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How to Cope...

sconnie82

sconnie82

New Member
I am posting this here because there are so many kind people in this forum and I am not made to feel like an outcast. I have lived in Wisconsin, USA my entire life but I feel Irish. I listen to Irish music all the time, read the authors, look at pictures ...everything. I love the traditions, the culture, the history. I do have Irish roots on my Dad's side, but no one in the family (nuclear or extended) feels that same connection.

I have had what I think are some PL memories, pertaining to a village that I believe to be in Ireland and others about an Irish soldier who was part of the Flight of the Wild Geese into France. It could well be the same person, just pieces from his time in both countries.

But regardless, I feel like a traitor to my own nation because of my love for another one. I love America, but it does not feel like my home. When people speak of being nostalgic or having a sense of local pride, I do not feel it for America. I feel it for Ireland. It is the oddest feeling, to go through life loving a country and a culture not your own. I don't know why I have this...but it is ever-present.
 
sconnie82


It’s quite understandable to feel this way, but please don’t burden yourself anymore, I’ve felt the same way from time to time, believing myself to have lived a short lived life in WWII England.


Most of us return to live many lives so as to learn new things from lifetime to lifetime and to develop the capacity to love one another without condition.


For instance, on the spiritual side, our thinking is quite different in ways we cannot imagine, but once in a physical body, we often succumb towards our baser instincts of the flesh such as wars and war like behavior.


It’s sometimes a difficult concept to grasp, but loyalties in the flesh are often important in the flesh, but lose it’s importance in the spirit, so it quite often leads to conflicts in the current life when you have yearnings for some other place and time.


If possible, you might consider a Past Life Regression (PLR) in the future so as to lay the issues to rest and to understand your reasons behind this confusion.


And if you don’t mind (and you go ahead with a PLR), please let us know how it went and good luck with your endeavors. :)
 
I identify with being Chinese more than anything but id rather live here than there lol.
 
I have a great love for this nation, the US, but I have had friends who identified very strongly with the cultures of other nations. Treason is not the act of not loving your own nation, it's the act of working to defeat it. As long as you're not seeking to throw the Constitution out the window, I think you're safe! ;) Are you able to travel to Ireland? It might be a worthy goal. Do you know the name of the village?
 
I can understand that clearly.. I have a liking for Germany and I wish to go there one day... But its very very far.. Plus the cost is really high in my country. My father who just visited there had to live on breakfast and dinner. But he brought back some delicacies. It is also embarrassing whenever my friends hear me talk about Germany. They are all interested in Japan, Korea (due to K-pop.. I'm fine with it.) My country don't study any Holocaust subjects and WW2 subjects are Japanese invading Asia. So, it is a living hell everyday.. Luckily there's internet and discovery channel.


During my countries independence day, I hesitated a lot to wave the flag.. It wasn't mine, why should I wave it? That's what I thought. But we have to adapt, maybe one day we get to return.. But the place itself will be a different place (Ex. Germany changed its National Anthem after WW2)


So, out of current respect I wave the flag now.. I take it as I got thrown out and taken in by the new country.. It soothes the pain a little.
 
Thank you all for your time and your replies, it is truly appreciated.


Hydrolad - your response was very interesting and brought to mind several questions. Do you feel that some people feel more of a pull towards a country or culture not their own because of something unresolved? I don't mean for that to sound as "medium" as it does, as if I'm trying to learn more about a haunted house. But it's true in a sense...my life is in America but I am haunted by an island.. My ghosts are Irish, all of the romantic notions of Eire (the sea, the countryside, the cottages, the sadness) are inside me. When I hear someone playing pipes or a tin whistle, my heart catches in my throat. Your point about the flesh succumbing to war is funny in a way - I've often thought that, although I have no drive to serve in the military, I would have fought for Ireland in a heartbeat should she be threatened. How awful is that, that I would turn my back on the military that my loved ones have served in but would take up arms for another. If I undergo a PLR, I will be sure to share it with you.


Totoro - Believe me, I understand. I am very fortunate to live here and am thankful to live the life I have. That is why my other pull is so confusing.


Shiftkitty - I have nothing against the US...nothing at all! I am just bothered by my lack of patriotism and pride. I actually have been to Ireland once (five years ago). It was lovely and felt like home. I visited the southwest part, staying in Tralee and Limerick. I do not know the name of the village in my dreams...only that I sense it's on or near the west coast. Of course, that is the region most romanticized, so perhaps I'm misled by my heart. I am not interested in Dublin or anywhere once considered part of the Pale. The more wild the region, the more I love it.


Wuxin - It's funny. My heritage is primarily German and the city & state I live in today are very German in heritage. You would be quite at home here, second perhaps only to Germany itself. Still, I feel very little for Germany, and worry that I am a disappointment to my own ancestors for that reason. It seems like a pretty country, but I feel like a stranger to it. I do understand quite well your feelings, I too feel strange for talking about Ireland when my friends and family wonder why I must talk about it. Best wishes to you, my friend.
 
Hi, Sconnie


So interesting how you or any of us feel an affinity with a certain place and although we may never know why it can't hurt to keep exploring all aspects of our feelings or at least I think so.


I must have had a feeling for Ireland also. My ancestors were all from Denmark or so I thought. I was very proud and happy about my danish heritage, but years ago in school a teacher asked our nationalities and impulsively I said I was Irish. I don't know why that came out of my mouth, and it bothered me so I told my mom who became very upset with me for lying. It turned out in later years I was doing family history and found on my father's side his mom was married first to an Irish man so his real father was Irish. Just a cool coincidence to me anyway.
 
If nothing else, then, regarding Ireland and America, might I suggest some history books of the Irish in America? Granted they went through a lot of crap that makes the INS look warm and welcoming to the illegals sneaking across the southern border (remember, though, that the Irish came here legally), but it might help you gain a perspective that ties the two nations together.
 
wow! i would love to feel so attached to a country or place the way you do for ireland.


i am blessed to live in america but i also dont feel any deep sense of patriotism towards the country the way some of my friends do. just doesnt feel right to me.


i am what some would call a "wandering soul", lived all over the world at different times, and although i believe it has helped my soul to be able to adapt so easily to different cultures, honestly it can get pretty lonely not feeling connections to anything anywhere.
 
sconnie82 said:
Wuxin - It's funny. My heritage is primarily German and the city & state I live in today are very German in heritage. You would be quite at home here, second perhaps only to Germany itself. Still, I feel very little for Germany, and worry that I am a disappointment to my own ancestors for that reason. It seems like a pretty country, but I feel like a stranger to it. I do understand quite well your feelings, I too feel strange for talking about Ireland when my friends and family wonder why I must talk about it. Best wishes to you, my friend.
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Thanks, although I would love to pity myself but I pity my sister more. She was a very patriotic Soviet (In WW2, she was one of the guys who helped Kantaria place the flag on top of the Reichstag and I first met her there in deadly CQC. So, whenever I hear someone complain ' Imagine living with your enemy' I always feel like saying 'Yep.. My current roommate.') so the feeling of homesickness still lingers. So, she plays a lot of Call of Duty games (Especially those with Russian campaigns.. I too play them (sue me).. Its weird, shooting your pixel comrades...==") but I always say that next time we can go back.


PS. It is now very easy to wake my sister as she is a VERY heavy sleeper..Last time, I can't ever wake her up but now I knock on the door screaming in German 'Major Datskiv, (Her PL name) this is the Gestapo!!' heh heh... You should see her face and expression. Priceless. But of course, I don't do that. Only if we're late to school. ;)
 
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Reading 'Major Datskiv, (Her PL name) this is the Gestapo!!' gave ma laugh of my life! Thank you for that!
 
sconnie82


I read your post and just had to reply - In this life I am American but identify with Ireland much more strongly, just like you.


To me, there is nothing wrong with liking another culture, country, language, etc. more than your current one. When you reincarnate many times, and experience all these different places & things, it seems that sometimes you get attached on a soul level to one, and that carries over to your current life with such a longing for it again, or at least that is the case with me…


I’ve had many things carry over from my Irish life (I may have had more than one life there). I play the fiddle, all the Irish jigs & reels, (just like in my past life), I do Celtic calligraphy and knot work, sometimes I slip into an Irish brogue accidentally and can memorize Irish/Gaelic lyrics to a song easier than English ones, have attempted to teach myself a tiny bit of the language just because I love the sound of it…When I see pictures of Ireland, I just stop and look. When I walk through a book store, my eyes naturally find everything to do with Ireland, it jumps out at me.

sconnie82 said:
my life is in America but I am haunted by an island.. My ghosts are Irish, all of the romantic notions of Eire (the sea, the countryside, the cottages, the sadness) are inside me. When I hear someone playing pipes or a tin whistle, my heart catches in my throat.
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Your comment about the pipes and whistles - I'm exactly the same way! So much so that I've taught myself to play the Irish Tin/Penny Whistle and Bodhran drum and greatly enjoy playing them, plus I teach private Tin Whistle lessons. I'm always listening to Irish music!


I plan to go and see Ireland one day (not Dublin, the rural areas), only problem is, when I do I might not want to come back!! :) Embrace your love for the beautiful green isle like I have, it does NOT make you a traitor of any kind.
 
MaritaMari said:
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Reading 'Major Datskiv, (Her PL name) this is the Gestapo!!' gave ma laugh of my life! Thank you for that!
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Glad I made your day :D ! But she was yelling back 'You ain't the Gestapo! You're talking English!!' HAHA!! Wait till I scream in German..
 
LOL, you gotta realize that if there are any supremely enligtened beings that run the whole show, they're slapping their foreheads groaning "That's not what reincarnation was meant for!" :laugh:
 
If it was that simple, we would already be there. Most of us lack time and money to travel to the places we want to go. So the best we can do is here is read the newspaper catch up with them, support their football team (Err.. That's for me..), google pictures to see the marvellous buildings and buy products from that country (Also me.. It isn't stereotype that Germans are proud of their tech.. But even a Volkswagen cost a lot in my country.. :( )
 
Sconnie82: I am posting this here because there are so many kind people in this forum and I am not made to feel like an outcast. I have lived in Wisconsin, USA my entire life but I feel Irish. I listen to Irish music all the time, read the authors, look at pictures ...everything. I love the traditions, the culture, the history. I do have Irish roots on my Dad's side, but no one in the family (nuclear or extended) feels that same connection.
I have had what I think are some PL memories, pertaining to a village that I believe to be in Ireland and others about an Irish soldier who was part of the Flight of the Wild Geese into France. It could well be the same person, just pieces from his time in both countries.


But regardless, I feel like a traitor to my own nation because of my love for another one. I love America, but it does not feel like my home. When people speak of being nostalgic or having a sense of local pride, I do not feel it for America. I feel it for Ireland. It is the oddest feeling, to go through life loving a country and a culture not your own. I don't know why I have this...but it is ever-present.
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I tend to experience the same although in a slightly different way - I feel very close to the North German/Swedish/Finnish culture/areas - but in a sense they are somewhat intertwined. It has not been easy for me to either obtain certain things that I would like to have or try to get somewhere with my research - so the best way for me is to simply 'be' that part of me that is 'of' this. To embody it rather than 'externalize' it (not that there is anything wrong with that) - but by doing it this way, it allows me to connect to my soul better and embrace my identity better.


Now, because I didn't reincarnate by birth, I really don't feel that feeling of being a traitor. The feeling I have is that of being here as an illegal alien! :laugh: But thankfully I have known English back then and had been to the U.S. (although not the present location I'm in now) back then as well...but the customs and culture of the U.S. is still very 'alien' to me.
 
Lady&theUnicorn said:
When you reincarnate many times, and experience all these different places & things, it seems that sometimes you get attached on a soul level to one, and that carries over to your current life with such a longing for it again, or at least that is the case with me…
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Hello, it's great to meet a kindred spirit. Though we're all figuring ourselves out (and I think everyone who contributed in this thread), your comment resonated for obvious reasons. I am strongly connected to Ireland, almost uncomfortably so. I feel like my birth family should be Irish, that they should know the things that make us Irish...except they're not Irish.

Lady&theUnicorn said:
sometimes I slip into an Irish brogue accidentally and can memorize Irish/Gaelic lyrics to a song easier than English ones, have attempted to teach myself a tiny bit of the language just because I love the sound of it…When I see pictures of Ireland, I just stop and look. When I walk through a book store, my eyes naturally find everything to do with Ireland, it jumps out at me.
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Funny quick story that you brought to mind: before I visited Ireland in 2006, I called the airline to confirm my flight. My first flight was going from Chicago to London via American Airlines. They confirmed my flight, but they had to transfer me to Aer Lingus (Irish airline) to confirm my London to Shannon flight. When I was confirming that over the phone, the woman asked if I was coming home. I said no, it was a visit, that I am an American. She laughed and said I had a Northern Irish (Norn Iron, she called it) accent. She thought I lived in N. Ireland and was coming back from the US on a trip. I took Gaelic in college as my foreign language and I absolutely stop and notice ANYTHING about Ireland in a bookstore, museum, etc. I don't play any Irish instruments, I just think they sound like home. They're beautiful.

Lady&theUnicorn said:
I plan to go and see Ireland one day (not Dublin, the rural areas), only problem is, when I do I might not want to come back!! :) Embrace your love for the beautiful green isle like I have, it does NOT make you a traitor of any kind.
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You'll love it. I saw the southwest in general. The forests and lakes outside of Killarney were amazing. The vivid green fields and winding, tight roads between Tralee and Dingle are as fresh in my mind's eye as they were five years ago. If you get there while still a member of this great forum, PLEASE write about your experiences. I would love to hear about them, if you'd be so kind as to share!
 
Kapitan said:
It has not been easy for me to either obtain certain things that I would like to have or try to get somewhere with my research - so the best way for me is to simply 'be' that part of me that is 'of' this. To embody it rather than 'externalize' it (not that there is anything wrong with that) - but by doing it this way, it allows me to connect to my soul better and embrace my identity better.
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Would you be willing to elucidate your meaning here? I find this idea very interesting. If I understand correctly, I should mention that I am not trying to externalize my feelings toward Ireland. In fact, I have an almost visceral aversion to what is jokingly termed "Oirishness". This is the cartoonized, packaged view of Ireland held by many Americans. Leprechauns, green beer, lucky everything, etc. That is not Ireland. To be Irish in heart and soul comes from inside us. I simply have a hard time compromising my American exterior with my Irish interior, if that makes sense. Like you, I feel like an immigrant from the Old World trying to fit into the New World. I just can't shake the overwhelming feeling of being out of place and wrong.
 
sconnie82 said:
You'll love it. I saw the southwest in general. The forests and lakes outside of Killarney were amazing. The vivid green fields and winding, tight roads between Tralee and Dingle are as fresh in my mind's eye as they were five years ago. If you get there while still a member of this great forum, PLEASE write about your experiences. I would love to hear about them, if you'd be so kind as to share!
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Your discription alone makes me yearn to go....


I would LOVE to see Killarny, maybe you can give me some ideas of the best places to see and stay around there?


You studied Gaelic - wow! I love the sound of the old words. Irish music and instruments were a main part of my Irish life, and felt so familiar this time, they have become a huge part of my life all over again!


Well, I plan on being an active member of this great forum for quite a long while, so when I do make it to Ireland, I will be sure to post about my visit.


My dream is - before I go - to have a professional regression with Barbara Lane or Carol Bowman and learn more about my Irish life that has carried over so strongly. I remember a lot of that life, but have some things to work out/move on from that I have been unable to let go of so far, even after a group regression. I want to know where I lived, and go there instead of just anywhere in Ireland. I don’t have a grave, the cottage is probably long gone, my family was separated from me so don’t know where they would be buried either…But I’d like to at least set foot in the county I lived in, what a feeling that would be...If either of us learn where our location was, we should make sure to share it with each other.


(have also sent you a PM) :)
 
I'm quite sure there was a reason I was born here and now. :D I think it was mainly safety and opportunity. I died in '46 and was born in '74, which I'm finding is a long time really to reincarnate.


I probably needed the rest but at the same time I feel my dad wanted me to be born after all the wars.

Now, because I didn't reincarnate by birth, I really don't feel that feeling of being a traitor.
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But one way or another, it was a choice, as is reincarnation.


I think if you had to ask and just judging from this thread (and forum!) I think everyone's top two questions would be:


1. Why do I have these memories or feeling that something isn't right?


and


2. Why do I feel like I belong somewhere else?


I suppose those are all questions we have to understand and figure out for ourselves. However as I said, it's a choice and somewhere you (people in general) set up the circumstances of your birth for one reason or another.


All things considered, there's no real reason to feel bad or confused about having a fondness for one place or time, however I would try and balance it out by trying to understand the positives, reasons and opportunities for where you are now.


You put yourself there, so you owe it to yourself to make the most of it as well :D
 
Sconnie: Would you be willing to elucidate your meaning here? I find this idea very interesting. If I understand correctly, I should mention that I am not trying to externalize my feelings toward Ireland. In fact, I have an almost visceral aversion to what is jokingly termed "Oirishness". This is the cartoonized, packaged view of Ireland held by many Americans. Leprechauns, green beer, lucky everything, etc. That is not Ireland. To be Irish in heart and soul comes from inside us. I simply have a hard time compromising my American exterior with my Irish interior, if that makes sense. Like you, I feel like an immigrant from the Old World trying to fit into the New World. I just can't shake the overwhelming feeling of being out of place and wrong.
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First of all - sorry for the late response on this.


I will try to explain the best I can but my explanation might be going into the more 'nebulous' area rather than a more 'grounded' area -


Because I have had a difficult time either trying to obtain items that are/would be related to who I am - it forces me to not hold any 'attachments' to material objects. It's sounds backwards and probably a bit strange considering if one wanted to focus on grounding...but because of not having my identity 'bound up in' or 'rely on' a material object, I am left with no choice but to go within myself to find myself - to connect better with myself.


Sometimes this can be very difficult, but despite that it is a blessing in disguise because I am more able to live my truth (my inner truth) since I have no choice but to 'go within' to connect to myself.


Since my last post here in your thread - I have been fortunate enough to be able to find some things I can 'identify' with as far as my 19c. Finnish lifetime is concerned. But I feel that if I did not go within to connect to myself better, then I probably would have never come across the material I did. And this is where I feel there is a connection between the spiritual world and physical world (internal and external).


I hope that made some sense. :)
 
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