Choices before birth

[Curtis]

Many times on this forum and elsewhere I have read of children expressing the fact that they made choices regarding their impending birth. They would choose their mother or choose the life they were to live. However, this choice does not appear to be completely independent.

I believe it was on this forum long ago that I read of a young boy saying that, "I wanted to be a girl, but they said this time I have to be a boy."

I wonder who "they" are? Do you have some light to shed on this, either your own or from children?

I also ponder this act of choosing from another direction. Clearly there are children born every day into situations where they have virtually no chance of surviving until their first birthday. It makes me wonder why a soul would purposely choose such a birth situation. I wonder this particularly in light of something I heard recently from a psychologist working with past life regressions.

He said that one thing appears to be almost universal shortly after death. The departing souls feel a deep sadness and compassion for those they left behind because they know the grief that the death has caused them.

I'm wondering, if we know we are going to cause immense grief at our passing as an infant, why we would choose to be born into the certainty of our death as a baby?

I know that many of the children that have been talked about here died traumatically while still very young. Did they know this was coming? It seems that after their rebirth they know about what happened previously and are quite thrilled about getting past their previous milestone. Just in the last few weeks I recall reading of one child exlaiming that he was now four years old and this time he doesn't have to die at that age.

So, who are the "they"? Why would we choose to be born into virtually certain childhood death?

I have opinions on both, but would really like to hear from any who remember.

Curtis
Phoenix, Arizona

 

[indigobutterfly]

Well, Curtis, I don't remember but I have an opinion. From my understanding, while we're on the Other Side, we have masters and our guides who help us decide what challenges will help us grow as souls. We choose what gender we'll be that can best help us fulfill our lessons. We also usually are more comfortable, or enjoy being a certain gender more than another. So, even though, say I want to be a woman again, my guides will highly influence me and help me see that I would best serve myself and others in the next incarnation as a man. So, my beliefs are that we have free will when it comes to who we are born to, etc, but we may grudgingly go into a body of a gender we don't feel as drawn to.


As for the lives of infants dying young, my beliefs are that we choose to come into a life where we know we'll only be here briefly for many reasons. Sometimes it's because our parents need to experience a loss for whatever reason. It could be the loss that changes who they are, or where they're going in life, or who they're with. Karmically, sometimes a baby's parents may need to experience a loss (maybe the baby lost his parent in a prior life). And, on a larger scale, the loss of an infant, say to abuse, will trigger maybe parents or other adults in the community to fight for the rights of infants, or for their healthcare, or against abuse. It seems like a wasted life when a young person dies, but nothing is in vain here on earth. There is always to be something learned from it. I don't know if I expressed myself well here, but I tried.


I don't know if you've read Michael Newton's books, 'Journey of Souls' and 'Destiny of Souls' but they were really good. Also, 'Courageous Souls' was awesome. It was about certain cases where it showed why, on a soul level, people chose different challenges, like AIDS, blindness, deafness, etc. I think Google Books has it on there as a preview, so you can read it online for free.

 

[tanguerra]

I'm wondering, if we know we are going to cause immense grief at our passing as an infant, why we would choose to be born into the certainty of our death as a baby?

Why do babies die? Why do accidents occur? Why is there illness? Why is there death? Why is there suffering? These are deep and troubling questions as old as mankind. Some people believe that suffering occurs for a purpose, to teach us, to temper us, to make us better people, to help us learn compassion and eventually bring us to enlightenment. I certainly hope there is a reason for it all, but I don't know for sure.


Perhaps it is all a lot more random than that, but it is nonetheless up to each individual to make the best of things by learning compassion and love and so on in spite of death, difficulty and disaster?


I personally don't think there are hard and fast 'rules' that apply to everyone on 'the other side' any more than there are rules that apply (or for that matter, are 100% enforceable) to everyone on 'this side'. I don't believe that there is a good, understandable reason why everything in the universe happens, ditto. I suspect things are a bit more chaotic than that.


While it would be nice and reassuring to do so, I don't believe that everything is 'perfect' in 'heaven', or that everything always goes according to plan and that everything is orderly and nothing ever gets messed up. I really wonder if there is a 'plan' as such, at all, in fact, much less one that would make sense to we mere mortals.


I also don't believe that those in charge 'up there' are always right and never make a mistake, any more than I believe of our earthly leaders are perfect (well, I hope they are a bit better in heaven at least!).


What do you think?

 

[jhskulk]

tanguerra, I would be inclined to agree with everything you said. I am not spiritual; I merely believe the evidence. So, some way, some how, reincarnation seems to actually occur. There, to me, isn't strong evidence to say it's a perfect and heavenly process... so I do not believe it is. That's all!

 

[Karoliina]

I believe there are guides on the other side, who help us choose the next body and circumstances that come with it. I believe they are more developed soul, not active on the physical plane anymore, so they have more insight, but I don't see them as infallible beings.


Even though I believe there is always a plan, life doesn't always go according to it. Accidents do happen. So sometimes I believe children and other people die because of an accident that was not pre-planned. It's not to say it wasn't at all considered and taken into account, though.


But I do believe sometimes we come on this planet knowing we will die soon. I believe souls are eager to have any kind of experiences and don't think about dying emotionally like we do here on the physical plane. I also believe we can feel sorry for those left behind, once we're dead, but I don't think it's something we necessarily think about beforehand. Having the experience is more important.


But like Indigobutterfly said, I also think that when a baby dies, they have come here mainly to give lessons to those around them. It's hard and awful, but again, even though it sounds horrible, I believe our souls are happy for the experience and the growth that comes with it. Even on the physical, many good things can come out of terrible tragedies.


So I believe a soul often knows when it's time for them to leave the physical beforehand but I think the plan is forgotten once we are born here. I don't think any of us - child or adult - can sit around thinking that this time around I'm supposed to die next year. That wouldn't be very useful, imo.


Of course, not everyone believes in guides, masters and pre-planning. But reading so many stories of them that children have spontaneously shared, I think it's hard to ignore the concepts completely.


Karoliina

 

[theycallmejoe]

I personally don't think there are hard and fast 'rules' that apply to everyone on 'the other side' any more than there are rules that apply (or for that matter, are 100% enforceable) to everyone on 'this side'. I don't believe that there is a good, understandable reason why everything in the universe happens, ditto. I suspect things are a bit more chaotic than that.

I agree with you tanguerra. One thing that has had me interested is that I have read a lot of accounts of "near death experiences" and in many of these accounts the higher force, god,devine has made comments such as "your not suppose to be here yet" or "you still have things left to do" which would point towards mistakes being made.


I still believe there is a plan but like all plans they can go astray.

 

[stardis]

I am sure that we have a life plan but that it can change at certain junctures during our life.


I "saw" an angel-like being once when I was faced with a career choice. The angel held in its outstretched hands two globes that showed my future. The right hand held the future that I was about to choose and I could see with incredible detail what my life was going to be, it was like watching a movie and I knew without doubt that I would be successful but very unhappy. The angel said "You can have this if you want it or you can have this (looking at the left hand)." The left hand held a globe that was dark and cloudy and the future was unknown to me. I understood that the unknown future was the path that I should take and that is what I did.


One of the unknown events was the death of a niece's infant son. That was very difficult for me; although, my stoicism probably hid my feelings from most people. I would not have chosen the unknown future if I had known that was one of life's "events" (I don't know to express it)-- I would not have been as close to my family and wouldn't have been so deeply affected by it. My wife and I never had any children. I sincerely believe that child's premature death had a profound affect on all of us standing at the graveside on a bitterly cold January day. I do believe that our lives have purpose, no matter how brief, but it is hard to understand.


-stardis

 

[indigobutterfly]

wow, Stardis. That's really neat. One of the concepts that I believe, yet don't fully understand, is that time is not real. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience right now. So, the past, future, and present are all playing out at the same time, and what we do in the present affects what kind of future life (karma/dharma) we'll have. It's all a huge concept that is hard to wrap the brain around. Anyway, your experience with the angel sounds neat. I'm sorry about your niece's baby. Losing a baby is so sad! I'm so sorry!