Is this my first time?

[DavidW]

I am 62 years old today and, unlike practically everyone else on this forum, I have never, during those 62 years, had any memories of living another life prior to this one; never had a feeling of Deja Vu when visiting somewhere for the first time; never had any desire to visit any particular country (in fact, I've never been outside England in my life); don't feel that I belong anywhere and, if memories of past lives can be classed as either conscious ones or emotional ones (feelings), well, I've never had any of those, either.

So this begs the question, is this my first life and, if it isn't, why do I have no feelings or memories of a previous one?

Also, if this is one of many lives I have lived and we are supposed to progress with every incarnation, why has this present life been such a negative one? In fact, there really has been no point at all to my being here this time around and, if there are those who say we are all here to learn lessons to help our souls to progress, then how do you account for the following lessons I've learned in this life:

(1): There are no such things as love and friendship, except in books and films.

(2): Take nothing on faith and trust absolutely no one except yourself and learn how to be alone.

(3): It hurts terribly to love and to not be loved in return. It is, in fact, a living death.

Now, as I learned all those lessons many years ago, why am I being left so conspiculously alive? My lessons are long learned. So in theory, I should have passed on to the spirit world a long time ago. In other words, my still being here is pointless. Somebody somewhere has goofed.

 

[Ailish]

Hi David,


Happy Birthday

So this begs the question, is this my first life and, if it isn't, why do I have no feelings or memories of a previous one?

Even though you've never had memories or feelings of other lifetimes, doesn't mean that it's your first time. Imo, we've all been here before. I suggest that you read the link ChrisR gave in his post above, "Why don't we all remember?"

Also, if this is one of many lives I have lived and we are supposed to progress with every incarnation, why has this present life been such a negative one?

I'm a believer in consciousness creating - the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold in our consciousness at the time of our deaths, create future situations. That is also applicable in the way we live our lives in the present moment. This is a great quote from Deborah:

What you are holding in consciousness at the time of your death, you yourself create in the next life. This is not a last minute evaluation but a life time one. Even though we might review our lives after death with a clear picture..I think that when we are again here on earth..matter and the density of our reality affects us. Consciousness creates, but I also think memory 'acts' as a creator.
Let me explain--------


The Tibetan Book of the Dead concerns itself with the possibility of dying consciously. These ancient Buddhist masters observed that there is a heightened intensity of consciousness when a soul moves from life to death and visa versa. By preparing the soul during life, to avoid and or heal negative thoughts, they were able at death, to not be pulled into a repetitive negative life cycle.


The ancients KNEW this. In the seminal text called the Dhammapada, which means ‘The Way of Truth,’ the power of our thoughts is clearly stated:


“All that we are is a result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts.”


India's ancient Buddhist text, the Bhagavad-gita it states :“Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, that state he will attain without fail.”


The Egyptian, the Sumerians, the Chaldeans all KNEW this.


Moving on over to memory...It is interesting to note that Edgar Cayce’s interpretations of karma suggests that karma is not destiny; it is only memory. A memory of consequence. Cayce suggests that we are born with memories, but they are usually unconscious. He felt that they do influence our abilities, our faults and even our relationships with others. It is up to us and our free will, to ‘create’ in our next life what will be positive experiences or a negative experiences. In other words, we need to ‘harness consciousness.’

(1): There are no such things as love and friendship, except in books and films.

Yes, they most definitely exist. Love and friendship go hand in hand. True friendships take time to grow, they must be nourished to flourish. They are selfless and giving, without question or doubt - and unconditional. But they are not perfect. Everyone has falling-outs or disagreements. Sometimes that requires us to be forgiving and understanding, or to learn to meet in the middle. We can find faults with anyone - in any situation. The secret is to love and accept everyone for who they are. To support our friends and loved ones through everything - to make time for them, to be available when we can, and most of all - to love them as they are. Without exception and without expectation.

Now, as I learned all those lessons many years ago, why am I being left so conspiculously alive? My lessons are long learned. So in theory, I should have passed on to the spirit world a long time ago. In other words, my still being here is pointless. Somebody somewhere has goofed.

I don't believe anything about our existence is pointless. Again, it's all about perception. The learning and the growth comes from how we handle situations. How we can take the negatives, turn them into a positive lesson learned - and apply it to our lives now and in the future. Some lessons are harder than others - and there are times that seem extremely difficult. But something good can always be found within those difficult moments if we look hard enough.


We all have the capacity to love, and we all hurt at times. We're only human. One piece of advice I heard a long time ago was "Do for others, what you wish had been done for you." If you feel there is something missing in your life - go out and do something for someone less fortunate. It goes a long way to making you feel better, and in the process, you are helping change someone else's life. How amazing and wonderful is that?


Aili

 

[Florence]

Hello David


Sounds to me like you picked a tough one this time around. It reminds me of my own lesson of learning to be alone and independent.


I had no memories but after I began meditating I started having dreams and became aware of clues I always had but paid no attention to. Later I met two different people that I new right away had been friends in the past.


If you are cynical and have also become hardened to love and friendship the Universe is waiting for you to reach out and realize to be loved ...you have got to be loving. Maybe if you start meditating and if your retired, you can join a group of some kind who help others. You would be surprised at how many really loving people are out there and it just takes one great friendship to make your whole life different.

 

[DavidW]

QUOTE: "I'm a believer in consciousness creating - the thoughts, feelings and emotions we hold in our consciousness at the time of our deaths, create future situations. That is also applicable in the way we live our lives in the present moment."

I don't really understand this. Does it mean I had a very unhappy and tragic or violent death last time around?

 

[DavidW]

QUOTE: "Sounds to me like you picked a tough one this time around."

No, I can't believe that I chose this present life for myself. I know myself very well after all these years and I've always been an "anything for the easiest" type of person.


I think that if we are looking for clues as to what we were or what we were like in a previous life, the best thing to do is to go back to our early childhood memories and impressions, because who we were a few years after we were born into this present life could hold clues to who we were before.


When I was a child, I was an inoffensive little boy who wouldn't harm anyone. When I was bullied, for instance, I just would not fight back, no matter how provoked I was or how much I was hit or punched by other boys. I would just roll up in a ball and take the beating without retaliating. Even as a little boy of five or six, I believed it was wrong to fight and to hit people and hurt them.


One day in 1952, I ran into the house crying to my father that this boy had been hitting me. My father strode out of the house and grabbed the boy and pinned him against him securely by his arms, so that the boy could not move out of my father's very strong grasp. "He can't harm you now", said my father. "Go on, hit him! Hit him as hard as you can and keep hitting him!" Well, I just stood there, looking at this strange scene. But I could not hit the boy, even though he was totally defenceless and, physically speaking, it would have been easy for me to do so. My father just looked at me kind of disgusted and eventually let the boy go, who ran off, laughing. That was what I was like back then. These days, I would have killed the little swine. So my ideas in this respect have changed a great deal since I was little. What drove it out of me? Well, maybe life has dealt me just one blow too many since those days. But, if I did have a previous life, maybe one of the things I brought into this world this time around was that I didn’t want any more to do with fighting and violence. I’d had enough of it. Maybe such things that happen in our early childhood indicate that, although we may carry no conscious memories of a previous life into this one, we carry into this life the emotions we felt in the previous one


Ever since I can remember, from infancy, I have never been able to go to sleep when somebody else is in bed with me. I believed that if I was to fall asleep, they would kill me. Now where did all that come from? Naturally, this has ruled out my ever being married or being in any relationship where I am required to go to sleep when someone is sharing the bed with me.


It's a strange thing to understand, but I have had great difficulty becoming a so called adult. I feel myself to be no older than twelve, even though I am 62. Someone I was talking to who knows a lot about reincarnation tells me that I feel this way because in all my previous lives, I have died as a child no older than 12 years and that this life I am living now is the first life I've had in which I have grown physically to adulthood...that this is something I've been unable to get used to and that it will take quite a few more lifetimes of growing into an adult for me to come to terms with it. Isn't that strange?


There is just one other thing that I should have added that has bugged me all my life. It may be connected with a previous life and it may not...but I have a strong gut feeling that it is.


When I was five years old in 1952, we first had a television set installed in our front room. One summer evening in that year, I remember I was left alone in the room watching a play on the television. I can't remember what the play was called now, but it was set in Russia during the revolution. For some reason while watching this play, I became very, very upset and began sobbing bitterly. My mother came into the room and hugged me and tried to comfort me and asked me what was the matter. But I couldn't tell her why I was so terribly upset.


Twenty-one years later, in 1973 at the age of 26, I went to see the film Nicholas and Alexandra, an epic about the Russian revolution and the murder by the Bolsheviks of the entire Russian royal family, the Romanovs. In the last few minutes of the film, where the murders took place on screen, I became terribly upset in exactly the same way that I had done at the age of five and broke down and sobbed bitterly as the end cast rolled and the haunting ending music by Richard Rodney Bennett played. Even today, whenever I watch that film, I become very upset by the ending and I can hardly bear to watch it. I feel particularly drawn to Alexei, whom for some reason, I feel very deeply for and who was only 13 when he was shot to death by the assassins. What does it all mean? I really wish I knew.


I believe the things I described above are far more emotional memories than conscious ones. You feel them more than you think them. Sometimes, these emotional memories can be from more than one past life and are traumatic baggage we’ve carried forward to this present life in our personality and in our soul. I don’t know why the connection with Russia. I have no interest in the country; I’ve never been there in this life and I have no wish to go there.

 

[Sunniva]

Hello David,


I hope you don't mind that I opened a sparkling new thread for you - I think your questions deserve it


The others have already given you great advice above. Personally I think *all* people have lived before and from what you tell it sounds to me, at least, like you have "traumas" that could relate to a former life.


Why else would you fear being murdered while asleep? Why else were you such a pacifistic child? It is an interesting thought that you never grew older than 12 in former lives - however, it may not necessarily be so.

Now, as I learned all those lessons many years ago, why am I being left so conspiculously alive? My lessons are long learned.

I feel so sorry that you've had such a tough life. However, have you considered that your life lessons are really the opposite from what you listed? Perhaps you're still alive, because you need to learn that:


(1): There are such things as love and friendship.


(2): Take on faith and learn to trust others - and have others trust you.


(3): Unrequited love does hurt terribly, everybody goes through it, there is a lesson to be learnt, I believe, but it isn't that life is a living death. What is so beautiful about human beings is that even the most shattered hearts are able to love again.

Somebody somewhere has goofed

Maybe you are that somebody, making yourself believe that your life is poinless (which no lives are).

 

[ChrisR]

Hi David,


Happy Birthday! It certainly is true that negative breeds more negative, and it can be tough to hear it because deep down, you know that it's true, and you know that you can change it, but doing so requires you to step out of your comfort zone. Yes we can feel very comfortable in our negativity, sometimes it almost feels good to feel sorry for yourself. I can say all of this from personal experience, I was brought up in a dysfunctional family in a very negative environment. I could easily say that I've had nothing but bad luck all of my life, but others have taught me that all it takes is a change in your perception of the world around you to turn your 'luck' around and make it work in your favor, it is a process which can take a long time, but you can do it in small steps, something I've been trying to do myself over the last few years, and already I've made some of the best friends that I've ever had.


Like the others have said before me, there are many good people out there who you can love and trust, and who can love and trust you in return, but how others perceive you is a reflection of how you perceive yourself. If your overall attitude towards life is negative, then others will see you in a negative light, it's up to you to turn that around and make a positive change, then you draw positive towards you .... it does work, but the initial change has to come from within you.... just something to think about.


Chris

 

[Ailish]

I don't really understand this. Does it mean I had a very unhappy and tragic or violent death last time around?

No - it simply means that thoughts, feeling and emotions are powerful creators in any situation. For every action there is a reaction.

 

[DavidW]

Many thanks, Sunniva...nobody's opened a new thread for me before. Your comments give me pause for thought. The why's and wherefore's of reincarnation are a great mystery to me. I don't think anyone knows all the answers.


There are sites on the Internet that are far from the ideal where you put your date of birth in their search engine and they tell you who you were in a previous life. They are pretty stupid really, as in my case, they said (no, don't laugh), I was a shoemaker in the year 1575 in what is now modern Thailand. This means that the same thing applies to everybody in the world who was born on April 26th.


So in 1575, there were millions of shoemakers in what is now Thailand and they all lived in the same little village on the coast. It would be nice if there was a similar website that could really tell you who you were in a previous life. But there's no practical way of doing it.


I understand what you say, Chris (and thanks to you and everyone else for your good wishes on my birthday), but it's something I can't do. I just can't trust anyone. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I don't know how to. Maybe I've been hurt and harmed a little too much, both in this life and in a previous one, for anything to change now. After all, I'm far nearer the end now than the beginning and when my time comes, I am leaving nothing behind. I have put down no roots, never been married, nor brought any children into the world. When I die, I won't be missed by anyone and, whether a person is 12 or 62, they have to be strong to live with a terrible realisation such as that. It's too late for me this time around and I know it. Maybe things will be better next time, if there is a next time. Who knows?

 

[Tinkerman]

David, you have been given some excellent advice and wisdom here. I strongly believe that each one of us is on a solitary journey of the soul. Who and what your life is now is not a cosmic accident. There are many lessons and adventures left for you, judging by what you've written here. I, like Aili, believe that consciousness creates. You choose your path AND have control over that direction. She also gave you one of the most profound human lessons ever:

We all have the capacity to love, and we all hurt at times. We're only human. One piece of advice I heard a long time ago was "Do for others, what you wish had been done for you." If you feel there is something missing in your life - go out and do something for someone less fortunate. It goes a long way to making you feel better, and in the process, you are helping change someone else's life. How amazing and wonderful is that?

If you are seriously interested in your destiny and direction in life I think this is an excellent place to start.
As for "why don't I remember", the threads provided will explain better then I...but I think we are each given the measure of memory that we need to accomplish our journeys. If you took a serious look at how to accomplish this I know you would see immeasurable spiritual progress. Combine all of this into a new mind set and your sadness, despair, and negative out look might just evolve into a life of joy...not just for yourself but all you encounter too.


Peace my friend!


Tinkerman

 

[alaskanlaughter]

Hi David and happy birthday!


I agree with what everyone has said so far. They've written exactly what I wanted to say. I believe very strongly that life is what you make of it - that is the best part of free will - and a big part of making your own life is the attitude and perspectives that you choose to have. Some attitudes and perspectives may be harder to choose, but it's all possible.


I especially agree with the ones who suggested getting out there and doing things for people who are less fortunate. Something about doing that just seems to help the soul, in my opinion.

 

[DavidW]

Thank you, alaskanlaughter and all those who have put forward similar suggestions. In fact, I have helped other people all my life and been more than generous to them, but generally find that I have been taken advantage of and that some people are all take and no give.


On one occasion in 1987, I helped someone by selling an expensive colour television that cost me £400 for £50 to help them buy their car insurance, thus meaning that I had to buy myself another television at a great cost.


On other occasions, I sold parts of my valuable record collection at a loss just to help someone with ready cash, which meant me having to get the records back one by one on eBay at a much greater cost than I originally paid for them...something that has taken me many years to to do. It would be impossible to get them all back, of course, as it would take too long and cost too much money. So I've concentrated on the most important ones and, each time I get one back, after years of absence from my collection, I hold it and say: "You're here to stay this time...I'll never sell you to help anyone ever again."


Yes, I'm not so generous these days and not as daft as I was and not such a soft touch. These days, I will only help people if it costs me nothing or next to nothing financially. There's such a thing as being too **** Christian...it backfires!


But to get back to my original point. I really do think that in a child of up to five or six or seven years of age is the shadow of what kind of person they were in a previous life and what their desires and passions and interests and beliefs were in that previous life. Whether I always previously had died as a child as someone suggested to me, I don't know. But I have what you may call gut feelings about some of this and I think that I have always been male in my previous lives. I just can't imagine my ever being a female and I wouldn't ever want to be one. I think I will always be male and that is something I'm quite comfortable with.


One thing that does intrigue me about my early childhood is my seemingly odd belief that I mustn't fight back when I was bullied, no matter how much I was kicked and punched by others, or how deeply I was provoked. Had I made some sort of promise to someone in the world of spirit before I was born into this life that I would never harm anyone no matter how much they harmed me? Who knows? But such a promise, if it was ever made, went out of the window long ago. I'd definitely give as good as I got these days.

 

[Florence]

David, David, David......what are we going to do with you.


I was a lttle girl but was just like you. I cried all the time, fear, hurt feelings...you name it. My mother said "Florencie, you are too sensitive to live.!!" I was bullied by an 8 year old down the street, when I was 6. "MY" mother said "I cannot fight your battles for you"....That made me cry more....ha ha.... Finally in complete frustration I socked her in the stomach and the bully was no more. I could go down the street and it was great.


I have had a difficult life in many respects but humor has been my saving grace.


Happy Birthday.....your 62 and you just started a new chapter of your life. Get out of that mental rut your in and join the world. THIS TIME do not give anything to anyone if you will later resent it. Giving is giving.....it's not getting back.


So be selective about who you help and if you cannot.....say so. Don't get sucked in just to be liked or allow people to play on your sympathy.


If you sold your TV to help another....you have a big star on your forehead up in Heaven..


Start walking around with a smile on your face....people are attracted to happy people not crabby ones. Everyone is looking for a lift..and a laugh ....Even if you have to fake it at first...


I repeat what I said before....join a group of singles??? Maybe you will meet a friend to have dinner with??? Join a group that does good works ...like driving older citizens to the doctor or delivering meals. It might make you feel good abot yourself.


It's very possible that you may just hang around for another 20 years....how about that!! If I were you...I think I would do a few things so that I WOULD be remembered. Go to a children's hospital and read stories to the little guys. Pretend your a Grampa....


I'm sure that if you think about it there are things to do , places to go and people to help who don't want your material goods....they just need your cheerful company....


AND......if you don't remember any past lives.....so what.....I barely do either. Your living this one now and that's what counts.


Life is like a book....all you have to do is change one chapter..to make the ending come out different


Hugs for your birthday David...

 

[DavidW]

Sorry, Florence, but there are no singles clubs anywhere in this city. Besides, being mentally and emotionally still a child, I can't stand grown ups at the best of times and, because I neither drink (alchohol makes me ill), nor smoke (I never started), nor drive, I generally don't mix or socialise very well...unless it's with someone who is exactly like me. A very tall order indeed.


I won't go into details, but something really terrible happened to me that has left me completely unable to trust anyone or want to mix with people ever again. Consequently, I may well just drift along for the next twenty years until my time comes, but there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. What may be easy as pie for you or other people is beyond my capabilities. It's like telling someone with Aspergers to pull themselves together. They just can't. Not because they're ill, but because they're different.


If I have a choice after I leave this world, I won't be coming back. I've had more than enough of this world and the people in it this time around to ever want another go at it. But if I have no choice (there are some really uncaring bullies in the spirit world whom, I strongly suspect, will force you to reincarnate when you're obviously not ready for it), all I'll be doing is dragging the unresolved problems I have in this lifetime forward into the next. Something that will do no good either for me or anyone else.

 

[soulfreindly]

I have been where you feel you are Danid -- ie afraid to share for fear of further abuse. My salvation was that I decided I was not alone and that there are souls who have more wisdom than I . There are alot of weird and close to seemingly impossible things to comprehend. Yet we do have a comanality of being human. If you do not look or reach out for help you might get lost in your pain.


I would recommend giving something new a try and if something happens go with that , and then do it again.. This is what we all must do. I do not think you are going to get a chance to say no to coming back into many other lives .. And so do it right now and help the suffering. yours and others...


soulfreindly

 

[DavidW]

Thanks, soulfriendly. I certainly don't like the idea of having no say in the matter of whether I return or not. I think it's being forced to do something against your will. And after all, wasn't God supposed to have given men the freedom of choice to go their own way and choose their own path?


I have read, though, that although the average period between lifetimes is forty of our Earthly years, some souls stay in the spirit world for hundreds of years...although it's far more difficult to spiritually progress there than in the Earthly realm. If that's true, then maybe some people are given a choice.

 

[deborah]

Hi David,


Charles Richards (a regressionist and author) had the following in his newsletter. Having clear intent when dealing with meetings that are stressful, or dreaded may be helpful in your case.

Clearing Obstacles and Dissolving Density - Soul to Soul.
Often we face interactions and meetings with others, requiring them to assist or serve us. Conversely, we are required to serve others as we go through life. These interactions can be challenging when the mind and emotions engage old habits, fears, and reactive patterns from this or past-lives.


For example, a problematic auto repair requiring additional visits and discussion can quickly escalate to a charged exchange, having a ripple effect that creates unwanted karma.


When we approach a meeting or event with expectations for success it helps to communicate our intent in advance to the Souls involved. This recognizes the principle "As above so below" and is done through the inner channels.


The way this is done is quite simple. It’s ideally practiced days prior to your interview, presentation, medical procedure, meeting, or any important event.


Exercise: Take a seat where it’s quiet and you will be undisturbed. It helps to do a short contemplation, meditation, or prayer just prior to the visualization to settle the mind and open the heart.


Close your eyes and imagine yourself in the setting where the event will occur (no need to have been there before).


See the other party or parties involved. Important: Recognize them as fellow Souls and the Oneness you share with them.


Establish a heart connection and ask if they will offer their best as Soul during the time you are together. Let them know you plan to do the same for them. If they have questions or concerns, answer them from the heart to their satisfaction. Briefly see the interaction proceeding harmoniously and successfully. Feel this as if you were there. The feeling is more important than clear visuals. When the experience feels fulfilled, end the exercise.


Repeat this exercise up to three times prior to more important meetings or events. Congratulations! You have set the mold for a more successful outcome.

You do have a choice.

 

[Florence]

My goodness Dave....you make me feel so bad for you. It's terrible to feel so depressed. Do you have a close friend that you could talk to? Maybe you could talk to some kind of counselor.


You don't need to tell us about your troubles but maybe a stranger could listen and be of some help.


As far as in between lives....I have read that there are members of your spirit group who are ready and willing to comfort you. They are willing to comfort you NOW if you ask for help. Do you meditate? If you don't....you might give it a try. and ask your Guardian Angel for strength and comfort. I will say some prayers and send some white light to protect you......


If anyone ever needed a hug...it's you "HUG"


and here is another one "HUG"....grin.....


Make yourself some tea or hot chocolate and turn on a funny movie.....maybe tomorrow will dawn a little brighter....

 

[soulfreindly]

I certainly don't like the idea of having no say in the matter of whether I return or not. I think it's being forced to do something against your will. And after all, wasn't God supposed to have given men the freedom of choice to go their own way and choose their own path?

I did not say we do not have a choice about the life we chose, just that we will need to return eventually to a several lives to find the love we are missing. It is not a short term process where we can learn everything and so we have to return to learn .


In fact this impatience was my lesson this life... ie to believe and have the courage to ask for love. I was a bit of a control freak and was often thinking about what I thought would bring me happiness. SO it is not that I did not have my wishes , it is just that those wishes were based on a neive and negative attitude towards life.


soulfreindly

 

[DavidW]

Thanks for your reply, Florence. Thanks for your prayers and white light and hugs. I don't know if they'll do any good, but they certainly won't do any harm. I have no friends nor family to confide in. I am completely alone. I have been to see a counsellor, but there's nothing he could do, unfortunately, because my problems are too deep rooted. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that their origin is in a previous life and that certain things that have happened to me in this life have merely made things worse.


I have tried asking people in spirit for help, but nothing ever changes. God doesn't want to know, either. I don't think I have a spirit guide or guardian angel...not everybody does...but if I do, they just ignore me. I haven't meditated...I wouldn't know how...and it's not something I could get the hang of anyhow. However, despite my personal life being a disaster, there is one good thing to report...I'm always lucky on eBay. Not that that will make any difference to what ails me.


Here are a couple of true historical anecdotes. When I was six years old, I was involved in two dramatic accidents that would have killed any other child, but I miraculously survived without a scratch (well, not quite, as there were a few bruises that soon healed).


In the first, I was hit with great force by a speeding car and sent flying several feet through the air before landing with a thud in the middle of the road. The car driver stopped and got out and rushed towards me, expecting me to be dead. But, although I was badly shaken, I was otherwise okay.


In the second, I fell sixty feet down some sandstone cliffs at Brinksway, Stockport, into the deep and fast flowing River Mersey. My life was saved by two men who were in the right place at the right time. One of them dived into the river and dragged me out unconscious and he and the other man dragged me onto a ledge above the river and the second man gave me artificial respiration, even though the first man told him it was pointless, because I was dead. But the second man persevered and eventually I began to cough and splutter and eject the filthy river water from my lungs.


Apart from the fact that, due to the trauma of the incident, I have never had any memory of either the fall into the river or my rescue, I survived unscathed. A miracle, said everyone at the time (July, 1953) and I have to admit that it looks as though someone, somewhere was making sure I didn't go just yet...especially when you consider that the location of the accident was a notorious place for such happenings and many children had fallen into the river there in the past and had been swept away and drowned. So why did I survive when all the others did not? Who knows?


If I was saved because of something important that I still had to do later on in my life, well, 56 years later, that something important still hasn't turned up. Another way of looking at it is that I was meant to drown that day, but something went wrong and I survived. Maybe that's why I've lived such a negative life since then. Perhaps it's because I'm not even supposed to be here.

 

[Ailish]

HI David,

I am completely alone. I have been to see a counsellor, but there's nothing he could do, unfortunately, because my problems are too deep rooted.

There is one small issue I have with such a statement. That being, no one can heal you, but YOU. You have to be willing to invest the time and the effort to work alongside a professionally trained individual. If you feel that a counsellor is not doing his or her job properly, then it's your responsibility to find the one you feel is right. And by right I don't mean the one who can magically fix everything - I mean the one that can offer some guidance and insight into your situation. But you also have to be willing to listen and do the recommended work to become well.

I have tried asking people in spirit for help, but nothing ever changes. God doesn't want to know, either. I don't think I have a spirit guide or guardian angel...not everybody does...but if I do, they just ignore me.

Again - they are not magic workers - they are guides. They can and do influence our lives in very subtle ways, but you have to be open and willing to listen. Change does not come from the outside - it comes from within, and you have to be willing to put forth the effort to make whatever changes you need to - to find happiness.

I haven't meditated...I wouldn't know how...and it's not something I could get the hang of anyhow.

If you haven't tried it - how do you know? To say you cannot succeed at something is a very negative and limiting boundary that you've set for yourself. Meditation is simply a relaxed state - anyone can achieve that and it's extremely beneficial to the body and the mind.


If you truly want to change your life - I challenge you to read through your posts. See how many times you've written "I can't" or similarly negative comments. Take a deep breath, and imagine writing "I can" and turning those negative thoughts into positive ones.


I'm sure that you've heard the Law of Attraction - what we put out, we get back. If you are reflecting in negativity, you will draw that back to you. Once you learn to start being positive about things - you draw that positivity to you and your life begins to change. And please don't say, "I can't," because you can. The choice really is up to you, David.


Wishing you well,


Ailish

 

[Gardyloo]

Hello DavidW


I've read through everything you've written on this thread and I can tell two things: First that you've really got yourself in the habit of thinking negatively; and secondly that you are exceptionally bright.


I'm familiar with those sorts of feelings myself so what you wrote really touched me so I thought I'd add this message to the thread.


Our thoughts are powerful - they are literally how we form the world around us - and you have used your intelligence to weave yourself a rather iron clad negative spiral (in my opinion). But the good news is that you can use that same mind to turn things around and change your thinking to change your life. As simplistic or even "New-Agey" as it might sound, you need to quite literally make the conscious choice to think positive thoughts and reject negative ones. And that means counteracting those negative thoughts no matter how trivial or how "true" they seem. For instance, the next time you think, "love doesn't exist", catch yourself in that thought and counter it with the thought, "love exists and I will find it when the time is right for me" (or words to that effect). Even if you feel silly saying the positive things because they are unfamiliar to you, give it a go. You might surprise yourself with how much it will change your mood.


Another good thing to do is to make a list of things you are thankful for. Are you thankful for your health? Your intelligence? Your DVD player? Really, anything counts. Write them down and dwell on those things!


You may or may not have certain behavioral issues that are the result of past life trauma. Who knows? But at the end of the day you are in this life for a reason and this life is what counts right now. You are given these obstacles/heartaches/trials because you are supposed to work through them, not wish them all away and put them on hold.


Well anyway, I just wanted to give my thoughts on the subject. I realize I'm just some anonymous person on an internet forum, but I wish you the best!

 

[stardis]

Our thoughts are powerful - they are literally how we form the world around us...

Welcome to the forum Gardyloo.


The statement you made is so true. I am going to write that down and place it where I can remind myself of its importance everyday.


DavidW,


I wish you a belated Happy Birthday!!

 

[Florence]

Hi Dave,


Well, for a guy that no one cares about..I think you have been pretty popular here.


Do you believe in Astrology? I do...Your a Taurus personality. Taurus people often have beautiful singing and speaking voices. They love beautiful and expensive things..possessions are important to them....but....they are VERY stubborn and can form a habit as quick as you can blink an eye. They can be lazy and they want the world to come to them.....most of all...they hate change.


Sound like anyone you know???


You DO sound extremely negative in your posts.


What you have to realize is that happiness is an ATTITUDE. You can choose to be happy or sad. It's all in the way that you view things. It was suggested above and I agree.....go to another counselor. Maybe the fellow you went to was not very good at his job. Try another person..a priest or a minister maybe...


Have you considered being regressed? Maybe you could try that and see if it helps


If you don't care for adults then try what I suggested previously....Call up a hospital and ask if you can visit the children's ward. Pick up a few books and take a bus to the hospital and read to the kids. My older sister used to read to my sister Monie and I. I loved it and still remember the Fairy Tales, Winnie The Pooh and the English Brownie stories. Oh how mad the cook was when the Brownies would walk on her white linen tablecloth with their dirty feet from the coal bin. Well...it was her own fault...she didn't leave them a bowl of milk....giggle I loved it. Do you remember those old stories? Reading to children would take their mind off of their illness and would take YOUR mind off your self. It would give you a lift I'm sure.


David....no one is going to come knocking on your door and announce "Hi, I'm your new best friend!!"


You have to go out of your comfort zone and get out and find a friend. There are many many great people out there....


Tell yourself this year is going to be a great year


Don't sit on your bottom and wait for it to happen.....make it happen.....try....

 

[DavidW]

Well, Florence, I am a bit surprised that I'm popular here, but I'm very pleased to be so. There is nothing I'd like better than to read storybooks to children in a hospital and years ago, the hospital authorities would have welcomed such helpers. But unfortunately, here in the UK, the paranoia about paedophilia has reached such unreasonable proportions that it has become very difficult for a male adult to work anywhere near children. There is a new law that states that anyone wanting to work with children, especially men, must have a Criminal Record Bureau Check to make sure they have no convictions for child molestation. This insult to men actually means that every man in the country, all thirty million of them, is classed as a potential child molester until proved otherwise. There is now such a backlog of checks that it could take between six and twelve months for a man to be cleared for working with children. It's a bit like the "reds under the bed" paranoia of the early 1950's. Only these days, it's not a red under every bed, but a paedo in every classroom.


It is, however, much easier for women to get such jobs in hospitals, nurseries and primary schools, because it is assumed that no woman in the world would ever harm a child, which is, of course, absolute nonsense. Neverthess, female teachers vastly outnumber their male counterparts and it's virtually unheard of for a man to work in a nursery. This is why there is such a shortage of scout leaders and such, because men know that in the present climate of paranoia, any man applying to work with children is looked upon with great suspicion. In fact, these days, despite the fact that only a very tiny minority of men in the population are paedophiles, any interest in children, no matter how beneficial or innocent, is looked upon as a sexual interest. Yes, it really has got that bad here. So, reading to children in a hospital is out, I'm afraid. At least for another thirty years, while the paranoia gradually disappears.


But I shall search the Internet locally to see if there are any groups around here that I could join. There is a church not a hundred yards from me and I have been invited to attend on a number of occasions, but churchgoing just isn't my scene. Singing hymns reminds me of morning assembly at school and I had a very unhappy school life. I don't even like to watch films about school. So church is out. I did, however, join the local spiritualist church about six or seven years ago and found it very interesting, with the demonstrations of mediumship and such. But when I realised I was expected to sing hymns as well, I stopped going.


Yes, I do believe in astrology, the genuine kind, not the bunkum put in the daily papers. But I could never have a proper astrological forecast done, because I don't know the actual time of my birth. I wish I'd asked my mother about it when she was here, but I didn't and she passed on twenty-three years ago. So it's a bit late now. Saying that I was born sometime during Saturday, April 26th, 1947, isn't accurate enough for a proper forecast to be done.


Thank you Gardyloo for your compliment that I'm bright. Well, I'm reasonably intelligent, I suppose and I can read and write very well considering that I had a lot of time off school due to illness. As someone once told me, "just think where you'd be now if you'd gone to school every day."

 

[Florence]

OK David.....sign up for a police check. If it takes 6 months...no biggie. If you later don't want to do it...that's fine.


You really need the correct time to do a chart...but on April 26th, 1947, the moon stayed in one sign all 24 hours....It was Cancer. Good old sensitive Cancer. Loving, nurturing, compassionate and often psychic Cancer. Lover of women and most especially their mothers. Love antiques and their privacy. Negative traits are moody, crabby, every easily offended and when hurt shuts up like a clam.


The emotional need is for security so Cancer worries and tends to hoard,


You DO have a good mind...Venus, Mars and Mercury all in Aries. Loves outdoors, sports, activity....Mars in Aries likes to argue and wants to always be right...Oh Oh.... Mars is conjunct your Mercury (mind) adding speed....Mercry gets aspects from Uranus (intuitive, inspired, technical) and Saturn (ambition...common sense)


You have aspects to your Sun (self) saying you were in some way estranged from your father and you have an inferiority complex ...no matter how you appear on the outside.


Taurus Sun holds grudges..if the Cancer Moon person is critisized


If you were born anywhere around 10:00 AM you would also have a Cancer Ascendent (1st house) which just adds more fuel (sensitivity) to the fire.


You should have married because your a family person and very sentimental. Meet some nice woman and buy twin beds.....Everything is possible....

 

[DavidW]

Well, Florence, you will no doubt be pleased to hear that 99 % of what you said about me in your astrological forecast above is quite accurate...with the exception of loving sport. I've never been a sports fan and never played any sports as a youngster and was excused sport at school because of my medical condition. I'm also no good as part of a team and have to go my own way and, after all, football and many other sports are all about teamwork.


The use of twin beds in a relationship where sleeping is concerned is a practical idea, but I'd have to search far and wide for a partner that would put up with such an arrangement and I think I'm a bit too old now at 62 to be entering into any relationship or becoming a father. I would never live to see my children grow up. It's far too late for me now and, as far as this life is concerned, the last bus went a long time ago and there won't be another one.


Regression therapy is also worth considering, but the sessions are far too expensive for me at the moment, with them costing around £300 ($500) a session and I would need at least three sessions. A very dear do and it might not work anyway, as some people can't be regressed. In my case, considering that hypnosis is a form of going to sleep, how would the therapist manage to put me in such a relaxed state when I'm too anxious to go to sleep in the presence of another person?


Some therapists, like the one I saw, do not believe in people having had previous lives and so won't entertain the idea that what ails you doesn't have its origin in the life you're living now. But I did discuss the idea with someone who was more sympathetic to the idea of hypnotic regression. "But", I ventured, "if I was regressed back to a time when this thing, whatever it was, happened to me, wouldn't the shock of re-experiencing it kill me?" "No, it wouldn't kill you", he said, "but you would become very, very upset."


With this opinion in mind, I don't see how bringing the memories of such trauma to the surface could have any form of healing effect and could only make matters worse.

 

[tanguerra]

Hi DavidW.


Welcome. You are in the right place to have these questions answered (probably with more answers that you might have imagined - and all very good ones too. )


The others have been sharing some valuable insights with you and I will just add a few thoughts to the chorus.


Q: Is there any such thing as reincarnation?


In my view. Yes. Of course! . This belief is based not only on my many personal experiences, but also that it simply makes as much sense as any other theory...


This is a very good thread about the logical basis for a belief in reincarnation: Life death and everything in between

Now, as I learned all those lessons many years ago, why am I being left so conspiculously alive? My lessons are long learned. So in theory, I should have passed on to the spirit world a long time ago. In other words, my still being here is pointless. Somebody somewhere has goofed.

Perhaps, dear Grasshopper, your lessons are not yet learned? Could it be you have miscalculated, or as you put it 'goofed'? Perhaps, on the other hand, all is not lost. Perhaps 'destiny' (however you conceive Her) has brought you here for some 'revision' of your lessons with a few wise cyber-souls? Just a thought....?

In fact, there really has been no point at all to my being here this time around and, if there are those who say we are all here to learn lessons to help our souls to progress...

In my view (others differ in their opinions) there is not always a 'point' or a 'lesson' or a well-thought out plan for each life.


This is a good thread exploring some of the issues and personal beliefs about the matter: Choice and pre-planning.


I also recommend this one for some of your questions regarding destiny and so on: Karma is not punishment


Your childhood recollection of an 'issue' related to revolutionary Russia rings true to me with many of my own childhood meomories. There is a lot of emotion, but also a lot of uncertainty as to what it could possibly be 'about'! That might be a good place to begin some explorations of your past life memories - in Russia?


Have you read this thread: "How to find out more about your past lives?"


Certainly I would suggest that your strong aversion to bullying or harming anyone in your childhood would have been the residue of a past life 'lesson' (or an ingrained instinct, learned from the 'aversion therapy' of an unpleasant past life experience, depending on how you like to characterise these things). It is a pity that you decided later in life to abandon that nobler 'path'. Perhaps, it is time to think more deeply about the lessons from this life (or the apparent lack of them in your opinion) and ponder whether that 'unlearning' of the lesson of gentleness and compassion has been an asset or a liability to you in this life? Just a suggestion. Food for thought?


On suffering, I offer this.

With this opinion in mind, I don't see how bringing the memories of such trauma to the surface could have any form of healing effect and could only make matters worse.

The value is in putting some 'rationality' into the emotion of it all. Taking an objective look at all that 'trauma' and 'drama' from long ago, and realizing you are actually still alive and well, then working out what you may have done (or had done to you) in that time can put it all into perspective in strange ways... Then you can let it go. It is not just having the memory which is the healing part, it is what you think about it later that is most important. This is a good thread: Can the soul heal from past life trauma?

 

[W.A. HEART]

Hello David - welcome to the Forum. I'm glad you have found us, and I'm sure you'll find a lot of constructive debate around many of the issues and questions you have raised here in your thread.


I believe there are things - events - in our lives that are simply impossible ( or really hard ) to accept, and that no matter how you turn them around, there's no way you can make them look good or feel good. They are - bad.


Well, but you are here - somehow, with more or less damage, you have pulled through. I think it's very legitimate that you question the Universe's (or however you prefer to call it) designs. We all do, David, for one reason or another.


I think you got some great answers from the other members already - there's nothing much I can add except my welcome, and a little thought: there is a place of peace and comfort inside you. A place were it feels warm and soft. It may be elusive, and it may feel despicably small. But it's there. Look for it - hold on to how it feels. I wouldn't be surprised if those feelings began to find mirrors in your life.


BTW - IMO, you cannot know that it's too late, as well as you can never know that you have time. You just have now. Take it.

 

[W.A. HEART]

Gardyloo - welcome to the forum!! And thanks for the great input! :thumbsup: