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Karma - When to Stop

J

Julie J

New Member
I'll be honest. I haven't done a whole lot of research, all of my theories are based on personal feelings. You know, what feels true. So bear with me, please.
Over the years I've become very aware of karmic backlash and because I'm depressed and pessimistic, I only ever see the bad parts, making me feel like I'm designed to recognize punishment. Good things rarely happen, and if they do life always comes back to kick me in the teeth, to cast shade over the happy time and make it...less. Thus serving as a reminder that I'm just not allowed a normal, happy life.

So here's the question: If you recognize that you are paying for past actions, that there's a fun karmic echo ******* you over...how long do you let it go on for, if you have the ability to stop it? Is stopping it cheating somehow? I feel like I deserve it, no matter how much it hurts. And I don't feel I should be allowed to take the easy way out.

And while this is clear punishment for me, I also think I am someone else's lesson and that it's not time for me to end it. Not yet.

I know this is weird and I haven't told you what exactly I'm paying for, but I didn't want the post to be too long. If you need details just let me know.
 
I don't believe we come here just to be punished. I actually believe that karma is more about balancing thought forms: we experienced something, and now we experience the other side of the same situation. One such situation is of more significance, and it is our current life's lesson.

The scope for which we incarnate as humans is more important, and it is the same for all humans. It has to do with our souls', as units of consciousness, evolvement and eventual ending of our reincarnation cycling. The scope is the same for all, but we aren't all at the same level of evolvement.

In these matters, to get closer to the truth we can rely neither on others' theories, nor on our feeling, intellect, or even intuition. We have to find a way to access a higher source of knowledge, and to be careful not to distort the message we get with our beliefs, emotions, reasoning. How to do it? Learn to get into altered states of consciousness (self-hypnosis, meditation, lucid dreaming, ...) ask questions, get answers!

The "easy way out" doesn't resolve anything. Accepting suffering neither. Getting answers, and understanding who / what / why we are is the worthy goal, and the path to follow, I believe.
 
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Thank you for your words, @baro-san.
I am always pleased to read them.

It’s not easy to answer after your reply, without repeating the same things. I’ll do my best to give my own words.

@Julie, it doesn’t matter what wrongs you did it the past. Punishment is not a Universal concept. Punishment is equal to stagnation, so in itself it is oposite to lifeforce. Lifeforce is always in action.
On a High Level, spiritually spoken, we all agree more or less with the challenges of our life. I am not a know-it-all. I am slowly gaining these insights piece by piece. You are absolutely free to disagree with me. I am only telling My truth.
For exemple, if your Higher Self is fascinated by the concept of Love, it can sign in for a (long) series of lives concerning this concept. Your ‘lower self’ will experience all kinds of aspects of Love, including absence of it, in multiple lives. Or perhaps your Higher Self is fascinated by Justice or Communication or maybe a mix of several concepts.
It’s not nescessary to do a full range of all concepts, because I truly believe that we are able to exchange information and experiences on a Higher level.
So when you experience a life totally oposite to a former life you might feel drawn to an Earthly way of logic: B is the consequence of A, because our timelines go linear.
But, suppose they are not. Suppose your lives will come in random order.
Or suppose they come with intertwining lines. I think there are no strict laws around reincarnation. Only endless possibilities.
A mature soul has experienced so many aspects and extremes around one or several concepts. From a Higher point of view there is no room for punishment, because from the beginning it was already clear that you would experience the whole range. Even ‘bad’ behaviour, in order to be able to grasp it all at the end.

Yes, sometimes you find yourself under unpleasant circumstances and you have no clue for what reason. My own personal solution came to be: surrender, feel, don’t fight or flight*.
I cannot say if this is the solution for all people. Just feel the experience, how bad it may be. Than you can put this experience in your personal ‘archive’ and it no langer holds power over you. You’ll be free to move on.

It’s not a direct answer to your questions, I know. It’s just I don’t believe in punishment but I do recognize the ugly stages we go through now and than, without being able to give them meaning.
Although, who knows if you will able to do that in hindsight after 40 years from now.


* I am not talking about abuse, ofcourse. You should never accept that towards yourself or another person. In that case make it a 10 minutes realization, like: ok, this is how abuse feels, I got it, and than find or fight your way out of it. (I know, this is not always realistic. I just want to point out that ‘surrender’ doesn’t equal masochism or passivism) Surrender is a realization point or a turning point.
 
Julie J said:
I'll be honest. I haven't done a whole lot of research, all of my theories are based on personal feelings. You know, what feels true. So bear with me, please.
Over the years I've become very aware of karmic backlash and because I'm depressed and pessimistic, I only ever see the bad parts, making me feel like I'm designed to recognize punishment. Good things rarely happen, and if they do life always comes back to kick me in the teeth, to cast shade over the happy time and make it...less. Thus serving as a reminder that I'm just not allowed a normal, happy life.
Click to expand...

How does that attitude (belief) serve you?
 
Hi Julie,

One underlying assumption that you may want to re-examine is the idea of a "normal, happy life". In the history of the world and in most of the world at this moment, I doubt that what you are imaging as a "normal, happy life" existed/exists. I'm not criticizing, as I also had to deal with this idea and still deal with it. Actually, even if you live the privileged life of a citizen in a "first world" country, "normal" is still likely to include, in my experience, more stress, turmoil, grief, misery, etc. than happiness. Of course, happiness can co-exist with these sometimes as well. But the point is that a great deal of "other" stuff is "normal" in life, and perhaps more "normal" than "happiness".

However, I sense that you are talking about a source of unhappiness that you could end, but choose not to because you believe it is somehow something you should have to suffer. Hmmm. I think this way of thinking could lead you to all kind of problems, especially as you cannot know whether that is true or not. A better question is whether this is something that is necessary in love for the benefit/best interest of someone. So, are you actually helping someone (including yourself) by doing this? Likewise, if it is a cause of suffering, why is it necessary that you (in particular) take on this burden? If either of those answers are no . . . .

Cordially,
S&S
 
I think that when you've been through one obstacle after another one can tend to see this as a red thread in your life and that you are just waiting for the next bad thing to happen. My life was like that a numerous of years; and it could be things that perhaps should not touch me as much but because it was done to my loved ones it very much did. Then just when I thought too that my life would not be "normal" or "happy" my life completely changed and for the better. I never thought I was paying for something I had done wrong, and I don't think you should look at it like that either. Sometimes life is just crazy, and other times it is just wonderful - like an ocean really, sometimes stormy, yeah you get the picture. I think we have all probably done terrible things in the past, especially if we have been around for so long and knew so little - of course we've done bad things, but once you've changed there is no need to hold on to that - it's not you anymore and if you faced the same problem today you would have done differently so there is really no use in punishing yourself or feeling like you should be. I hope your life turn around for the better and that you will feel better about yourself as well.
 
I don’t know how or if this relates but I certainly FEEL like I’m paying for something. I had a largely adversarial relationship with my mother for most of my life. Due to ongoing abuse growing up and my mother allowing it and covering it up...our relationship was broken. I didn’t want to be around her and wanted to get as far away from her as possible...which I did. About 6 years ago she (living in another state) had a health crisis that sent her to the hospital and prevented her from living independently. Guess who, out of multiple siblings ends up being her primary caretaker? Me. Mostly because the sibs are selfish and or mentally unstable. I was the one to take off work for months, Find an ALF. Beg her to move to my state. Listen to her tell me she’d kill herself before she did. Arrange to go get her and bring her here when she finally got over her stupidity. Found another ALF here. Made all of her legal and financial arrangements. Rush to her side when she goes to the hospital. Find a Nursing Home when she breaks her hip and can’t come back even with rehab. I’ve listened to her put me down for the majority of my life and try to turn situations around and make me feel guilty. But here I am. She’s 98 next month. Please don’t think that I hate her. I don’t. She’s highly selfish, can be totally irrational and abrasive, but she IS my mother. But honestly sometimes I have to wonder what in the world I did to this woman in a past life, to go through decades of what I have with her in this one.
 
I have some understanding of your position, but not all that you mention. Yes it can be an emotional nightmare, whether or not dementia is involved or not. Your post might receive more helpful responses from Dear Abbey than here in some regards. I personally have a friend who lived much of what you describe, it takes guts to deal with that kind of abuse and still shoulder the burden you inherit, I applaud your (and my friend's) strength. It's certainly easier to deal with that sort of thing if the abuse issues are resolved/mollified before end-of-life care is needed.

There are several ways of addressing this I think. First, is it a "lesson","payback", or "test" do you think? From there you might think of why you contracted to have her in your experience/play and how your two spirits are being benefitted by the parts being played.
 
Personally, it appears you are earning your sainthood. Just remember that this won’t be forever and you will be able to look yourself in the mirror afterwards and know that you did something good, a truly unselfish act. I am sorry you are having to experience this, though. Because I truly understand where you are coming from.
 
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