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Decisions.....decisions....

well, Im still quote enough involved with the present life I cant really say Ive ever given that any thought. I'm still figuring out 'who' and 'what' this life is all about and I'm not about to assume Ill be constrained to those things when I do figure them out. I doubt very much I'm beholden to one role in this day and age. No reason why I couldnt quit engineering and become a musician if I wanted to, for example.


Of course when I was younger I'd wish that I'd have been born into a richer family but after some time I've realized that sort of thing sort of isnt as important as I thought it was. Hoping things for next life feels a lot like regretting things about this life and thats something I try to avoid doing. Id rather realize my own ambitions for this life first, no need to get ahead of myself LOL
 
yeah i understand were your coming from, for me if life was a piece of paper, mine would be scrumpled up and thrown in the bin, and start again with a blank page with the next life lol coffee
 
As someone who firmly abhors failure, believe me, I totally understand that. It's my own perspective of course, and it took a bit of time to realize it, but there is tremendous value in a life, and the amount of 'mistakes' one might make doesn't really diminish opportunity for the future. Rome wasn't built in a day, and no one is perfect. My favorite platitudes! Terribly optimistic, I know, but it's really all a matter of perspective. JK Rowling might have made a few mistakes in writing her books, but imagine if she'd just thrown all that away!


Thinking on it, the only thing I really strive to have in a future life are parents who are relatively wise, spiritual, and caring. I was extremely lucky to have those this time around. Nothing in any next life is guaranteed and sometimes when I get those dark little thoughts and hopes that 'it might be better next time', or when I think on people or lives I'd 'rather be' I keep myself grounded by reminding myself that there's no way to know that it would be, and it's best to work with what I've got now. Starting over again would be terribly inefficient LOL
 
lol you sound very balanced and grounded, maybe having good parents and upbringing influenced, you, but i (get out the violins) had a nightmare childhood, parents who should never have had kids, and whilst bringing myself and younger sister up, i seemed to try soooo hard not to end up like them, and have made my own path of destruction,cover faceLOL
 
you sound very balanced and grounded, maybe having good parents and upbringing influenced, you, but i (get out the violins) had a nightmare childhood, parents who should never have had kids, and whilst bringing myself and younger sister up, i seemed to try soooo hard not to end up like them, and have made my own path of destruction
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Speaking from experience, sometimes the worst experiences are really useful in the long run. My story is not yours obviously, but I imitated some of the traits of my abusers, not knowing any other way to act ... and because I'd been taught that it was how "god" wanted us to treat people. Eventually I learned how to gradually shift those false beliefs, break them down, and make way for new choices. My kids are teens, and I'm always apologizing to them for how I handled things horribly wrong when they were younger and also talking with them about the changes in how I respond and whether it is helpful to them now.


Of course, it's important to recognize the beauty and good designed into you from before this life. You weren't designed to be abused, and that's why it's so difficult and painful even in small things. Once you can look at yourself objectively as "more than others see" you'll realize that nothing can un-make you. In the long run, even the worst experiences can be taken hold of (often in retrospect, since it's super-difficult in the moment of emotion) and used clarify your perspective and help you become even more yourself.


I wouldn't have anything to say to people in pain if I hadn't gone through the darkness. It was a bit like boot camp, in that it broke me down to nothing and destroyed a lot of my false beliefs. And yet, now those things can't touch me anymore because I learned how to protect myself and be myself in the face of them.


Also, I can sometimes ... sometimes reflect and share just enough of a similarity with someone to help them recognize a path of spiritual growth in themselves that they hadn't noticed before, even as I learn from their experience. It's really amazing to see it happen, and I wouldn't be able to do it without containing a story of pain.


We all have something unique to offer, and it's just a matter of finding the ones who need it most. Even before we notice ... it's always there.
 
I've got a bit of a theory that we tend to get the life next time that we wished for this time in many cases. But like the fairy tales, you need to be careful what you wish for I guess. :)


I've had a few future flashes. I wrote about them here in case it might be interesting...


The future
 
I asked my grandmother this question,


she thought about it for a few weeks,


next visit I asked her if she had thought about where she wanted to go next life,


she said yes with a big smile, we got interrupted a moment later, and


before I found out what it was,


the next week she had passed away,


I still wonder where she had wanted to go and who she had wanted to be,


but I do know that wherever she had wanted to go, she was happy about it.
 
This first half of my adult life this lifetime was full of success and happiness. I had it all.


The second half of my adult life this lifetime has been full of failure and struggles.


Next time I just want to not have to struggle so much. It would be great to grow up, get a good job that I love, fall in love with an amazing person and raise a family then die in my sleep in that lifetime.
 
yes it would be nice to have a next life that is all gain and no loss, im 26 and im exhausted! i honestly feel ive been living forever and i just want my next life to be more calming, im a nice person and i dont think i deserve all the bad in ths life :thumbsup:
 
Now while I was hiking the other day, this thought came to my mind on what about the next future life. Yes there are several things that I think I would like as for the next future life. Some things that I do think about as possibilities for that next life. But one thought occurrs to me when I think of this that will share ... that next life and the choices for that next life will take care of itself when that time comes. So I just then turn my focus to this life with also with just enjoying this present life.
 
Ugh -- I'd like to come back in a less humid/hot climate, please. So tired of this face-melting heat!


Aside from that, I don't know. This life, as well as my most recent life, has been mostly calm. Lives before these two have not been so calm at all. More struggle, much more violence, but I got to call more of the shots. This life, I go with the flow and things are relatively easy. The lack of struggle makes me restless. Like I've been taking a break from what I should be doing, and break time is over. But I would be foolish to wish for more struggle, right? Right now though, I don't feel that I'm doing much. So in my next life, I'd like to follow a less conventional path.
 
It's funny, but lately I'm been a little bit fearful of my next life. I feel as though there was something I came here to accomplish and I haven't done it. I know my life hasn't been too bad compared to what it could be, so I can't wish for it to get here sooner like I've sometimes done.


I think I would like a life where I am the only person I'm responsible for, and a calm peaceful life where I have enough of what I need to not have to worry about things so much. I guess that's pretty selfish of me.


I also hope in my next life that I continue to build on the spirituality I've acquired in this life.
 
I don't think it matters one way or another. A single lifetime is just a blink in the course of eternity, and there are so very very many things to experience.


Just a little something I'm trying to ground myself with, so I don't fixate quite so hard on the roles of the people in my life that I'm fairly sure I knew before.


This life is for this experience. The next one will be for that experience. And that's okay, and it doesn't need to be "good" and it doesn't need to "mean" anything. It just is now, and will be then.
 
I don't like thinking about a future life that much, perhaps partly because I've had a better life this time than most people do, and yet it's been very difficult, and I've had almost constant physical pain. The odds of getting a life as good as or better than this one next time don't seem likely but I'm so worn out by this one I don't see how I can do one that's harder. And other things - I don't want to be separated from the people I loved this time, yet I don't want to be involved with their issues and foibles over and over again, either. If that makes sense. :rolleyes: I guess I could wish for one with less work (I feel like it's all work work work) and less physical pain, but I imagine everyone wishes for that.
 
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