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Is this my first time?

Thanks for your post, tanguerre. I shall study those links you gave at my leisure. I don't think a visit to Russia would ever be on the cards for me these days, though, for it's a vast country and the present state of my health prevents me from going on long journeys.


Regarding the strange connection with revolutionary Russia, it's definitely some kind of emotional memory that is very near the surface and that can be brought to the surface through the medium of the right images and the right music. The images bring back the trauma and the music brings back the terrible feeling of loss.


Loss of what? I don't know...well, not consciously that is...but there's definitely something there and, even as a five year year old in 1952, I distinctly remember that the feeling of loss I experienced was not associated with anything in my life up to that time, but was to do with something that happened "before." Just what that meant, I don't know.


However, with these "emotional" memories being so near the surface, it could be possible to bring them out in past life regression and discover what all this is about, as they don't seem to be so deeply buried as some past life memories are.
 
I might be a very good thing for you to learn to meditate. It's a very simple process. You can get a book at the book store or simply find a website on the internet that explains it.


There are tons of books and tapes that have been listed and discussed on THIS website. Read some of those postings. (I would pop them up for you....but I don't know how ) You will have to do it yourself.


How about looking for a Meditation group in your area. Look in the paper....ask around. They often meet in Church basements or someone's home. I used to belong to one. I think meditations are more powerful when done in a group...plus people can give you advice


I think your right.....your memories are just below the surface and just waiting to pop up.


I saw myself as a Monk with flames starting to engulf me and I stayed very calm (in meditation)


Your friend may not be right that your going to get terrible upset. Many people here have talked about awful deaths and I don't remember anyone saying they needed treatment or something after they experienced the memory. Don't give yourself another thing to worry about. Cancer Moons can make mountains out of mole hills....


You DO have to do some work retraining your thinking.as Gardyloo suggested. Turn away from negative thoughts, catch yourself, and replace it with a positive one. "No I can't" to "Yes, I will"


It's just habit....and attitude....


It will be exciting to find out what you did or were in a past life I think. Some people find that after finding out what occurred in their past, the problems or fears they have been carrying....just disappear. Wouldn't that be wonderful !!!
 
Hi David,


Welcome and Happy Birthday! I'm April 27th so I can sorta understand you. What I'm getting is that you enjoy all this effort by us to help you so you dig in further to encourage us to try harder! Actually it's YOU who needs to try harder, in all ways.


I'm also feeling like your near drowning was a karmic balance for the person who saved you. That they may have taken your life in another lifetime. It was also a wake up call for you to value your life and to do something with it. If you're 'still alive' that means you aren't done here! It's your job to look at your life and figure out what lesson you still need to learn and then set out to accomplish it. Don't rest on your laurels David!


Life doesn't make it easy.. You have to want something bad enough to go get it, rarely will it come to you. Love is worth EVERYTHING and is the sole reason for living..to learn to love. Each of us must learn to put the self aside and reach out with an open heart. So what if you get hurt! Do it again and again and pretty soon you'll get good at it and love 'unconditionally'. Stop the 'pity party' you are wallowing in and start living again. Plant a garden, hold the door open for the next person, sing, dance and SMILE! Just get out of your rut and begin a new life this year. Every day is a new gift from the Creator so don't waste it. :thumbsup:


~Zengirl
 
Zengirl said:
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I'm also feeling like your near drowning was a karmic balance for the person who saved you. That they may have taken your life in another lifetime. ..
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Thanks for your good wishes, Zengirl. An interesting thought...does that mean I was destined, before I was born, to fall in the river when I was six years old? Kind of a dramatic way to go about things, wasn't it? I certainly don't think that I would have agreed to such a traumatic event if I'd have known about it before I came into this world. Falling down cliffs into rivers and being nearly drowned wasn't ever one of my favourite pastimes.
 
David,


We do agree to 'resolve and balance' a certain amount of karma in each lifetime we enter into. Did I agree to see 3 people drown before I was 7 years old--the last one being my 2 year old sister and I found her? Maybe, or it could've been my father's karma because it was me who told him and he saved each person or could it be both our karma's? At this point it's irrelevant, it's what you DO with your life and you're 62 now! That one event should not have stopped you from living your life. When I was 14, I saw a boy my age that I was speaking to get hit by a car and die right in front of me. My mother and paternal grandmother died 2 months later--one week apart. My childhood effectively ended at 14 and I became an adult. I had to to take care of my sister and father. I do believe that this life and my early hardships were probably MY choice before I was born. If something like this is necessary for me to grow, then it's like me to want to get it over with early in life.


My point is that everyone has hardships in life, some worse than others. They are the stuff of life that forces us to grow and develop. Without hardship, would any of us ever do anything? Would we need to develop empathy, compassion, endurance, resourcefulness, creativity or understanding for your fellow man? Probably not. So David I suggest you view your past from a different perspective than you have been and count your blessings instead! It sounds like you've had a decent life. Give yourself permission to 'let go' of your drowning incident and move on.


~Zengirl
 
I don't think a visit to Russia would ever be on the cards for me these days, though, for it's a vast country and the present state of my health prevents me from going on long journeys.
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I didn't mean literally going to Russia David! Only to cast your 'thoughts' back to that time and place and see what you might find.

...does that mean I was destined, before I was born, to fall in the river when I was six years old? Kind of a dramatic way to go about things, wasn't it? I certainly don't think that I would have agreed to such a traumatic event if I'd have known about it before I came into this world...
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You are taking it all far too simplisticly and way too literally! I suggest again that you read the threads I have suggested for a discussion of the workings (or otherwise) of 'fate' and 'destiny' and 'karma'. They are very good ones and lay out all the ideas and people's thoughts on these topics quite well.


I personally do not believe that every moment of our lives is mapped out in advance. I think 'stuff' just 'happens' sometimes. Others believe in a 'hybrid' where the main things are mapped out, but not all the details....
 
Yes, I see what you mean, now, tanguerra. When I sit quietly and think about "the revolutionary Russia connection" and how upset I was both as a five year old and as a twenty-six year old, I get the distinct impression that I was crying not about me, but about my losing someone I loved very much. So the memories may have had nothing to do with my death, traumatic or otherwise, in a previous life, but with the death of someone who was very dear to me.


Now, although that television play was seen by me an incredible 57 years ago when I was five years old, I can still recall what the scene was on the screen that set me off. It is night time in the play and we are in a room of a house that looks very poor and spartan. There are three people in the room. A man, dressed in an army great coat and cap of the Russian revolutionary period; a young woman and a boy or a man laying in bed who dies while these two are at his bedside. The man stands up, followed by the woman, and draws a curtain across the bed, as if to divide it from the rest of the room and then stands there and begins to sob bitterly, as the women tries to comfort him. As the man begins to sob, so do I and I became terribly, terribly upset. This is all I can remember of it, except that I know I was identifying with this man as though he and I were the same person and I, too, had loved deeply the person who had just died.


In those days, there was no videotaping of programmes, for video tape had yet to be invented. The play would have gone out live and, as telerecording (filming a programme off a television monitor) was in its infancy, it's unlikely to have been telerecorded and simply no longer exists. A trawl through the Radio Times (the BBC television and radio listings magazine of that period) would perhaps yield the name of the play and a sypnosis, but other than that, the play remains just a distant, if vivid, memory.


Now, at that time, 1952, it would be only around six years ago that I was in the world of spirit before being born into this present life and, as time as we know it here doesn't exist in the spirit world, this traumatic event would have seemed to me, as a five year old, to be something that had happened quite recently, within the past few years and that's why I was so terribly upset by its depiction in the play.
 
Now, although that television play was seen by me an incredible 57 years ago when I was five years old, I can still recall what the scene was on the screen that set me off...
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Ah so! Now we are getting somewhere Grasshopper! :)


Yes, this is now memory works. It makes no difference whatsoever to the 'soul' how many Earth years have transpired since you may have laid down a certain memory, whether it was this life or another one. It stays as fresh as paint in your mind if it is important to you. Usually the emotional stuff is the important stuff. Not money. Not 'things'. Not success. Not fame. Not shoes. Only 'love' (or its loss in this case) is of lasting importance to your 'soul'.


It is most unlikely that the events in the play are the exact same events that you recall (although nothing is impossible). It is more likely that the scene (and the era in general combined) reminded you of something you experienced yourself. This is where I would begin my meditation adventure if I were you.


I recommend this thread The Heart Center which has some wonderful tips on how to dive into emotions in order to bring a memory into focus.


Is it time to move from theory to practice? You decide.


Good luck and best wishes to you. :)

Zengirl said:
My point is that everyone has hardships in life, some worse than others. They are the stuff of life that forces us to grow and develop. Without hardship, would any of us ever do anything?
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Well said Zengirl. ;)
 
Hello David.


How are you doing? It's been a week and we haven't heard from you.


Have you contacted any groups or people about meditation? If not, have you asked at that church near by if they have any meetings for meditation.


Maybe they don't but they may know another church that does. You could get a lot of assistance from a group. People are always more than glad to impart a little wisdom.


I was re-reading what you said about the Russian soldier who ws so distressed over the death of a son or father. You said you thought the soldier was yourself. I think your probably right.


Through meditation you could most probably get your answer.


I hope your well and feeling a little more cheerful with spring popping out all over. My daughter called and said she found 83 Morel mushrooms. She called for cooking advice...Morel mushroom....now ou KNOW it's spring... Cheers !!
 
Thanks for your concern, Florence. Yes, I'm still here. I've not gone yet. When I go, I'll be going in a blaze of glory, as Tony Hancock once said. I haven't added any more to what's already been said because I think you've all just about covered everything. I don't know any churches near me that hold meditation sessions, but I shall search around, although I'd feel a bit uncomfortable starting to attend a church at my age. I'm not sure that meditation would work with me and probably regression therapy wouldn't work either. Not everyone can be hypnotised and with me, there'd be the added problem of not being able to trust anyone enough (even a therapist) to relax and go under in their presence.


I think your ideas regarding the origins of my reaction as a five year old to that situation in the television play is quite profound and I know that there's something there. I also know that some people would find what happened to me as a five year old in 1952 impossible to come to terms with. "How could a five year old feel such feelings?", they would ask. Well, a couple of old expressions come to mind in this respect: "Old for his age" and "An old head on young shoulders." It's quite true that, physically speaking, I was only five years old, but my emotions and feelings and personality, the things that made me "me", had been around for a very long time.
 
David.....everyone can meditate...it's a lot like daydreaming. Your not asleep...your just focused.


A sudden noise or anything can pop you right out of it. That's why you do it away from a phone...in a quiet place where your not likely to be disturbed.


Joining a group of people who maybe meditate in a group once a week....is NOT joining the church. If you go to a church dinner...that's not joining the church...Churches often allow groups to use their basement rooms for people with anxiety problems and people with drinking problems. It's been going on for years here in America. I assumed it was the same in England.


If you had a regression you would find that your not completely oblivious to the world. A part of your mind is very awake and listening If you were to go COMPLETELY under and not remember anything afterward...I believe only a small percentage of people do that... Maybe after many sessions a person would go deeper.. It is not necessary to go that far under to remember a past life. Many people here...who are members...remember a lot just by meditation and I'm sure you would too. Your memory is just below the surface.


I don't want to hear any more about your age....


Oh my....your SOO old !! I'm 75 and I'm still going right along. Try a new attitude David...stop using your age as an excuse not to do anthing but sit and wait to die....Are you going to sit and mope for the next 20 years..


I would not be surprised if your Guardian Angel would like to give you a swift kick in your behind.


....giggle....


You might try asking your Guardian Angel to help you to move off dead center....and YES David....you DO have a Guardian Angel !!


If you cannot find a group...try searching the site for information on tapes and CD's to play at home.


If you google the word Meditation...you will get tons of information there as well that you could print out if you wanted to.
 
Yes, Florence, I will give meditation a Google to see what it's all about. I don't know if I have a Guardian Angel...I don't feel there's anyone there...I've always felt completely alone in that respect. I've certainly talked to my Guardian Angel and asked for help and guidance...errr, just in case they're there...but I've never heard them answer me.


One thing I miss about being a little boy. I really believed in things and that fact that I believed in them made them real and true. For instance, I believed in fairies and that they lived in the bushes at the bottom of the garden and I believed in Santa Claus and I believed that there was a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow (I even went looking for it once at the place where the rainbow ended...but I didn't find it) and I believed in Jesus. The huge difference between then and now is that today, I don't believe in anything or anyone. Life has kicked my belief in such things right out of me and that's what's wrong with the world today. People just don't believe in things any more. So if I were to ask my Guardian Angel to do something for me, I think it would be to help me to believe again.
 
Hi Dave,


Oh yes, those cute little fairies. They were not by any chance "The Teeny Weenies" were they? The Teeny Weenies lived in the garden under a rose bush. They used to ride around on the back of a robin. I dearly loved them. I found a place through Google, whee you can still get them...along with the Brownie stories. Maybe one day I'll send away for some...just for fun...


I think I wrote about my Guardian Angel here somewhere. I was going to take a test and got full of anxiety over it all. I asked my Guardian Angel to go with me. I swear....I immediately felt a pressure against my shoulder. Later when waiting in line I again felt that pressure. I took the test, passed at 100% and went home. The pressure was gone. Now you can say that was my imagination


or whatever you want....but I believe it was my Guardian Angel. I never had that experience before or after that one time. I think you get signs all the time but pay them no mind.


What's the matter with those guys in merry old England. I have always loved English humor.


I watched all the re-runs of the comedy "Are you being served?) They were so funny ...wonderful..


I think to ask your Gardian Angel to strengthen your beliefs is a splendid idea....Ask him also to help you to lighten up and laugh. Maybe your lesson in this life is to learn after being abused and knocked down, to get back up again and believe


I'm saying a few more prayers and sending white light. Take care David and keep in touch with all of us. There are quite a few people here who care about you......You don't have to limit your remarks to this one thread. You may add your comments to ANY thread that looks interesting. Maybe you can give some younger person some advice from your own experience. I'm sure it would be appreciated.
 
No, I don't think they were called The Teeny Weenies, just fairies. In fact, I think I may have seen them when I was very young...say three or four years old. But whether I dreamed it or imagined it and the dream eventually turned into a memory of what seemed to be a real event, I don't know. It's a long way back.


I was thinking that it would have been a good thing if in those far off days, when I perhaps may have had some memories of a previous life, I could have been interviewed on camera about it, like Cameron Macaulay. But the equipment wasn't available then. How lucky the kids of today are compared to those of my generation, to have all this modern, portable, picture and sound recording equipment at their disposal.
 
Glad to see you back again DavidW. I was beginning to think I had scared you off! :)


It seems to me that perhaps you are taking a faltering step or two on the way to expanding your vision of what is 'real' and what is not. Keep it up, you never know, your wish for greater understanding may be granted one of these days.


You don't need a film of what occurred when you were a child to make it real. You have your memory. Just trust to that. It's enough. You don't have to prove anything to anyone else (least of all us! :laugh:).


If you want to delve deeper into the memory of Russia and meditation is not your 'thing' you could try writing about it. That often yields good results with people who are very articulate, but not particularly prone to daydreaming. Just find a quiet spot, get out a notebook or a piece of paper (or type it up, whatever works for you) and decide to write a story about it without the intention of ever showing anyone. It's just for you.


Start by remembering the film you saw and how it made you feel and start 'making it up'. Who were those people? What was going on? What happened before that? What might have happened later? You might be surprised what vivid images come to you and it might just start to flow off the pen without any effort on your part. This is often a good way 'in' for people who are very analytical thinkers.


Try thinking of it this way; that experience was very emotional for you at some level at the time. Whether it is a 'past life memory' or not is irrelevant at this point anyway. It had some kind of emotional meaning to you at the time. Why? Doesn't really matter (except to you).


When you have written your piece, you might care to think about it afterwards and relate the emotions of that incident with some similar emotions around some incident from this life and see where that leads you....
 
Hi Dave. I've read through this entire thread and feel I can now comment on your predicament and your thoughts.


As others have said, the distinct impression I get from your posts is that life experiences have made you very jaded and have hardened your heart to even the possibility of love - and that I feel is the problem here.


Yes, life can be tough, but that toughness applies to everyone. There is no such thing as an easy life. I can guarantee you that every single person who has responded to you in this thread has their own issues to deal with in life and their own lessons to learn. What makes the difference is perception and attitude. And no, this does not mean grinning and bearing when it feels like life is kicking you in the teeth, but a positive outlook and the hope, faith and expectation that things can and (most importantly) will get better can make a big difference.


As others have said, people aren't attracted to negativity; and if this is the vibe you give off, then you are creating the ideal circumstances for attracting more of the same. To put it simply, a negative attitude will not attract positive things and no, thinking the worst to try and shield yourself from disappointment is not the answer because on some level, you are still expecting a negative outcome and that is exactly what you'll get.


Also, as pointed out, the reason you're still here is obvious; there is still more for you to learn. And don't worry about the number of your years either. As you embrace the lessons necessary for your soul, it will change your life. Who knows? The next 20 years could be the best of your life. I know a guy in his 60s who is the biggest pary animal I know. He's a very inspirational person because his age has not stopped him from doing ANYTHING he wants (he has two young children for goodness sake). So don't ever think your life is over, because what you think is what you become. As it is, your current attitude is likely to result in a very unhappy and unrewarding afterlife experience with the realisation that you wasted a whole lifetime on negativity. If you take the sage advice given to you by the good people here, that could change tomorrow.


And also, never ever forget that the biggest problem you will ever face in ANY lifetime is yourself.
 
Hi David,


I will read this thread again in closer detail. But so far as I have noticed so far I don't think anyone has mentioned to you the possibility of connecting with pets if you have problems connecting with people.


Through talking by email to one of the mods on here I have recently realized why I have always been involved in pet rescue in this life. In fact the pets themselves involve me, though I work loosely with formal pet rescue organizations at times I do not belong to any officially. I am 48 years old and it has taken me until this week to twig.


I had a life in the Great War which I could recall as a child. Later in life a lot more memories from then got triggered for me. I outlived all my friends in that life, I was in the war from 1914 and was finally killed in 1918.


I got where I would not, or could not, form any attachments to human beings any more. I was more attached in the end to my dog than anyone human. I even had a regression one time when my past life dog turned up, it is about the only nice regression I have ever had, all the rest have been about sorting out some sort of trauma with other people.


I have also had plenty of disappointments in this current life, and been badly let down by people. I expect most of us have been.


I have just found that whatever happens it really helps to deal with animals. They really DO love you, and they really ARE grateful for being helped out, they don't care who you are and they do not judge you, as long as you are kind to them. Though I know the down side of it all is that sometimes they die, and also one has to face episodes/tales of human cruelty or neglect to the pets.


You might not feel drawn to this at all, but I thought I would suggest it for what it is worth.


Best wishes


Max
 
David,


I find your story very interesting. Do you realize how many truly concerned and caring friends you have right here? You have taken a first, probably scary, step in seeking help and advice. You have received some of the best advice you could get from the posts in this thread. I highly recommend you follow the suggestions given as they are all excellent. I don't feel I can add anything to what has already been said but I will tell you a story...


Years ago, when I was working on quite a lot of past life recall, I was in meditation and had received some information about several very difficult past life experiences. I finally got tired of it and said (thought) “Gees, didn’t I EVER have a life when I was happy and well-off?” I was immediately shown a life in renaissance France. I was married to a wealthy man and had three teen aged daughters. The girls and I were in a bedroom and were trying on dresses. These were those elaborate, heavy dresses worn in that time. We were having a ball trying on one and then another. There were mounds of dresses on the bed and piled on the chairs. I sensed we were preparing for a party of some sort.


As I always do, I asked “What did I learn from this life” and the answer was “nothing”. I was a spoiled woman with a doting husband. I had a beautiful home with the finest furnishings and every luxury a woman could want. I spoiled my girls the same way. It was a life wasted in selfishness and self-centeredness, totally devoid of any concern for anyone else.


Since then I have learned, when I am going through a difficult time, to ask in prayer, what it is that I’m supposed to learn from this, or ask for help in understanding what I need to learn. When lessons are learned then we move on to the next step. Leaving ourselves open to the necessity of learning the lessons and accepting them can be hard. If I get an impression that I need to learn more about compassion, for instance, and then I get my hackles up and say “I know enough about compassion! I don’t want to learn this anymore!” then I put the brakes on the learning and the experiences I must go through continue on and on, until I’m ready to accept the lesson.


We all have life's lessons to learn. It's the way of eternal progression. We either humble ourselves, accept the lesson, and try to learn from it, or we can rebel and take many life times to learn it. The choice is ours. We always have free will.


Life is like an onion--one layer at a time, and a lot of tears along the way.
 
Hi Calla Lilly, welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing that experience with us (what a great first post! :thumbsup:)


David hasn't been here for a while unfortunately, but I agree with you, he did get some wonderful advice in some of these posts, I hope that at least some if it was helpful to him.


I hope you will feel comfortable enough here to share some more of your experiences.


Chris :)
 
ChrisR,


Thank you for the welcome.


This does look like a good site. The people seem kind and considerate. Perhaps I will have more to say as time goes on.
 
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