spirit guides

First post here on the forum, hope I get some feedback or discussion on this, as it's perplexed me for a while. Apologies for grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. I've read about a dozen books now on past lives and reincarnation. I had heard the concept of pre-birth planning, but...

So I already tried posting here and if this get deleted too I just give up. In summary, I'm not happy with the life my soul chose, I honestly wonder why I picked it, and if it was because it was the least bad of the batch or I really rejected my dream life for this. I hate the place I was born...