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An American life?

helz_belz

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Warning - Super-long post!

I’ve decided to share what comes up for me regarding a life I think I may have lived in America post-WW2. This is a life I never really expected to uncover, and it wasn’t till after I uncovered it that I put a lot of pieces together. I will admit though that a week or so before I did the self-regression that uncovered this life I had been pondering some of these ‘indications’ of a recent American PL, so until something comes up that I can validate, I’m still dubious about a lot of this as it could still be imagination. That’s why I’m writing this down in a way; maybe I’m hoping that such a recent PL might be traceable.

All of this life, since I was a little girl, I’ve been fascinated by space, stars and the space race, the amazing achievements of 1960s America. I would read about space and the Apollo missions. I really liked 1960s instrumental music, ‘Sputnik’ really sticks out for me, as does Classical Gas. It always seemed so optimistic, the amazing potential humans had to achieve things! I also have very clear memories from this life, listening to Billy Joel songs with my mum as we did the spring cleaning, his songs always spoke to me deeply. On the flip side though, I used to have a terrible fear of radiation and nuclear war. I remember a music lesson back at school where we listened to Sting’s ‘Do the Russians Love Their Children Too?’ it scared the bejeezus out of me, I could practically see the A-bomb going off underneath the classroom floor and the memory of the song kept me awake for many, many nights (although I realise this song was released just a few months before my current life birth, and any radiation fear could be related to the Chernobyl disaster which happened when I was around 1 in this life). Strangely, I’ve never been that interested in the Cold War era UK, which is strange considering I’m an English lass through and through, I just have no interest in post-war UK. Although saying that, when I was around 8-13 I was obsessed with old 1950s-60s BBC radio comedies, The Navy Lark, Hancock’s Half Hour that kind of thing, just a random obsession that came and then went again.

At the beginning of the year I had a dream about Mt. Rushmore and the surrounding geography that actually checked out – I wrote about it. This opened up the possibility for a life post-1920s with an American aspect.

A few months ago, after I’d been practicing with self-regressions on YouTube and CDs (mostly to learn more about a PL I believe I may have had during the Great War) I came across a YouTube video for a self-regression to your most recent PL. This sounded interesting. I’m sure my Great War life didn’t end till at least the run-up to WW2, but I wasn’t born this time till 1985, which left a quite sizable gap. I’d read some of the papers written by Dr. Ian Stevenson, which seemed to indicate that most ‘souls’ reincarnate around 18 months after death, so a 40-50 year gap seemed a bit too much (I should probably say that I don’t yet hold onto the ‘life planning’ viewpoint of reincarnation, I’m more of a ‘it just happens in a semi-random manner, probably with a few natural laws thrown in to keep it all together’ way of thinking).

Anyway, in the regression I learnt my name was Anna, an American. I can’t remember where I lived, but it had ‘New’ in the name, like New England or New Jersey. I was outside a typical big American house, detached, blue with white detailing around the windows and door, and a white porch up a few steps. The lawn down to the road was large with a path up from the pavement. There were other large houses along and across the road. So far, so generic. The regression took me forward, and I was somewhere else, maybe further south, I’d left home and was apparently doing menial work to pay for my new life. I felt annoyed at my family for being so ‘stuck’ and comfy in their life, I wanted to travel and I had (strangely, in my current life, all I want is to stop moving around and settle down in one place). Forward again to the last day of that life. I was back at the blue and white house, looking up at the door. There didn’t seem to be anyone home, and I was very annoyed, even angry. I walked away from the house, looked back up and got in a car (in this life, I don’t drive). I drive away, still angry and annoyed. At the end of the road I turn right, and drive on, still not paying attention to anything (the journey is pretty much a blur). It at this point my ‘awareness’ moves outside of myself (to a little above and behind) and see the car get hit by a train from the left on the driver’s side. Its all so sudden, I think I only had half a second to register that I was being hit.

I still have no memory of what had annoyed me so much on that last morning in that life, but it does explain why I was always so terrified of trains as a child. Even now, when I’m waiting for my commuter train, I flinch when the fast goes through on the opposite platform, I hate it.

Since that self-regression a few more hints from the life of Anna have come through. Images of dusty highways and a sense of freedom, or at least an idea of what freedom should be. A feeling that my father might have been a GI in WW2, a tallish man with straight, mousey hair and glasses, my mother possibly an English lady, one of the ‘GI brides’, although I have no recollection of her at present.
 
I’ll admit, I haven’t been giving the life of Anna as much attention as maybe I should; as my most recent life she probably has a bigger influence on my current life than I give her credit for. Instead I’ve been focussing a lot on my Great War life, no doubt driven on by the approaching centenary of the conflict. But the other night I had a dream. In it I met up with an old friend from this life. Lets call him RG. I found he was being interviewed in a café I was eating at so decided to go up and say hi. I haven’t seen RG for many years, our lives have gone our separate ways, but we still email each other very occasionally, so in my dream it was nice to think I was going to see him again. But when I met him, he didn’t look like him. He didn’t even sound like him (in his current life he has a strong Yorkshire accent which was gone in the dream). Even so, I ‘knew’ it was him, we caught up and went to a National Park and up a hill. From the top of the hill we could see for miles, we pointed out all that we could see – Disneyland, New York, another city I can’t remember, and right in front of us, looming up out of the horizon – Mount Rushmore. I got excited and started telling him all about the dream I had and the way what I had dreamt and all the bits of geography that had matched up, but he just smiled and gave me a look as if to say ‘I’ve heard this before, but I’ll humour you’. It was a very nice, comforting smile.


On waking I felt very sad. I missed my friend and couldn’t stop thinking of the dream all day. It wasn’t until later that morning that I realised that in the dream, my friend had looked very similar to the image I had of Anna’s father, only older. Does this mean that RG was Anna’s father? It would explain a few things if he was. He was always quite protective of me in this life, especially when I’d been slighted by another man. It would seem a very fatherly thing to do. Of course I have nothing to back this up except the dream, but it’s the first instance I’ve had of recognising a soul in another body. I’m also still dealing with the emotion - I miss RG as a friend and maybe as a father too, it’s very hard and I’m not quite sure what to do about it...
 
If you still have RG's email address, can't you drop him a line and tell him you've been thinking about him a lot lately? Maybe tell him about the dream, and casually mention past lives? You never know, he might be feeling the same thing as you are, because it certainly looks like you've shared past lives together. Thanks for sharing your experience :)
 
Helz, I think you have to trust your instincts on this. I think RG was probably your father in the "Anna" life. Maybe he took you to the places that you were seeing, like Disneyland, in that life. Anna and I would have been age contemporaries, so if I can answer anything about the U.S. in the 50's, 60's, and 70's, just ask. The kind of house you are describing isn't commonly built on the West Coast. We use stucco. The South has a preference for brick. The house you are describing sounds East Coast, but of course, there are exceptions. Do you have any sense of the surrounding landscape? I lived in New Jersey in the 70's, and I think you might have been there, but it could be New Canaan, or New Bedford, or even New York state, which is quite beautiful and rural. Were the houses close together, or on large lots, with a lot of room between? If there was "room", you were probably affluent. There are affluent suburbs in the Mid-West that have the kind of houses you describe. Maybe you can narrow down a geographic area. Keep us posted. You made a lot of progress!
 
Stucco has only been in use in California since about 1930 or a little later. But Briar is right, I get the feeling it could be New England area or New York. What was the weather or climate like? Do you remember seeing grass or lawns? Different areas have different kinds of grass.
 
Thank you for the replies everyone, it really means a lot :)


ChrisR: Yes, I still have his email address. Have been meaning to get back in contact for a while, maybe this is the Universe giving me a helpful shove? ;) I'll see what I can write to him, might mention the dream but not sure how much he would appreciate PL talk, he's very much a down-to-earth, no nonsense Yorkshireman in this life :laugh:


BriarRose: I didn't realise different areas had different types of housing, thats so interesting. I want to say the house was 'clapboard' but I'm not really sure what that means :confused: The house looked a bit like this:


american-herald-houseBg.jpg



The lawn was quite large and there were big gaps between the houses. I think there was a tree to the left as you looked towards the house, it cast that side of the house in a lot of shade (as I wrote that I got the thought in my head 'and Mum didn't like it'. Hmmm.....). I still want to say New England, it would be funny if it was New Bedford, in this life I actually live near the original Bedford! :laugh: I had the same thought about the places we pointed out in the dream, it would make sense if they were places that he took me to in that life. Wouldn't it be strange if we found out we lived near each other in the 70s BriarRose? Thank you for the offer of help with the era, its odd to think that if that train hadn't hit me I would be about the same age as my Mum is now :rolleyes:


Argonne: They were lawns like we get in the UK, only bigger! From what I recall the sun was shining, it might have been summer. I'm not sure about the surrounding geography, but it might have had some big hills, maybe forests. I keep seeing an image of a steep hill, almost a small mountain, covered in dark trees, but I don't know if that is near the house or somewhere else


I will definately keep you all posted on anything else that comes up from this life. Thank you everyone :)
 
helz_belz said:
I'll see what I can write to him, might mention the dream but not sure how much he would appreciate PL talk, he's very much a down-to-earth, no nonsense Yorkshireman in this life :laugh:
All you have to do is mention that 'someone', a friend if you like, remarked that you must have shared a past life together. You can even make a bit of a joke of it and see how he reacts. He'll either laugh it off, or he may surprise you. A lot of people believe in reincarnation, but many of them keep the belief to themselves because they fear ridicule from others.
 
Great idea Chris, thank you. I'll try something along those lines and see how it goes :)
 
That looks like quite a "well-to-do" American house. Sometimes, people will build replicas of Cape Cod clapboard houses in other areas, but it looks East Coast, especially if there was space between the houses. We have different types of grass for different climates, as Argonne said, i.e. fescue, bluegrass, etc. That would be so cool if we had known each other! I'm trying to remember "Annas". The variety of tree would even help us "place" you. Actually, that would help a lot. We grow different kinds in different climates! You know, Helz, you might be on to something with New Bedford. I live on a street with the same name as one I lived on right after the Civil War.
 
Wow Helz! That is a wonderful narrative of your impressions. You have so much that is clearly defined to investigate. The house seems to predate the "levitowns" or mass produced, postwar, postage stamp developments with the size of the yard you describe. It is possible to find an identity of who you were through the location of your accident and old newspaper archives, so focus in that area might be surprisingly productive.
 
BriarRose said:
You know, Helz, you might be on to something with New Bedford. I live on a street with the same name as one I lived on right after the Civil War.
So then see what you can find out about New Bedford, Mass.
 
helz_belz said:
...On waking I felt very sad. I missed my friend and couldn’t stop thinking of the dream all day. It wasn’t until later that morning that I realised that in the dream, my friend had looked very similar to the image I had of Anna’s father, only older. Does this mean that RG was Anna’s father? It would explain a few things if he was. He was always quite protective of me in this life, especially when I’d been slighted by another man. It would seem a very fatherly thing to do. Of course I have nothing to back this up except the dream, but it’s the first instance I’ve had of recognising a soul in another body. I’m also still dealing with the emotion - I miss RG as a friend and maybe as a father too, it’s very hard and I’m not quite sure what to do about it...
Strong emotional reaction is the only proof I trust and the only validation I ever feel I need. I've no doubt that your intuition about this is correct.
 
Thank you for the positive responses everyone. This has been a strange and emotional time for me since that dream, it helps that everyone has been so kind and encouraging. I have sent my friend an email, I mentioned the dream but nothing PL. Knowing him it could be a quite a wait for a reply.


Hopefully I will get chance to use a self-regression soon to try and access a little more from this life. I'm still not skilled enough to access memories through unguided meditation yet. If anything else comes up though I will be sure to post it here, I would really like to be able to validate something for this life, just to be sure :laugh:
 
A lot of things have gone belly up at work recently (choices were made, people were angered), and its got me thinking about the continuity of lives. I had thought that as Anna I was seeking freedom and the open road, an escape from the boring life of my family. But, after looking at my current life, the life of Anna and my life during the Great War a pattern has emerged, that of running away from responsibility. In the Great War something terrible happened, I dont yet remember what, but I (rightly or wrongly) blamed myself for it for the rest of that life (this may have something to do with recent flashes I've had of running through the night-dark countryside of northern France, pistol drawn, alone and terrified). As Anna I was always travelling, but I realise now it wasnt to find freedom (although thats what I thought, or told myself, then) but to avoid taking responsibility for anything. Running away with hippies was the perfect way to a life free from responsibility. This explains my current-life desire to settle down in one place, after so much travelling last time. But, I never got over that fear of responsibility, and now with all the trials and tribulations of the last few weeks that fear has been stretched to breaking point. I nearly ran like Anna would have, but I didnt. Piecing all this together came at the right time. Doesnt make it any easier though
 
I sometimes have the very human impulse to run away, instead of dealing with things, helz. I used to dream about moving to San Diego, and "living under the name of Sanders", like Winnie the Pooh in the Hundred Acre Wood. Then I realized that anyone who really knew me would figure out what name I would use, and be able to find me! ;) I'm sorry for your stress, but proud that you figured it out, and stayed to be responsible. Maybe the chain of Karma was broken because you controlled your impulse, and did things differently. There would be no point to past life memories, if we didn't use them to change our patterns.
 
Thanks Briar, still working on changing those patterns, but I'm (almost!) getting the hang of it! Have made a few changes to the way I work, so maybe the 'run' instinct will be a little less now. Putting the pieces together has made a change, sometimes it really does help to see the bigger picture.


Whilst I'm here, I got another little snippet of my American life the other night. Often my self-regressions seem to involve both my Great War and American life, they seem to be so closely connected. Anyway, this time, after another glimpse of loading horses at the docks, I found myself at the top of a cliff made of golden/yellow rocks, with scrubby grass. The image wasn't very clear, but it looked a bit like the top of the Grand Canyon. I was then filled with anger, and could remember shouting blue-murder at somebody. I couldn't see anyone, so I think two memories had got a little muddled (maybe a memory of being at the Canyon and remembering something that had happened earlier in that life?). The content of the tirade wasn't clear, but I was angry at someone and could feel the anger during my regression. Not sure what it means yet, but it does seem that my American life possibly had more of a temper than I do now!
 
Your post made me wonder if all souls have many of the same characteristics, and what marks us off as individuals is whether or not we express them. Do you think something about that life made you believe that expressing anger is dangerous? Maybe, your soul just found the expression of intense anger to be counterproductive ?
 
Well, I’ve been thinking about this all day and this is what I’ve come up with:


From the life of Anna, two of the memories involve anger in some form. Possibly that anger was some kind of carry-over or outward expression of the guilt and resentment felt in the life prior to it. Maybe her genetics made her more prone to anger rather than another form of emotional expression? I don’t think it was a conscious memory from that other life that made Anna angry, but it must have affected her in a deep way subconsciously. Unfortunately, anger was what got her killed – that day she was hit by the train she was fuming about something and wasn’t paying attention at the level crossing. Would possibly explain why I don’t do anger now, at least not externally. I can (and will!) fume like the rest, but not shouting or anything like that! I sometimes feel on the verge of shouting, but very rarely manage it, its like something (probably my shyness) stops me. So shouting has never really been my thing, couldn’t even shout in the school play, and that was only pretend :rolleyes: Its odd, but I did think I didn’t shout in this life because as a sergeant in the war I would probably have done my fair share of bellowing, but that Anna still had the capacity to shout has made me doubt that somewhat now.


Of course, maybe I’m just remembering/interpreting my PLs as a bunch of relatively shouty people because I’m so quiet this time round! :laugh:
 
Since expressing anger got you killed, it makes perfect sense that you would avoid it now. I wonder if souls tend to swing too far in reaction to past life events? That may be part of the reason achieving "balance" in our lives is so difficult.
 
Anna’s life has been at the forefront again lately; have been feeling a general sense of nostalgia for the 1960s (probably not helped by listening to too much Simon and Garfunkel at work:rolleyes:). Yesterday I woke up with the words ‘Shakespeare, New York, late 1960s (1969?)’ in my head. I usually take note of when I wake up with words like this; they usually mean something, even if it takes a while to figure out. I found an academic paper that talked about the New York Shakespeare Festival in 1969, but come on, this is Shakespeare, his works must be in production all the time, especially somewhere as big as New York! But still, it felt a bit like a small (if tenuous) validation. Get the feeling this was another place Anna went with her father, always had the feeling that he was a pretty cultured guy in that life, and this was something he was passionate about sharing with his daughter, and she loved him for that. Also now get the distinct feeling that her relationship with her mother was more strained, not as close as the relationship she had with her father, although I’m not yet sure why.


This song came up on a youtube mix of 1960s music I was listening to yesterday and it immediately jumped out at me, made me stop in my tracks:


it has really racked up the feelings of nostalgia, and thrown in a massive dose of sadness for good measure. I remember hearing this song years ago in my current life and always knew it had some deeper meaning for me, although I’m still not sure what even now. I feel like it’s haunting me somehow…
 
Oh, yes. That was a big, big song in the late sixties. In 1969 that was playing on all of the rock radio stations.
 
Joseph Papp started producing "Shakespeare in the Park" in NYC in the 50's. It was (and is) a really big deal, and a beloved tradition. If Anna's Dad was taking her, she must have been really excited. I remember that we talked about where she lived. It was probably a place that made NYC easily accessible by train. People take the train into "the city". It's interesting that you've been listening to Simon and Garfunkel. So have I! I watched the second episode of SNL ever filmed on Netflix. Simon was the host, and Garfunkel made a reunion appearance with him. It was really moving, and I was struck by the beauty of the lyrics, and the harmony of the vocals. Anna was probably a fan.
 
You're right, I get the feeling it was a special thing for them to be travelling to New York, most likely to attend the Shakespeare Festival. Although I haven't had chance to meditate properly on it yet, the feelings are of anticipation, excitement and joy :) Have to admit though, not much of a fan of The Bard in my current life to be honest ;) As much as I know her father in his new incarnation is getting on well, its made me miss our old life again and the affection they shared - oh the bittersweet touch of PL memories!


Will take a look at some maps of the New York area, see if anywhere jumps out at me.


Yes, definitely get the feeling Anna was a Simon and Garfunkel fan, its great to know you've been listening to them as well Briar :D , Also, the Mammas and the Pappas, their music has always been special to me. Their music recently gave me a flash of a music store with all the records in their racks and bright swirly posters on the walls, think she was buying one of their albums, but that might just be my imagination :laugh:
 
The Mamas and Papas song that is the most evocative for me in this life, is "California Dreaming". Play it, and see if your inner "Anna" reacts!
 
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