman's Return From Heaven (about reincarnating into the same family), I strongly recommend it! :thumbsup:
 
This is so beautiful and inspiring, I am at a loss for words..


The Universe always finds a way of setting things straight I guess - she :D conspires to bring us together with souls we belong with. In Tammy's amazing story, it happened more than once: however sad and shocking, it can only be for the best when a child of twelve is left at such a safe harbour as this boy was. All is well when ends well :)


Thanks for warming my heart!


Love and light


Welsh at Heart
 
WA Heart, thank you so much for bumping this! I have never seen it before and it is a fully inspiring story! I am so touched by this, it just seems to illustrate the cyclical and spiritual side of nature!
 
Interesting and beautiful story


As I thought your story so interesting and a little bit similar to mine;I decided to comment something about it.


I believe that maybe this baby may be your friend ,why not ? If you both liked each other .He may return to stay beside you again. In my case the story is little different because my friend in this life was my son in my last past life. Our love is so strong that many people think strange. For you dear I just want to say; congratulations.


light
 
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