Life in Ancient Japan?

[sunflower]

I'm just going to lay it on you all... I think that I was a gay samurai in ancient Japan who was executed for either being gay or treason. There you go.

I'm a writer and sometimes it's difficult to discern between past lives and story ideas as both come to me in a rush and without much detail. I also read a lot and sometimes I wonder if the ideas just come from books that I've read. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't yet have much confidence in my ability to accurately remember past lives and would just like some validation.

A few months ago, I read a book that was set in Feudal Japan. I've been interested in Asian culture for a while (specifically Korea) but I never really knew much about Japanese culture. However, after reading that book, it was as if something clicked. I was immediately obsessed with learning about the culture and some Japanese words used in the story felt familiar to me. I was inspired to start writing a short story that was also set in that time period which is were the story really starts.

Now I know that this sounds absolutely insane and, trust me, I have questioned my sanity after this one but... while doing research I heard a female voice speaking what I'm fairly certain was Japanese. It wasn't out loud or in the room but rather in my head. I had an idea of what this woman looked like but didn't know anything beyond that.

I kind of forgot about it as life got in the way and such, but me and my friends recently did a session with my pendulum and I asked whether the lady was protecting me to which it said yes. I also asked if
I was Japanese in a past life to which it also said yes. Lastly, I asked if she would show/tell me her name and, again, it said yes.

The next night, the name Ayuki came to me. Now, I don't speak Japanese nor do I know any Japanese names. I checked the book that I read for that name just in case that's where I got it from but didn't find it. I Googled it and besides confirming that it was a Japanese name, I couldn't find out anything else.

I know this is really long already but a few mornings ago I woke up to a sharp pain in my abdomen that wouldn't stop. I thought: "Ok, that's enough of that." and it stopped. Weird, but I'm a young adult and sleep is very important to me so I started to go back to bed. Then, with my eyes half-closed, I thought I saw someone cross my vision. I got the impression that they were a male and wearing a black kimono(?). I opened my eyes, no one was there, and I got up because I was pretty freaked out. Now, the strange part is that I heard the floor creak when they passed which my floor doesn't do. This makes me question whether I was dreaming or not.

I don't know if all these experiences and thoughts are a product of my reading that book (which heavily involved samurais) and my overactive imagination or if it was a legitimate past life recall. What do you guys think?

 

[Sheeply]

Hello, Japanese student here,

Personally I think that since you read a book on feudal japan it might have caused you to have these sort of memories.

But I’ve learnt that a lot of strange stuff can happen as well .

Firstly, Gay samurai: I doubt someone would have had to commit Seppuku for it. In japan it wasn’t deemed as a sin against god sort of thing like we did in Europe. In the Meiji period Japan started to turn against the idea (so like... 1868) which was after the samurai system was abolished.
Further to my point, there’s actually Quite a few writings from Japan before this point talking of homosexual acts and relationships of Monks, Samurais, etc etc. There’s actually a lot of writing on sex and romance in Japan haha x3 unfortunately I’m not sure about Lesbian relationships. See male officials (and probably men of any caste tbh) could have as many extra marital affairs as they wanted. The Emperor even had live in concubines as well as a wife! (But only the wife’s children would continue the line) But if a woman were to do the same thing, for example, her samurai husband could kill her on the spot. (Sorry for going off topic, I like history!) This is only for samurai and Officials though. I think a few woman had affairs and got away with it as well, though. (I’ll have a look for what I can find later because that sounds interesting)

Secondly seppuku was not just restricted to Samurai, although it was originally. People would eventually come to do it to restore honour to their families. I’m pretty sure a 1900s author even did it but I can’t remember.
It was also a form of capital punishment, usually a samurai (or other) would volunteer to end his own life this way but sometimes when they refused they’d be forced to do it. Owch right?

At the end of the day, you’re going to need more than a first name to find out who you were, which is probably gunna be quite hard. Also the same name can have quite a few different Kanji orientations so it’ll be hard tracking someone down unless you have more info.
Perhaps you could try and remember what you saw, if anything. Maybe if this Ayuki woman is really a guide or something you could ask for her last name or try to visualise her. Then you could have stuff to go off of...
Unfortunately if she was a peasant of low rank she probably wouldn’t have had a surname, which would complicate things. But you can try at least!

All I can say is don’t feel like you’re alone but also don’t just to conclusions. Maybe more will come to you? But also be aware that since you’ve read a bit now it might just be forgotten information being regurgitated from your brain. (Brains are annoying) I hope the stomach pain thing doesn’t come back to you, I remember someone else on here talking about how they had that. Maybe if it doesn’t go away see a doctor just to make sure. I have IBS so I put up with stomach crap all the time. But if it was a one off maybe it was your soul remembering? I don’t know.

Sorry I can’t help more, but if you want more history facts on China or Japan I can help or recommend books! Also I think my first or second ever post was about my weird “past life” dream in Japan. I don’t know for sure if it was real or not but you could read it if you’d like.
I think Totoro and Spirit Sword have both had Japanese experiences too so you could look for their posts.


P.S: did you just feel the stomach cut. You could you could have died via murder, in battle, or some other means if you didn’t actually see a Seppuku scene. Peasants weren’t allowed to have weapons but I assume they had farm tools they could hurt someone with if it came to it.

Have a good day!

 

[KenJ]

...it's difficult to discern between past lives and story ideas...

I certainly agree with you about that; I recently posted a thread or two that were definitely showing my inability to distinguish between similar confusions.

 

[Tinkerman]

An interesting thread. I've been drawn to this culture for many years. I have no memories, only deep respect, and an affinity for the people and culture. Sunflower, it looks like you have some fodder for your story, and Sheeply might be a good resource for you. I've watched many documentaries on the culture, and every one of them intrigues me. Perhaps some more reading and research in films will help. But in the end, it could be all you have. I would suggest a daily free-write on the topic. Pick a related prompt and let your mind fly without any parameters; sometimes, for us writers, things will surface from the deep well of creativity that are rooted in past lives. We may not understand it all, but acceptance in the mystery has always been a mantra of mine! Good luck. I hope to read more of your journey. ~Tman