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Abortion and what to do now?

MichelleFlies

MichelleFlies

New Member
Hello all,
I am new to the reincarnation forum and am looking for some advice, feedback upon matters of reincarnation. I have two wonderful children that have been the light of my life. I experienced EXTREME postpartum depression with my last birth (about three years ago). After that I swore I would never go through that again. Recently (four months) my husband and I found ourselves unexpectedly pregnant. I terminated the pregnancy a day later due to my fear of being able to go through with it again also due to my husband recently quitting his job and losing our insurance. I was four weeks. I am not looking for any sort of judgement I have felt massive amounts of grief and sadness. Prior to the termination I didn't look into reincarnation or anything to do with the spirit. But when I started reading more and more about how souls choose their parents ETC., the guilt began to pile on. My husband is extremely reluctant to try again but I can't help but think that I need to fulfill another pregnancy to "make it right". Many people that I have talked to about this don't look into reincarnation and what not so its hard to have them understand my inner turmoil. The church is of no support because they like to condemn women and many don't believe in reincarnation. Just looking for any answers or support from those that have been through it or may have some wisdom.. Thank you all in advance.
 
Welcome MichelleFlies, When you get my age, you get enough experiences that you assume that you can contribute something - so here goes.

My sister was born just prior to the depression here in the US, six years later, in the depths of the depression, Mom became pregnant again and the baby boy was aborted, three years later I was born. Mom had the same guilt as you expressed even after having me. I can not say if it helped her by having me or not as I never asked her. I have often wondered if I was the personality that was to have had that first body.

Incidentally, there are many reports from "personalities" that were aborted, that there are no "hard feelings" about it, so you don't need to feel guilty of anything.

IMHO, I think that it would be better to have a child because you wanted it rather than to "make it right".
 
Ken,
Absolutely I would not "just" have a child to make it right. I understand that honest opinion and thank you for it. I just feel as if there is something missing in my life now. I don't understand because before the termination I never had experienced this void feeling. I really like the way you put it as a personality and that is something that really does resonate with me. It was not a "baby" spirit but an old personality looking for means to reincarnate. It doesn't make the pain go away but it helps to clarify in my mind what was really going on in a deeper sense. I have heard of women going through terminations to be granted with the same spirit as before, just want to make sure that I am making the decision to have another child for the right reasons as you spoke of earlier. Thank you for your input.

My mother has also had a termination in her early twenties and had my brother and myself when she was with my father ten years later. She spoke of the healing she received once my brother was born. She has never spoke to anybody about her experience and I believe there was a profound amount of healing when she was finally able to confide in me after I went through my experience.
 
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I'm sure that you will make the "right" choice. Since I do not recall a life as a mother, I think that comments from a female would be better than mine at this point. I'm glad that you found that something that I said was helpful.
 
MichelleFlies said:
Hello all,
I am new to the reincarnation forum and am looking for some advice, feedback upon matters of reincarnation.
... I can't help but think that I need to fulfill another pregnancy to "make it right"...
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  1. Only you can know what is right for you and your family. Don't be pushed into doing what others want or say! The only guidance you could trust is when you get it first hand from your higher self or your soul's guide, but not through a medium or such. Mediums, dreams, feelings, etc. have a high rate of error.
  2. In matters of reincarnation, based on what I read, learned from my alternate states of awareness experiences, and currently believe:
    1. A soul joins a fetus not earlier than 4 months into pregnancy (under hypnotic trance I found that to be correct for me)
    2. In the overwhelming majority of cases, "up there" it is known beforehand if a pregnancy won't result in a viable human being, be it abortion, miscarriage, even most cases of infant death. In such cases no soul ever joins the fetus, including most cases of infant deaths.
    3. In the tragic cases when a child dies, their soul knew it before incarnation, but decided to go through it, just to help their parents to go through an experience necessary for their growth in their current lives. It is done from love, and it is considered a specially good deed for that soul.
May the best inspiration come to you!
 
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I have been trying to understand what is best for my family. Thank you. I have been looking for some sort of solace on the abortion issue and I was hoping to hear some insights. Thank you two for both sharing what you have learned and experienced personally. I love the "up there" piece. I have been trying to make it through these days but anxiety is overwhelming. You two have helped give me a peace of mind, even for a short second. Thank you again.
 
MichelleFlies, Each of us can only do what seems right at the time. To second-guess ourselves or others is simply a way to bring discomfort after recognizing a possible alternative at a later date. It is said that there are no "Right" or "Wrongs", just learning situations. I think that you have Learned enough from this experience to quit punishing yourself with your thoughts.

Some things are hard to forget, particularly the ones that you are not proud of, but there comes a time to forgive yourself and accept what you learn from the experience. I really like something Mark Twain said -
“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”

Be in Peace
 
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KenJ,
Absolutely. Trusting in the process of life is rather difficult in a state of sadness. I am attempting to pull back from the immediate emotions and understand the bigger picture, as well as understudying that this is just a situation to learn from. I have read past postings on subjects surrounding child birth, abortion.. etc and have found that many of these women have found the "bigger picture" down the road. Hoping for peace and resolution as well as calmness that can get me to the future to see that picture.
Forgiving oneself.. I will work on that. :)
Thank you
 
Hi Michelleflies,
I have a complimentary opinion about the subject. A pregnancy should be a mutual decision between the soul of a child and its future mother. It's something big and huge to be born through the body of somebody else and if it's not the right moment, the child should respect that. I think it's not fair that a woman should carry the feeling of guilt over this decision.
If it's not the right moment for whatever reason, it's a good decision not to let a child be born under wrong circumstances. The best for both of them.
I've made this decision in my life. I don't feel guilty, only a slight nostalgia.
 
Firefly,
Thank you for your response. I don't understand the guilt that I feel. Maybe the loudness of the world and their extreme opinions have had an effect upon me. Especially.... Your baby is just waiting in heaven for you now. I don't understand that and how that is supposed to "comfort" anybody. Religion is a rather difficult area for me anyways and it seems as if this experience has rehashed many unresolved conflicts I have within myself and religious beliefs. This has been a big learning experience. I just want life to resemble some sort of normalcy again. Wistful for a calmer self.
 
MichelleFlies said:
Especially.... Your baby is just waiting in heaven for you now. I don't understand that and how that is supposed to "comfort" anybody.
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Those are the crass statements that are too common from uppity religious folk that drive me crazy - ignore them, there is no understanding there. If the soul is awaiting to be born into your family, it will in some way if it does not find another family IMO. Each of us have had opportunities that we have chosen not to pursue for one reason or another, I'm sorry that this has been so difficult for you.

As for your statement about it being a "...big learning experience", I want to remind you of something that Mark Twain said and be careful about your learning.
 
Ken,
That quote has begun to resonate further since my initial posting and your response. My personality is naturally very skeptical and always questioning, so I have a BIG issue with always trying to learn from something, connect dots etc instead of just letting life flow.
 
I just now saw that I had posted that quotation twice in this discussion - sorry, I did not intend to be repetitive, I forgot about the previous entry. I guess that I felt strongly that you should consider that :rolleyes: I admire Samual Clemens and like most of his quotations.
 
The repetition was absolutely necessary. I didn't understand the original posting with the quote in the same way that it resonated with me now. Thank you for your insight. Anxiety is my downfall and this has heightened that. Quotes like this help to ground me.
 
Hello MichelleFlies.

I too believe that u don't make a right to fix a (what u think) is a wrong. My belief is that sometimes, the being itself wasn't truly ready anyway. That aside, having been traumatized as u were before, how could you give this child the true love that it deserved? I believe what you did was very brave, but you had to preserve yourself for the children u already have as well as your husband and most importantly - yourself!
 
Maybe I can share another POV. I have a life-between-life memory about being aborted (not the moment itself). This is the memory:

I am in the spirit realm, and there is someone with me, behind me, I feel this person was (once?) my sister. Not my present life sister, but someone whom I felt I should call my sister. We were looking down on a scene on earth. There was a man and a woman sitting in their yard, and I had the feeling it was somewhere in Africa. They had moved from their homeland some years ago, but now it was a troublesome time in this African country. It was not safe anymore for them. All this information I instantly received, I 'knew' it when the memory started. The woman had just found out that she was pregnant. In the scene I saw she was discussing an abortion with her husband, and they decided to go through with it, because times were so tough and they saw no immediate opportunity to return home, and they decided a pregnancy would only add to their troubles and anxiety.

So this was the scene I watched. And I was the soul that had chosen a life with them as my parents, in the circumstances that they were living. Now they decided to not let me share their life in those troublesome times. The only thing I felt was a little disappointment, because I had chosen a life there, with them, for certain lifelessons. I don't know what lesson(s).

The 'sister' who was with me in the spirit world, encouraged me (she transferred to me the thoughts 'better luck next time', that is the best I can explain it.) not to wait too long to 'choose' another mother (or parents) that would enable me to complete another lesson or purpose, because there are still so many things a soul needs to learn and fulfill on earth.

I have a feeling this happened shortly before my present life, and I don't know if I was ever with that mother (or family) before.

I hope this helps you somewhat, and at least can give you an idea of how a (my) soul experienced the decision of an abortion.

Love and Light,

Eevee
 
Thank you Eevee for your point of view. I hope that this soul would understand. I think about it far more than I'd like.

My husband and I have decided to not follow through with any more attempts at pregnancy and this has left me feeling very sad and like I cannot possibly bring this soul through. I hope that I can find peace and resolution through understanding how this fits into the bigger picture.
 
MichelleFlies said:
Hello all,
I am new to the reincarnation forum and am looking for some advice, feedback upon matters of reincarnation. I have two wonderful children that have been the light of my life. I experienced EXTREME postpartum depression with my last birth (about three years ago). After that I swore I would never go through that again. Recently (four months) my husband and I found ourselves unexpectedly pregnant. I terminated the pregnancy a day later due to my fear of being able to go through with it again also due to my husband recently quitting his job and losing our insurance. I was four weeks. I am not looking for any sort of judgement I have felt massive amounts of grief and sadness. Prior to the termination I didn't look into reincarnation or anything to do with the spirit. But when I started reading more and more about how souls choose their parents ETC., the guilt began to pile on. My husband is extremely reluctant to try again but I can't help but think that I need to fulfill another pregnancy to "make it right". Many people that I have talked to about this don't look into reincarnation and what not so its hard to have them understand my inner turmoil. The church is of no support because they like to condemn women and many don't believe in reincarnation. Just looking for any answers or support from those that have been through it or may have some wisdom.. Thank you all in advance.
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Hi Michelle,
It has been a while since your question was posted but I would like to respond. I had an abortion many years ago when I was young and scared and then moved on with my life. I went on to experience my biological clock ticking and eventually became a mom to 2 kids. Several years ago I began sponsoring a child through Children International, it just seemed like something I was supposed to do. Recently I have been working with people from his country (the Philippines) and I have been preparing to visit. Through a series of coincidences I now know he is the reincarnation of the baby I aborted. He has returned to me because we still have some karma/things to work out. I was in shock to discover this and suddenly feel all of these emotions -the best word for them is primal. I’m a mom now but at the time of my abortion I felt in no way maternal. Now a part of me wishes that I had given birth to him even though the circumstances were difficult at the time. My point is that all of your emotions are valid and there may be no immediate cause for them that you can see. It’s important to meditate and keep a journal about this stuff so you can look into your heart and know how you really feel about the decision to have or not to have another baby. Your depression may have been past life trauma needing to be released, as you journal you may remember parts of past lives that are affecting this one. If you stay in touch with your process and trust it you will find answers, and you can also communicate with the spirit of the baby, who will return if he or she needs to when the time is right. Get help from a counselor who is open to spiritual growth if you need. Hope that helps.
 
Thanks for your post Sharin, and welcome to the forum. That was brave of you to move on in the directions that you have taken with your life, and the feelings of being re-united must be wonderful.
 
KenJ said:
Thanks for your post Sharin, and welcome to the forum. That was brave of you to move on in the directions that you have taken with your life, and the feelings of being re-united must be wonderful.
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Thank you. I am scheduled to visit in June, excited to see how it goes.
 
MichelleFlies said:
I hope that I can find peace and resolution through understanding how this fits into the bigger picture.
Click to expand...

Dear Michelle,

About the bigger picture, I might recommend for possible reading Meher Baba's valuable Discourses, including the sequence regarding reincarnation (seven discourses [essays], in Volume 3 of a 3-volume set), all online here:

http://www.discoursesbymeherbaba.org/v3-10.php

He gives this overview for instance (at the end of the 7th discourse on reincarnation):

<< The life of the reincarnating individual has many events and phases. The wheel of life makes its ceaseless rounds, lifting the individual to the heights or bringing him down from high positions. It thus contributes to the enrichment of his experience. Ideals left unattained in one life are pursued further in the next life; things left undone are finished; the edges left by incomplete endeavour are rounded up; wrongs are eventually set right. The accounts of give and take between persons receive renewed adjustment by the repayment of Karmic debts and the recovery of Karmic dues. At last, out of the ripeness of experience and through the dissolution of the ego-mind, the soul enters into the sole unity of Divine Life. In this Divine Life there is neither the binding of giving nor the binding of taking, because the soul has completely transcended the consciousness of separateness or duality.

The drama of the continued life of the individual soul has many acts. From the viewpoint of the worldly existence of the soul, a curtain may be said to be drawn over its life after the closing of each act. But no act yields its real significance if it is regarded as complete in itself. It has to be viewed from its wider context as being a link between the acts already performed and the acts still to come. Its meaning is entwined with the theme of the whole drama of which it is a part. The end of the act is not the end of the progressive theme. The actors disappear from the stage of earth only to reappear again in new capacities and new contexts.

The actors are so engrossed in their respective roles that they treat them as being the be-all and end-all of all existence. For the major part of their continued life (running into innumerable incarnations), they are unconscious of the closely guarded truth that the Author of the drama, in His imaginative production, Himself became all the actors and played the game of hide and seek in order to come into full and conscious possession of His own creative infinity. Infinity has to go through the illusion of finitehood to know Itself as Infinity, and the Author has to go through the phases of the actors to know Himself as the Author of the greatest detective story, worked out through the cycles of creation. >>

Best,
d.i.
 
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