I've always been considered different, both in my family and in school and in my college, where I currently live. I've been told by my teachers at college that I have a very advanced sense of humor, and people my age usually don't get my jokes. But older mature people always get them straight away. I've always been socially awkward (mostly because of my autism), and was being bullied at school. I've never understood people in general, and I prefer listening to songs with a deeper meaning. I don't like most of the modern songs (rock is heaven to me!), but there are a few exceptions. But my parents always tell me that I act immature, and sometimes I might even act like I am WAY younger than I actually am, especially when I'm angry and sad. I've always preferred to talk to adults as a kid. I didn't like to talk with the other kids because... I don't really know. So I'm confused because I have some "old soul vibes" but I can still act like a child. What do you think about this?
My parents were told that I was an old soul when I was very young. I was very quiet and serious from birth. From the time I could look out a window I was mesmerized by all the forms of nature, and also had a super curiosity of things. And all through my years I've had people say I was an old soul. Even an astrology chart I had done a few years ago said I was an old soul, even that this life could be my last one.
I'd never given any of it any thought until the past ten years, after I'd made the journey back to before the beginning of this life, looking for the real me, and how I was perceived by people. I'd taken care of my mother five years as she lost her mind to Alzheimer's and in the first few months after I'd moved back to my home town, a flood of memories returned to me - memories I never knew had been gone. I hadn't realized the extent of the memories until quite a few years later because only one had came up in my mind. I'd discovered the rest when I began my self journey after my mother was beyond my ability to care for her.
It was on this journey that I became aware of my whole being; the underlying knowledge I had that was just under the surface that I couldn't access, but also feeling about various conditions in the world and how I felt about them as opposed to what a great majority of people feel, my relatives included. Examples being my feeling of connection to every human being on the planet; and every condition among them. Wars of any kind I find abhorrent and evil; I see the many actions of people in general as their experiencing what that particular life time was about, I understand it all is just the things I've already experienced, just as other are experience these thing now. A real conundrum.
I've mentioned on this forum before that I believe we incarnate to experience every action, activity, type of person, etc., that has ever been. So even with my life now, which has been unbelievably brutal in many aspects, and I've lived with many conditions many would find unbelievable of impossible, I remain calm. I did tell my physician a few years ago, in relation to my health issues, that I felt I was the Comic's petri dish with all the strange conditions I have that has never been diagnosed, along with three that have been, and any one of which could cause my death.
In spite of everything, I feel that while I might be an old soul - the earliest past life that has come to me, was in Pompeii during Vesuvius's eruption, dating back to the 600s or 800s. Between then and now, I could have lived many lives if, like my last incarnation was in just forty-four years. Old soul or not, I am aware there is still much for me to learn or experience, so I have no doubt that I'll return.
