Hello and can you please advise..

[JaqueIsBack]

Greetings all!

Forgive the pun but I will spare you my whole life story, and give a brief introduction of myself before skipping straight to the point, the specific reason that brought me to this forum.

I have a strong scientific background but my strongest side is my more intuitive and spiritually inquisitive side. I am comfortable with the knowledge I have of at least 5 or 6 previous lives, although I am of course hoping to find out more about them in good time. I am aware of my soul path and my reason for being here and my purpose now, but I have a particular problem and am hoping that anyone on here who has had a similar experience or knows someone who has, may help.

I will try to keep this short, and at the same time I am still struggling to put this into words as the emotional impact has been massive and at times overwhelming. Forgive me if I skip, for now, the details on just how exactly I know she is who I say she is.

The thing is, my closest and dearest from one of my previous lives is living where I live now. I moved here some 2 years ago and when I first noticed her, she was with her boyfriend then. I am not one for oggling other guys' partners but the reaction I had was so powerful, I have never reacted that way to a girl before. I was shaking like a leaf, and could not explain why.

Anyway to cut a long story short, she split up with her boyfriend last year and after she had a change of work I started to spot her in town more often. We have spoken but not for a long time now; I am a (so I am told) young-looking 36-year old and she is a very level-headed and beautiful 23. I know there is a certain mutual attraction between us, what holds me back is that I can't bring myself to speak to her, sometimes I can't even bear to look at her, because whereas she doesn't seem to be into the whole spiritual side of life in the way I am and doesn't seem to be aware of past lives, I am pretty much 'carrying on where we left off'. I am afraid of mentioning our connection to her, and I cannot go about approaching her in a way a guy normally would when he likes someone. There's already a deep connection there and it shakes me up so much and smacks my stomach so hard, I just can't quite be 'normal' with her. I see she is bewildered and puzzled by this although sometimes when we have spotted each other in the street her reaction has been the same as mine sometimes has, to jerk her head suddenly away and even sometimes start walking in a different direction.

If only I could walk up to her and say "Hello you! It's been a while hasn't it?" and not have her run to the hills in fear

So I can't bear to see her because I understand each life is different and maybe we are not meant to be together, yet I still deliberately take a certain route through town in the hope I might see her, knowing full well the whole range of emotions I will experience. I wonder if I am just hurting myself by this.

All I am asking is if anyone here has had a similar experience and how did you deal with it.

Thanks for reading anyway, I look forward to browsing the forum in time and hopefully learning from everyone on here.

 

[jonathan21]

This is not from experience but here is what I think you should do.If you are going to meet her get to know her first.She may or may not remember you from a past life.by getting to know her you may get a sense on whether you should bring up your past life together.I am naturally a cautious person so this is from my perspective.

 

[JaqueIsBack]

Thanks Jonathan. I'm ever so cautious too, more so in this case because the last thing I wanted to do was scare her away. I have gotten to know a little about her, it was at this point I realised who she was because until I had actually stood close to her and found out a couple of things about her I didn't know it was her.


The problem is I just can't approach her in the way one normally would, if you know what I mean. Im beginning to think if I won't get the courage just to talk to her again I should forget all about her, which is hard considering I see her at least once a week. Not to mention it would be a shame.


Thanks again though, what you say makes sense.

 

[jonathan21]

you could also take the approach of when your ready just becoming friends.She may remember your past life and be the same position and not know how to approach it. Thats why I suggested taking the cautious approach and getting to know her first.You may be able to make a decision from there.All the best to you.feel free to send me a message at anytime.I will do my best to aid you where I can.welcome to the forum by the way

 

[Mere Dreamer]

Jaque, there is a way to get to know her as she is now. This is something I suggest from experience, but you will have to change possible cultural associations for yourself, first, or you're going to give her a confusing vibe.


1. See and respect her as a unique soul, above any other attraction. (That almost doesn't need to be said to those in this forum, but due to the "claiming others" nature of relationships in common culture, I'll say it anyway.)


2. Be open. Not about the past life, perhaps, but about the fact that you find her to be unique and interesting. Tell her you want to become friends. The worst that will happen is that she'll say, "No." And then you're not in any worse state than you are, now.


It's fine to say, upfront, "I know our culture makes this type of conversation seem suspicious, but I can't think of any other way to get to know you." Or plan something with a group that you think she might enjoy, then casually invite her to come along so you can talk naturally.


3. Only look for friendship from the beginning. Don't talk about "the friend zone" (which is horribly insulting, because it's a privilege! *siderant*) with your friends if she does offer you friendship. Be thankful for any connection and look for what you value about her NOW. See if you can encourage or inspire her to follow her dreams. Look for ways to be a true friend for her benefit, and leave her the freedom (in your expectations) to make mistakes, love, and live as she wishes.


4. Be fully yourself and let her accept or reject you for your truth. Masks are unnecessary and even destructive between souls.


In my experience of making friends with strangers, very few people turn down a genuine offer of friendship. (I've been rejected, though that was an interesting circumstance with a wounded soul, and it looks like he might be slowly changing his mind about it.) The connection will naturally fade into the background if now isn't the time for us to connect, but most people are happy to know someone finds them significant and worth knowing.


The vital key is reminding myself of their freedom to be who they are. My feeling of need for companionship or even love is not their obligation to fulfill. When I forget or am distracted by my sense of need, things go wrong very quickly. People feel our internal demands of them from miles away, it seems. This inevitable recoil has been very useful, since they mirror their view of my intentions so I can see my unconscious binding of others to my expectations, hidden beneath those feelings.


My role in their lives is to be fully myself. I seem to be drawn to people who need my particular perspective or abilities, even temporarily. It's always worth it, even if our time together is only for an hour, a day, or spread out over rare occasions. I benefit from knowing them, too, and recently have also been rewarded with glimpses of our past lives at times.


All this to say, it's worth it to break cultural norms. Just clearly tell her that's what you're doing so she isn't left in a state of bewildered suspicion, then do everything you can to help her feel comfortable and safe, starting with vulnerability and flexibility on your part. You'll figure out the future once you have a this-life history to grow from.

 

[BriarRose]

Have you ever actually spoken to her? That is going to be difficult because your reaction is so profound. You are going to have to make a casual, friendly approach at some point. If you don't, you will always regret it. You might try rehearsing what will happen in your mind. Sometimes, that lends confidence. Be careful though - you have a wide "age gap". Some young girls aren't disturbed by that, but many are. Let the attraction develop slowly. Slow and easy wins the fair lady. Past life connections can win over obstacles, even shyness. We all wish you success!