@Sojourner2015
Im sorry to hear about yr child condition, i do believe, the reason would b same as how mine suffered from a rare sickness with final life termination.
My 2nd kid gets also a kind of health challenge that I must face with great patient & extra love.
I do believe it's the way how we should learn as parents & as human. Our past lives might be lack of these aspects that we must balance it & learn thru this experience.
If we see no matter what the issues our children have, behind is for us to have more compassion & learn more PATIENT & endurance to face our challenges of life. I wish I could do more for my kids, but except giving in to above their destiny of our children & try our best as parents & be better human & pray for their best. I see no other way.
Most important, we must keep ourselves to b positive in thought, in speech to the child & in our doings to create more comfortable & relaxing atmosphere in our daily life so we all forget this burden & enjoy the life more every second with them, in sense of not giving yourself too hard times & pressure.
All the best to u n family
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My nephew has autism, they nvr dreamt to have a blond hair & blue eyes child as both of them r chinese
Some of his “quirks” are:
• violent opposition to having his hair cut (common with Autistic children)
• insomnia (he didn’t sleep a full night until he was four)
• toileting issues (he was in diapers until he was five)
• only liked certain food—he would eat Polish Sausage all day if I let him
• detested oral medicine and any kind of invasive procedure like nail clipping or ear cleaning
• he would insist on watching movie credits until the very end
• his first and only word for the first two years of life was “nine” which he overheard a woman say in the store (she was reading off the price of something)
• he will only wear cotton clothing
he inspects his bread (no matter what kind) before eating it.
I dont see the symptoms above as signs of autism. It's better to try to think more in positive sides, before u think the worst condition of your child. They might b young but they can feel all these signals instinctly & u make your child believe he is in that condition the way u think of or describe
I said no to sausage symptom, Coz all kids in europe loves sausages, we could eat those everyday & also in china they have such sauges, but they cook them sweet. Also, if he likes certain food & eat it everyday, it's normal, u call it addiction. I could eat noodle or spaghetti just for lunch & dinner every single day. Im definitely happy about it.
No Full night sleep also not really a symptom, i do believe sometimes he could also sleep thru, but some kids learn this slower, co-sleeping with parents might help. In case these kids were asian in past life, that could explain because in asia we use to co-sleeping with parents or siblings, so he might feel strange to sleep alone. If he does sleep with u, but still cant sleep he might have food digestion trouble. I just opened a thread mentioning histamine intolerance, how the body release histamine to food we eat & react negatively, tummy uncomfort, difficult breathing, cant control toilet, headache/migraine, gastric bleeding, etc. Have u observed some intolerance possibility, such as acidic food, garlic/onion, lactose/milkprotein?
My younger son used to scream every night til his face turned blue, few times, i couldnt calm him downn & found out he cant stand any of milkprotein & some other protein. He has to take special protein-free milk. Since then, he sleeps thru (only sometimes happens to wake up & complain & falls back to sleep)
Toileting issues, could u pls be more precise how u train him to potty? He cant resist to hold his pee? Or he has to poo in his diaper? Have u noticed its consistence? Sometimes could be from the intolerance issues. Also could be you dont have confidence to train him intensively. I had a friend, her son used diaper until his 1st class which means 7 yrs old. It's because she was not confident enough to let him walk around diaper free whole day at home. She waited til he asked for it, but it nvr happened, coz her son nvr tasted the freedom of being diaper free. In addition to this, they have family issues like crash in marriage & I do believe, he wanted to gain attention from both parents to care for him.
Hate nail clipping, ear cleaning & medicine also no, some kids just dont want to be touched & to be held still in longer period, it's boring to them. They just dont understand why u must do this, u can distract him with toy or tv while doing this. Best perform nail clipping in front of him to yourself, he will learn it's part of routine. If I went to loo, i used to take kiddo to sit on his potty with diaper in front of my toilet, so he understands that he should pee in his toilet.
As about late talking, do u speak often to yr kid everyday since he was baby? Do u speak more than 1 language at home? Do u play him children program like teletubbies that they dont speak just make sounds??? All these must be considered. Kids learn to speak if he listen proper conversation everyday.
Cotton clothing preference could b it feels better on his skin. If he has skin rashes or itchy or sweat a lot, he would notice the cotton is more friendly to his skin, so no wonder if he is being choosy. To me, its even a positive behavior coz he knows what he wants.
Inspect his bread or play with it or explore it? It seems a healthy behavior to play with food & learn to eat himself. Or he find it interesting. When i was lil, mom told me that i love taking out the cotton in my pillow to tickle my nose to sleep /laugh just take it as something cute, rather than overthinking negatively about your kid
Lack of eye contact, if his PL born in a culture e.g. Chinese, asian, or others, that could explain, coz in asia even until now, as younger, we shouldnt look our elderly or ppl in higher status directly in the eyes, as if we challenge their authority. Also, angst & shyness could be 2 of the reasons, often insecure kids that think they always make mistakes & afraid their parents would get mad, ir they woukd feel embarassed, so they choose not to look. What you can do a play time with your child, face to face, tickle his neck & keep eye contact, so he builds his confidence & akways tell him, look into my eyes & laugh with me, so he gets used to.
Note: for those kids whose PLs were born in year 1998 or whose job as programmer in much earlier year, it wont b rare if they dont make eye contact at all & not socialize, coz it's modern era where parents bought laptop, ipad, mobile & modern gadgets for their kids to play all they long & just interested in games. Just observe surround u, how many young ppl sitting together, they dont communicate directly instead chatting thru their mobiles. Those with high IQ, could b a software programmers or IT scientist in their PLs coz they life pattern just married to codes & comp, my bro is a software developer, it took him ages to eat, coz his mind is thinking how to crack some codes instead of remembering to chew his food, until his next spoon, it took him 15 mins, he doesnt socialize, he bothers if ppl touch him, coz he needs concentration to think, dont want to get disturbed, he didnt respond to conversation nor making eye contact, his eyes were attached to screen or other object while he's thinking about coding. Sometimes he stares & plays with his food while thinking, actually he didnt examine the food, he didnt even notice what he stared at or had been doing, but it was just his under conscious movement while concentrating. He also often talks to himself & whdn I asked him what he said, he respond like 5 mins later & that in case he noticed I talked to him, all he said just "nothing, im just thinking loud"
He paid attention only when we popped in front of his face or during bedtime, when he turned off his computer, even in his sleep, he sleeps restlessly, he cant stop thinking of his projects, wakes up so many times, turns around in bed, or even walks around & back to sleep. The worst thing, he's too lazy to go toilet, he would hold his pee until super full to make him off from his comp screen, just simply dont want to b disturbed /laugh
So u see, not necessarily that your kid was born in a traumatic era to have these symptoms. Often the ppl themselves created bad habits in their PLs that made themselves autistic.
Lack of ego, it's a good thing. You have very wonderful kid